Unreasonable on dog walk

[Hatexmasdinner]

Myself, DH, DD (10) and DDog were out for a dog walk this morning. DDog tried to lay down to say hi to another dog. She was on a slip lead and my DH then popped said lead and sent her literally flying. My reaction was "oh my god" as I got a fright and DD said that it was a bit harsh. He then thrust the lead at me and stormed off. Didn't walk with us for the remaining 40 mins of walk. We got back to house and he came into the room and had a go at me for undermining him. At this point I lost it as I thought his behaviour was completely out of order, both the treatment of DDog and in front of DD. AIBU as he's now giving me silent treatment all day?

Is your dog typically reactive to other dogs, or was the dog it was trying to say hello to displaying aggressive behaviours?

The only time I'd do something like that is if I thought either my dog was in danger, or something else was in danger of my dog.

Absolutely this. He shamed himself - and he’s blaming you to deflect. Needs to man up and apologies. They rarely ever do tho in my experience. Just ride it out Op and ignore the silent treatment. Have fun with Dd and wait for it to sink in to his lil’ brain that he’s in the wrong. Telling him will just make him shut down more. You’re dealing with a big stroppy baby here. He just needs a time out to think about it.

‘Lay down to say hello to another dog’. Every dog that has lay down before interacting with mine has been trouble. I’d have been nervous had an unknown dog do that.

Ones that wander up and sniff are usually far more predictable.

Pedants' Corner is https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pedants_corner

What a horrible man,to treat your family pet in such a way and then use the silent treatment. This man screams BULLY.

Lying down and showing their tummy is a sign of submission and to show the other dog they are nice dogs and don’t mean harm.

Ddog (female) as a puppy used to do this a lot and as an adult dog would do this occasionally if she didn’t know the dog and they were bigger or an older female dog

Ddog was the calmest and most friendly dog ever

Dogs that lie down and roll over don't usually approach other dogs because they lack confidence, they are usually the ones being approached. Dogs that lie flat staring at the other dog (not rolling over to show their belly) can be unpredictable. But I still think OP's husband overreacted, and his dog didn't learn better manners from his actions so it was a pointless punishment.

If the poor dog is throttled every time another dog is on the horizon, it is probably not laying down to appease the approaching dog; it is trying to appease its handler.

It's common for dogs trained with physical coercion and fear to lack confidence and be overly submissive and fearful. This fear can lead to aggression if the owners don't respond accordingly and stop abusing their pet.

I’d get rid of the controlling little man; plus get a trainer for the dog.

Sounds like your daughter is getting the measure of your husband now. She's seen his immature, irresponsible, manipulative, controlling behaviour - started to recognise it for what it is.

He'll be coming for her next, as she becomes her own person and gradually gains independence. What will you do about that? Are you with him and nasty behaviour, or are you able to stand up for yourself, your dog and your daughter?

Oh yes. I was talking about lying down sphinx-like. That’s always meant ‘I’m going to pounce’ when we’ve encountered dogs. I agree, lying showing tummy is a totally different thing.

I've never understood why people try to resolve fear-based behaviours with physical punishment.

Think about it logically: If I take you for a walk to help cure your fear of dogs but I slap you upside the head every time you see a dog, is that going to help you overcome your fear or make you worse?

Now, what if, every time we see a dog, I give you £5 and let you turn around and walk the other way? Will that help build your confidence? Will you be too busy anticipating your £5 to notice you're getting closer to the strange dog before we turn around and walk away?

Ditto food aggression. If you're worried you're never going to see chocolate again and I give you a Mars bar and then snatch it away, are you going to feel comfortable eating the next Mars bar I give you when I'm close by? But what if every time I give you a Mars bar and you stay close to me I also give you a Snickers?

That's horrible of him, unless it was a complete accident. Can you ditch the slip lead now and go for a collar and a normal lead?

A halti is much better than any other lead for controlling a dog on a walk. I used one for my beautiful but powerful retriever and it was a game changer.

Ffs dogs do not go out to “say hello” to other dogs. THIS is what is wrong with dog owners today.

anyway OP, your husband sounds like a babyish cunt

Sounds like he can't handle the dog. Consider if it needs rehoming or if you can take over handling.

My ddog did. She loved meeting other dogs

My dog loves to meet and sniff/play with other dogs. It is a social interaction as well as exercise.

The problem is control. The husband cannot control the dog so strops and punishes (controls) his wife, with the silent treatment instead.

@MurderousFrieda - they 100% do and owners who do not allow them to is the problem! Dogs are social animals and most of them (obviously there’s always an exception) enjoy interacting with their own species. Socialising with other dogs stimulates them in ways that playing with humans simply cannot replicate. A dog who hasn’t been properly socialised is more likely to be reactive, anxious or aggressive. Why do you think a lot of vets and trainers recommend puppy socialising classes? Most dogs who have been trained and socialised properly will not randomly attack another one. A lot of the fear and anxiety a dog owner might have about their dog meeting others may also be picked up by the animal leading to a negative response.
I will respect another owner if they don’t want my dog to say hello for whatever reason and she will come when called to be put on the lead if necessary but this does not happen that often where I live.