Page 3 | Unreasonable on dog walk

Hatexmasdinner · 2024-12-27T21:13:44+00:00

Myself, DH, DD (10) and DDog were out for a dog walk this morning. DDog tried to lay down to say hi to another dog. She was on a slip lead and my DH then popped said lead and sent her literally flying. My reaction was "oh my god" as I got a fright and DD said that it was a bit harsh. He then thrust the lead at me and stormed off. Didn't walk with us for the remaining 40 mins of walk. We got back to house and he came into the room and had a go at me for undermining him. At this point I lost it as I thought his behaviour was completely out of order, both the treatment of DDog and in front of DD. AIBU as he's now giving me silent treatment all day?

stargazerlil · 28/12/2024 11:52

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 11:41

Dogs do not go out to "say hello" and I am fed up to the back teeth of people who think that allowing their dog to do whatever the hell it wants when my service dog is working - including attacking him ("oo, he's never done that before" - of course he has) - is ok. Your dog should be trained not to approach any other dog unless the owner of that dog has said they are ok with it - and you check first, keeping your dog under control until they have agreed. And while I am on the subject, an extending lead fully extended with the dog yanking the owner in all direction is not only NOT under control, but is very dangerous.

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why are you jumping on my comment with your triggering? I didn’t even offer an opinion on most of what you are talking about!
Dogs lay down when they want to say hello, which is what the OP said it did, The other person approaching then has the opportunity to let dogs say hello if they are friendly or not as the case may be.
Go have a go at someone else with your lack of dog empathy,

Zombieham · 28/12/2024 11:53

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 11:41

Dogs do not go out to "say hello" and I am fed up to the back teeth of people who think that allowing their dog to do whatever the hell it wants when my service dog is working - including attacking him ("oo, he's never done that before" - of course he has) - is ok. Your dog should be trained not to approach any other dog unless the owner of that dog has said they are ok with it - and you check first, keeping your dog under control until they have agreed. And while I am on the subject, an extending lead fully extended with the dog yanking the owner in all direction is not only NOT under control, but is very dangerous.

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I don't think @stargazerlil is suggesting that is should be a free for all and dogs should be allowed to do whatever they want on walks but allowing good socialisation is an important part of their mental welfare.

In this instance the dog was on a lead and lying down - not a risk to you or your service dog.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 28/12/2024 11:53

Undermining him? To the dog?!

NewZealandintherain · 28/12/2024 11:56

Urgh I hate those leads. He sounds
like a prick who likes to be the big man bullying his dog. You embarrassed him so he had himself a huff.

stargazerlil · 28/12/2024 11:56

Zombieham · 28/12/2024 11:53

I don't think @stargazerlil is suggesting that is should be a free for all and dogs should be allowed to do whatever they want on walks but allowing good socialisation is an important part of their mental welfare.

In this instance the dog was on a lead and lying down - not a risk to you or your service dog.

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Thank you.

Inastatus · 28/12/2024 11:59

@EmmaMaria - most dogs do enjoy sniffing and ‘saying hello’ to other dogs. All the dogs I’ve ever known have in any case. My dog loves meeting another friendly dog and having a play with it in the forest. Of course a service dog who is working is completely different to your average pet dog! It’s also different if the other dog is on a lead and I wouldn’t let my dog approach in this situation without checking first

Christmassoxs · 28/12/2024 12:01

I'd be making your turd of a husband wear the lead and see how he likes being yanked off his feet, what a complete wanker he really is with the sulking as well.

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 12:17

stargazerlil · 28/12/2024 11:52

why are you jumping on my comment with your triggering? I didn’t even offer an opinion on most of what you are talking about!
Dogs lay down when they want to say hello, which is what the OP said it did, The other person approaching then has the opportunity to let dogs say hello if they are friendly or not as the case may be.
Go have a go at someone else with your lack of dog empathy,

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If you can't read what you ACTUALLY said, rather than your belated back-pedalling, then you are part of the problem. And I have more dog empathy in my little finger than you have if you think that all dogs lie down to "say hello" - they certainly don't, and in some breeds it is the precurser movement to determine an attack strategy.
@Inastatus I did not say that dogs may not enjoy meeting other dogs. I said that dogs do not go out to meet other dogs. They go out in the company of their human handler for the purposes that the human determines. It is our responsibility as a handler to ensure that they are behaving appropriately towards other dogs and humans, and not to let them do as they will. The OP's husband was not doing that. And neither do the vast majority of dog owners in my experience.

stargazerlil · 28/12/2024 12:18

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 12:17

If you can't read what you ACTUALLY said, rather than your belated back-pedalling, then you are part of the problem. And I have more dog empathy in my little finger than you have if you think that all dogs lie down to "say hello" - they certainly don't, and in some breeds it is the precurser movement to determine an attack strategy.
@Inastatus I did not say that dogs may not enjoy meeting other dogs. I said that dogs do not go out to meet other dogs. They go out in the company of their human handler for the purposes that the human determines. It is our responsibility as a handler to ensure that they are behaving appropriately towards other dogs and humans, and not to let them do as they will. The OP's husband was not doing that. And neither do the vast majority of dog owners in my experience.

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actually I think your the problem.

Christmassoxs · 28/12/2024 12:26

You two need to agree to disagree it seems.😐

Zombieham · 28/12/2024 12:28

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 12:17

If you can't read what you ACTUALLY said, rather than your belated back-pedalling, then you are part of the problem. And I have more dog empathy in my little finger than you have if you think that all dogs lie down to "say hello" - they certainly don't, and in some breeds it is the precurser movement to determine an attack strategy.
@Inastatus I did not say that dogs may not enjoy meeting other dogs. I said that dogs do not go out to meet other dogs. They go out in the company of their human handler for the purposes that the human determines. It is our responsibility as a handler to ensure that they are behaving appropriately towards other dogs and humans, and not to let them do as they will. The OP's husband was not doing that. And neither do the vast majority of dog owners in my experience.

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But the dog was on a lead!!

And the vast majority of walks that dogs go on are for exercise and stimulation, which includes socialisation (and the human handler has determined this is the purpose).

I've got a reactive dog and have experienced inconsiderate dog owners letting theirs bound up despite mine being on lead so have similar frustrations as you regarding some dog owners. I don't understand though how you have concluded that @stargazerlil is advocating letting all dogs say hello to whoever they want whenever they want.

Deathraystare · 28/12/2024 12:28

I really don't understand some people that have dogs. They are not allowing their dogs to communicate with others and also see plenty of people that won't allow their dogs to pee up trees, lamp posts. They always tug them along. What is the actual reason for them to have dogs if they are like this????

Tinselskirt · 28/12/2024 12:39

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 11:41

Dogs do not go out to "say hello" and I am fed up to the back teeth of people who think that allowing their dog to do whatever the hell it wants when my service dog is working - including attacking him ("oo, he's never done that before" - of course he has) - is ok. Your dog should be trained not to approach any other dog unless the owner of that dog has said they are ok with it - and you check first, keeping your dog under control until they have agreed. And while I am on the subject, an extending lead fully extended with the dog yanking the owner in all direction is not only NOT under control, but is very dangerous.

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What's any of that got to do with the OP?

Inastatus · 28/12/2024 12:40

@EmmaMaria - I accept it is different for you with your service dog but for my dog and most of the dogs we meet out and about, one of the purposes of taking her for a walk is for her to socialise with other dogs. In the 10 years I have had her, I have never witnessed any dogs attacking each other. I live in the country so most dogs around here have a lot of freedom, maybe that’s got something to do with it…

Inastatus · 28/12/2024 12:48

Deathraystare · 28/12/2024 12:28

I really don't understand some people that have dogs. They are not allowing their dogs to communicate with others and also see plenty of people that won't allow their dogs to pee up trees, lamp posts. They always tug them along. What is the actual reason for them to have dogs if they are like this????

@Deathraystare - 100% agree! Dogs are not just here for our enjoyment/benefit (again, before EmmaMarie has a go, service dogs excluded!). Taking them for a walk is one of the highlights of their day, they should be allowed time to sniff, go to the toilet and socialise.

Bogginsthe3rd · 28/12/2024 12:48

"DDog" 😂

HermoinePotter · 28/12/2024 13:12

EmmaMaria · 28/12/2024 11:41

Dogs do not go out to "say hello" and I am fed up to the back teeth of people who think that allowing their dog to do whatever the hell it wants when my service dog is working - including attacking him ("oo, he's never done that before" - of course he has) - is ok. Your dog should be trained not to approach any other dog unless the owner of that dog has said they are ok with it - and you check first, keeping your dog under control until they have agreed. And while I am on the subject, an extending lead fully extended with the dog yanking the owner in all direction is not only NOT under control, but is very dangerous.

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Well aren’t you a little ray of sunshine?

If your dog is appropriately liveried (although I know this is not law in the UK) how are people to know you have an Assistance Dog? If you Assistance dog is appropriately trained then they shouldn’t react to any other dogs approaching anyway.

HermoinePotter · 28/12/2024 13:15

Inastatus · 28/12/2024 12:48

@Deathraystare - 100% agree! Dogs are not just here for our enjoyment/benefit (again, before EmmaMarie has a go, service dogs excluded!). Taking them for a walk is one of the highlights of their day, they should be allowed time to sniff, go to the toilet and socialise.

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I completely agree.

Assistance dogs also need enrichment and time off lead to socialise etc when they’re not working.

hehehesorry · 28/12/2024 13:23

Your dog is so badly trained and heavy it has pulled you over twice (what would have happened if you were on a verge near a road and it decided to pull you over?) and now your husband is walking it and you're having an argument over a dog getting bowled over? It sounds like a sturdy animal, it won't have done lifelong harm. Rather than causing a marital rift over a dog I'd suggest getting a handle on a dog that defies you by pulling you over, needing a trainer, and laying down when it's told to continue. If your dog won't ignore a dog when told to it's not ready to meet other dogs, focus on a "look at me" and a "walk on" command using treats before you put it in a situation it can choose to defy you to greet another dog by using it's bodyweight (like it did when it decided to pull you over to do what it pleased).
Definitely don't use a harness of any kind with a poorly trained larger breed, and don't use a head halter because they're more likely to damage the neck than a badly popped slip just because a dog's neck is not meant to be consistently turned to the side via the head. Stick with the slip or get a nice flat collar and work on obedience even if it means months of training a nice heel and look command with 0 distraction on boring routes.

whatistheworld · 28/12/2024 13:41

MarnieRey · 27/12/2024 22:11

what's your reasoning for using a slip lead? if you're okay with using one you accept that they cause pain (even though he obviously overused it). You both need to engage the services of a positive dog trainer ASAP because neither of you seem to know what you're doing. Using an aversive method on your dog while it's in submissive mode will also help to make your dog reactive to dogs. He was awful but you both need to do a LOT better.

a slip lead used correctly and in the correct place causes less pain than a pulling on dog on a lead and collar.
Harnesses encourage pulling and in a big dog that is difficult!

whatistheworld · 28/12/2024 13:45

Isobel201 · 28/12/2024 10:36

A dog headcollar is kinder to use if your dog pulls, or a harness that you clip the lead to the centre of the chest.

a harness is the worse thing to use if your dog pulls as they encourage pulling in a big dog.
The best way to stop a dog pulling is to spend hours training it not too! I spent hours inside/garden as a puppy walking up and down at heal

drivinmecrazy · 28/12/2024 14:02

'a harness is the worse thing to use if your dog pulls as they encourage pulling in a big dog.
The best way to stop a dog pulling is to spend hours training it not too! I spent hours inside/garden as a puppy walking up and down at heal'

Respectfully I'd disagree.

We have a Weimaraner who is in a Perfect Fit harness, clipped onto the front.
They are notorious dogs for pulling by their chest and this stops it pretty much immediately.

A slip can work effectively if you and the dog are trained to use it properly, not cruel at all.
Unfortunately many people use slip leads incorrectly.
It didn't suit us but I know many gundog owners who use them without any issue.

The problem is usually with the handler not the dog regardless of what you're using.

drivinmecrazy · 28/12/2024 14:08

Whatistheworld I do agree with you about training though.

Our trainer drummed it into us to practice practice practice without any distractions.

I spent many a solitary hour in our little cul-de-sac walking up and down and changing direction.
Must have looked deranged at times, but it paid off.

Also to never leave the garden for a walk if he wasn't cooperating.

So as a pup he learnt quite quickly he needed to be calm before we set out on our walk.

Mind you didn't stop him being a dick on the walk, but definitely meant we started in the right mindset.

All comes down to not setting them up to fail, and perseverance

Coconutter24 · 28/12/2024 14:22

Deathraystare · 28/12/2024 12:28

I really don't understand some people that have dogs. They are not allowing their dogs to communicate with others and also see plenty of people that won't allow their dogs to pee up trees, lamp posts. They always tug them along. What is the actual reason for them to have dogs if they are like this????

Some dogs don’t want to communicate or socialise and the owners know this which is why they don’t like dogs or people randomly coming up to them.

stargazerlil · 28/12/2024 14:29

Zombieham · 28/12/2024 12:28

But the dog was on a lead!!

And the vast majority of walks that dogs go on are for exercise and stimulation, which includes socialisation (and the human handler has determined this is the purpose).

I've got a reactive dog and have experienced inconsiderate dog owners letting theirs bound up despite mine being on lead so have similar frustrations as you regarding some dog owners. I don't understand though how you have concluded that @stargazerlil is advocating letting all dogs say hello to whoever they want whenever they want.

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I know, I didn’t advocate that. I don’t know how she’s concluded that. It’s irrational.
My dogs very small and submissive, overly friendly, given a chance she’ll run up to make friends and roll on her back in front of other dogs, but we observe the protocol that if we see a dog on a lead we put her on the lead too.
she’s young still and some walks we do are focused on training and commands
But absolutely she goes out for fun and that includes socialising with other dogs that we know.