It's a bloody dog!

[MammaKel]

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

If you are not "mummy and daddy" to the dog what are you? "Master and mistress" ?

The owners? 😅

This made me
Laugh but mostly because I can relate lol ! My dogs are my babies they aren't little tiny cute ones they are medium cute ones lol but I adore them , buy them presents for Christmas/ birthday etc and they are my family
I mean I adore my real human children of course but I think it's ok to adore your pets as well

Yup! The best about dogs is that they can curl up and ‘nap’ anywhere,
especially after exercise…unless that particular puppy was being Gina Ford method trained? You know, sleep in a certain place, and the same time every day??? Wouldn’t put it past some owners after reading this thread!!!!

Our vet once referred to me as ‘owner’ - can you imagine!!!! Not mummy. The monsters…

Have you ever had a working breed? They do sometimes need to be taught to rest. Because it's bred into them that they need to be ready to go. And their minds are constantly going.

I know a mom of 4 who does this sort of thing.

Doesn't have to be about "can't have kids & compensating".

The idea that the couple in OPs original post have a ‘working’ breed that they’re are demanding presents for and treating like a baby is frankly ridiculous!
I have had working breeds as it happens, but for working not babying like a child so outdoors, kept away from children, not treated like a ‘furbaby’.
we currently have a small working breed which is a family pet and trust me, does NOT need to be taught to sleep…

Many of the "designer" breeds have spaniel in them. Sometimes, they need help knowing to "stop".

I'm glad you've been lucky. My collie was great at resting. My terrier from my cousin's working dogs litter was not. She would go and go until we stopped her.

Dogs have personalities too. Some of them need different things to your experience.

Actually with a young dog or older puppy it very often means overtired/overstimulated.
My dogs are not lap dogs or child replacements, I have a 50kg guarding breed, but I know them well enough to differentiate between bored and need a walk and tired, overexcited cranky. It's a different behaviour altogether.
Sometimes they do need to be left in a quiet place to rest. Allowing them to quietly wind-down indicates responsible ownership not babying.

The solution would also be, of course - do t take your dog everywhere you go! the spaniel recently in the pub licking the face off his owner was absolutely mental and really shouldn’t have been there at all… sitting in laps, jumping up, on the bench, lurching at anyone else who came close… but I suppose ‘furbaby’ dogs have to come everywhere…

I presume you've never had a dog then...

I'm not anything? My dog can't speak so doesn't address me directly and I tend not to refer to myself in the third person.

Have you never had to say "go to X" because they're calling them and the dog is looking at you? My dogs have always been well trained and well behaved but there's always the odd occasion they don't immediately go to the person in the house calling them.

Or when teaching recall, we've been opposite sides of the secure field calling the dog. Sometimes I've needed to say go to DH or vice versa.

In those scenarios what would have called the other person?

My Mum and her 5th husband (they were 50 when they married) did this and it made me cringe- but just ignore it, as far as you can- don't apologise for not buying gifts, I used to compromise by making them dog biscuits in the shape of a dog/ bone.

That's just lazy ownership. It's very easy to discourage dogs from licking and they should learn it as pups. None of my lot have been lickers.
I call her baby, because she's still a pup which is a baby dog. I'm not keen on the term "furbaby" but I do say I'm her Mum.
She won't go in a pub, cafe or shop because I know she'd hate it. She'd rather be walking on the moors.

Not all of us think of our dogs as baby or child substitutes but we still call ourselves their Mum or Dad and that is what we seem to be failing to get across here.
For me, calling myself "Mum" to a dog that weighs more than I do is just a bit of fun. I don't seriously think of her as my child, yet most on here would be convinced that I do, purely on the basis of that one title.

I’ve got two.

No, that is not what the rest of us read in that post.
Your comprehension skills need fine tuning.

Absolutely. I’ve never encountered a dog that needed an enforced nap

My puppy does need an enforced nap, he gets overstimulated if there are too many people in the house, has had a very stimulating walk etc. I can tell when he just needs to stop but is too excited/distracted to rest. At those times he needs to be in his crate or a quiet corner to settle.

I don't understand this owner/no title thing. We have joint ownership so why would we both say "go to your owner", that would just confuse the dog; "go to your Mum/Dad" makes more sense. If you prefer to use forenames then fine, do that, but your dog needs to know you as something... I don't understand how it's possible not to refer yourself as anything.

Our dog knows the cats names. When we had three dogs together they all knew their own and each others name and the same was true of our 6 cats. We've always been a multi-pet household so that's important.

The more language you teach a dog, the more it learns. If you stick to good boy/girl and very basic commands that is all they will learn. If you speak to them constantly it is amazing how much they take in.

The behaviour described in the OP worries me. Being fond of your pets is normal but equating them with human beings in such an extreme way is not. When we lost a much-loved cat, my father was so perturbed by our level of grief that he refused to let us have a replacement. It was years later that I realised he loved that cat so much himself that he couldn’t bear to put himself through so much sadness again.

Oh. Sorry 😳

It surprises me that you've never experienced an overtired, overstimulated dog in need of rest, but clearly it must depend on the individual dog...

Maybe. But we’ve always had dogs, even as a kid.

You may not have noticed the routine your parents put in place when you were a kid. And maybe you just followed the same routine without realising or got lucky with your dogs temperament.

My collie was very routine driven. She would get anxious when we were out of routine. That would make bad behaviour, although for her that just meant a bit of pacing, pawing at us and things etc. But for other dogs that would possibly have manifested as chewing, barking, biting etc.

Possibly. I do have greyhounds, to be fair…