It's a bloody dog!

[MammaKel]

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

They do like their short bursts and then sleep. I've always had working dogs like collies or terriers from farm stock. Some are great at stopping, others need help learning to relax. My old Border Terrier wouldn't even sleep through the night, she was "on guard".

Why should it worry you? I think we need to bear in mind that the dog/baby/child equation is purely from the perspective of the OP - herself a non-dog person, and not from the actual owners. That is the danger with threads like this. The dog may be happily running around the fields every day, being a normal dog, but because the owners think it is sweet to involve it in Christmas celebrations, they are being repeatedly labelled as being mentally ill/unable to have children. This may be far removed from the true relationship.

Ah. I've always had Livestock Protection Dogs, which is very different from a hound. LGD never switch off from guarding their flock (which obviously includes us), so too much disruption to their calm routine tires them out mentally. They really do need their peaceful sleep time, particularly when young.

Exactly. These threads are always exaggerated as the truth wouldn’t be worth a thread.

This is absolutely harmless so I don’t understand the sneering .?
I have 3 children ( all grown up now ) and we have had dogs for many years ( only one at a time )
We jokingly refer to ourselves as our dogs mum and dad and say to our youngest to go and sort out her furry brother 😂
He gets Christmas and birthday gifts 🎁 too and is very much a part of the family.
We don’t however expect anyone else to get him gifts ( although one of my friends did because she was coming to visit me for coffee when it was his birthday so she brought him a pack of really good dog chews )
We don’t refer to our own parents as the dog’s grandparents that’s bonkers 🤪 and we don’t refer to our own siblings as the dogs aunties and uncles 🤪
My dog is also fed appropriate dog food and if need be he’s shut away for any guests who might feel uncomfortable around him .
I don’t dress him up he’d be raging 😤 he has a rain jacket if it’s absolutely pouring with rain as it means there is less of him to try and dry off

I saw a Christmas card that said, 'If cats could give Christmas cards - they wouldn't'😂Your blessed to have such thoughtful kittys in your life

I am so very sorry 😢

Ah that’s really annoying !
we leave our dog when we need to but limit the time to 3 -4 hours if necessary.
Or one of us is home and the others head out of we think we might be much longer than that , alternatively we can use a boarding kennel .
We do like to go for a dog walk and find a dog friendly age for a coffee and it’s a bonus if we are allowed inside but our dog is quiet .
i wouldn’t sit out freezing 🥶 I’d get takeout coffee and keep walking

Yup, some people don’t seem to be able to be able to read properly!

A fiver says the owner was there with all the dog’s human ‘cousins’ …

I don't understand this owner/no title thing

@CoubousAndTourmalet - I described myself as the dog’s owner because I was.

If I wanted the dog to go to someone would use their name. You know, like a normal person would.

“Go to Stuart/Louise” not “Go to your daddy” or “Go to your auntie”.

But I am "Ipsy" to DH, "mum" to DD and a variety of nicknames to my parents. Dog needs one name to associate with me, and I don't want DD calling me "Ipsy" instead of mum.

Surely you can see how that works for a lot of families?

My DD Dec 1st Presents* were wrapped in paper that had If this cat could buy you a present ....it wouldn't

*I buy Dec 1st presents for my DC . This isn't the time or place to tell me I am wrong/filling the world with tat/raising their expectations / and YES it's A Thing

The more language you teach a dog, the more it learns. If you stick to good boy/girl and very basic commands that is all they will learn. If you speak to them constantly it is amazing how much they take in

Yes, agree with this.

I'm not of the 'my dog is my furbaby' club BUT I have realised that I talk to her an awful lot, in the same way I talked to the dc as very young toddlers. So giving very simple explanations of things, a basic running commentary etc.

Consequently, her understanding is phenomenal. She knows everyone's names - so if I say go to Mathew/Simon etc she'll go directly to them. If I say 'go and look out of the window' because there's something I think she'd be interested in (I know right, but I do 😂) she'll run straight there. She follows so many instructions, if looking for a ball she knows exactly what I mean by 'by the fence' or 'on the patio'.

So much more too - understanding-wise, I really do find it similarish to having an 18 month old child. And I swear it's because I've always yapped at her, in the same way I kept up a commentary for my curious toddlers.

MauveVelcro: is your dog a Collie?

I do the same @MauveVelcro I chat to my dog all the time, explaining why he can’t eat mud etc. We’re home alone most of the day so part of it is company for me but he understands me getting a cup of tea means going to the kitchen, will watch for the kids coming home from school, knows where his toys are. His recall is still shocking so he’s not that clever but he understands a lot of what I’m saying.

Springer Spaniel (working lines, her parents were gun dogs...although we don't work her).

@Blabadder
It may have been with all of its cousins, including the vet, the doctor and the nuclear physicist...but it's still lazy ownership 😁

Which is fair enough and makes perfect sense.

We chose to do "mum & dad" simply because I got my first dog as a kid, when I lived with my parents, so it became habit to say mum & dad and they would jokingly refer to the dog as my sister.

It never occurred to us to use our forenames with our own pets, I suppose you follow what your family does to some extent. We could probably quite easily still teach our pup what our names are.

It's insane behaviour if you do it to the extent you expect others to seriously join in.. and become genuinely offended when they don't.
I think many are missing the point. You can treat your own dog however you want, call them your son for fun if you want, buy them gifts.. thats up to you!! .. thats not what the OP was complaining about. That's not what's insane.
What's insane is genuinely believing the dog is a family member to the extent you expect it to be included as family by all other actual human family members.

Agree @MauveVelcro @Jellycatspyjamas

I natter away to ours. When she's mooching in the garden I'll go to the door and say "I'm doing your lunch" and she'll come straight in. It's just stuff like that all day long. Current pup (Pyrenean) is only 9 months old, and it's amazing how much she understands already. For me, that's just a joy and I think it strengthens the bond that we have with them.

I think so too, I’ll tell him I’m just having a coffee and then we’ll go for a walk, or that I’m going to sort his lunch, or that I’m going into a meeting. He also understands when one of the kids are in trouble (and always takes their side 😂). He’s a dog but absolutely part of the household with his own quirks and personality.

‘Fur cousin’ 🤮 noe I’ve really heard it all.
Utterly bonkers -swerve them!!!

My children managed perfectly well to understand that their father and grandparents and all my friends call me Turo and they still called me Mummy without any confusion.

Why would my pets need me to have the label my children use and not my actual name to the world? I was me long before I was Mummy. And I’m not a parent to any my animals.

That said, I’m fairly sure the hens call me Treat Bringer and the cat calls me Lackey. The dog knew me as Turo, though. If you want your dog to know you as Mummy, you do you.

This is all a long way from OP’s point -batshit family members getting huffy no one bought the dog a present nor regard him as a their relative. That is mad as a box of frogs.

I don't have children, so didn't buy any 1st Dec gifts. It balances out 😁

I love the idea that in a cat and dog household the dog would be thumbing through gift catalogues trying to get the cat on board with the idea of a joint gift. The cat tosses the dog £20 note and tells him to ''just get whatever'' and stick his name on the label 😂