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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a bloody dog!

571 replies

MammaKel · 27/12/2024 16:40

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/12/2024 17:06

Actually Tuesday morning saw me buying the DC their presents from the cats ....but we didn;t buy presents for the Cats so I;m ok

biscuitsandbooks · 27/12/2024 17:07

The whole "furbaby" thing really creeps me out - and I own multiple animals and run pet care business, lol.

owlexpress · 27/12/2024 17:11

Floralnomad · 27/12/2024 17:02

I don’t know why people equate treating a dog like a family member with badly trained dog . We’ve always treated all of our pets ( including horses) like they are mini family members , they get Christmas / birthday gifts etc but at the same time they’ve always been exercised , trained , fed appropriate food for them etc . It sounds to me like the OPs relatives are taking excellent care of their dog and it harms nobody ( or the dog) if they refer to it as their fur baby . It’s a shame that so many peoples go to is to sneer and be nasty about something that doesn’t even affect them .

Absolutely. We refer to each other as mum and dad when talking to DDog, but obviously are well aware we're not her parents. Ditto I'll refer to my nephews as her cousins, but I am absolutely joking. Everyone gets DDog a present too, just a wee token dentastick or something.

Original poster
MammaKel · 27/12/2024 17:12

To the dog as well Grin

I'm not really fussed how they treat their dog. Like others have said, he's well looked healthy enough. He's 3, so I'm not sure if that's young but fair enough if he needed a nap.

I just don't think you should expect other people to share the same sentiment.

OP posts:
GoogolB · 27/12/2024 17:12

When the dog starts getting you presents is when you might think about getting one for him.

ExtraOnions · 27/12/2024 17:16

The humanisation of dogs is part of the reason there are so many badly trained dogs. They are not humans, they don’t have same cognitive ability, feelings, executive brain function etc. It’s not really fair on the dogs, they need rules and a pack structure .. can be quite anxiety inducing in them, not to be treated like a dog.

XenoBitch · 27/12/2024 17:18

Floralnomad · 27/12/2024 17:02

I don’t know why people equate treating a dog like a family member with badly trained dog . We’ve always treated all of our pets ( including horses) like they are mini family members , they get Christmas / birthday gifts etc but at the same time they’ve always been exercised , trained , fed appropriate food for them etc . It sounds to me like the OPs relatives are taking excellent care of their dog and it harms nobody ( or the dog) if they refer to it as their fur baby . It’s a shame that so many peoples go to is to sneer and be nasty about something that doesn’t even affect them .

I totally agree.
People sneer at how people refer to their dogs. I have seen many a comment on MN that "dog are not members of the family.. they are just dogs".
There was even a thread where OP pleaded with dog owners to stop referring to themselves as mum/dad to their dog. Several posters even said you must refer to yourself as your first name to your dog. Totally batshit.
And people looking down on dog owners who "treat their dogs like children"... well, is that a bad thing? You can dote on your dog and spoil them rotten... and also have a well trained dog. It seems some folk think dogs should live in a kennel in the garden, have no toys, no nice treats etc.

Haggia · 27/12/2024 17:19

Four cats?

ObtuseMoose · 27/12/2024 17:19

We only gift for pets in our friendship group, and my son appreciates it very much. My son is a slightly chonky Tuxedo.

SapphireOpal · 27/12/2024 17:20

MammaKel · 27/12/2024 17:12

To the dog as well Grin

I'm not really fussed how they treat their dog. Like others have said, he's well looked healthy enough. He's 3, so I'm not sure if that's young but fair enough if he needed a nap.

I just don't think you should expect other people to share the same sentiment.

3 is not particularly young - they should be well out of the not-yet well-trained puppy stage, and well past needing to be taken for enforced naps! Why couldn't the dog just nap there?

SpryUmberZebra · 27/12/2024 17:22

dontknowwhathappens · 27/12/2024 16:42

maybe they can’t have kids and are compensating with the dog? Like - does it really matter?

Yes it matter when you’re expecting people to buy Christmas presents for your dog. The issue is they bring the dog into everything and everywhere and expect people to pander and play along.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 27/12/2024 17:22

I buy my dog Christmas gifts because she likes to open them. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to bug her gifts nor do I buy gifts for other peoples dogs.

are they ttc and struggling? Is the dog compensation for a child they want but can’t have?

EmeraldDreams73 · 27/12/2024 17:23

They sound mad. Our dog is the light of everyone's life and did get a couple of toys at Christmas but the word "furbaby" gives me the massive ick. She is well trained and properly looked after and does have a jumper for her very cold visits with dds to their dad's as he lives in a literal warehouse.

I wouldn't dream of having a go at someone for not buying her a present! Although she is obsessed with opening presents/wrapping paper and helped all of us with every single one 😆

SpryUmberZebra · 27/12/2024 17:23

Undisclosedlocation · 27/12/2024 16:47

Well in your first points you are spot on. The humanisation of dogs is absolutely ridiculous these days
However an overtired (young?) dog is an absolute pain in the arse. Usually bitey, running around at 100mph and doing wall of death round the furniture. In that aspect, a dog nap is generally a good idea! 😂

That why you don’t bring your dog to every social gathering.

CandyCane457 · 27/12/2024 17:23

As a cat mum (Meowmie) I opened your post expecting to disagree with you but after reading that… Christ they seem a bit much! Expecting you to have bought their dog a gift, why the hell would you? Did they get something for your cats? I did laugh when I read the bit where you “apologised for some reason.”
I adore my cat and she is my whole world, my boyfriend and I adore her. When people send pics of their babies in group chats, I respond with pics of my cat. I do talk about her probably more than what is the norm. But I certainly don’t expect people to buy her presents, wtf! I also don’t leave events in case she needs a nap- could the dog not have just slept there!!?

UndeniablyGenXmasOfAWomblingMerryType · 27/12/2024 17:23

The dog element is irrelevant as far as I am concerned - it's rude to ask for a present, no matter who for! It would be equally if they had a child for whom you hadn't brought a present and they asked you 'where it was'.

rosydreams · 27/12/2024 17:23

i am only bothered by a relatives kooky behavior if it negatively affects others.If its kooky but just kooky but not in a way like they are being rude or being the awful relative then it could be worst.I would count myself lucky yes their weird but at least its positive weird not hurtful or disrespectful weird.

I would just over look it unless they let the dogs behavior rule the roost then its a problem.You think this is bad my dad was the king of kooky he decided one day to open all his windows at 7 am and blast the life of brian soundtrack on speakers out the window .Thats just a snippet of it

Octoberdreaming · 27/12/2024 17:23

I’m with you OP. I always find ‘fur-babies’ really cringeworthy.
A dog is a pet and not a substitute child.

At my local coffee shop you can get a ‘puppachino’ and ‘pup-treat’ for your dog, yet there isn’t even an option of anything gluten free for my poor kid who is coeliac!
The world is turning bonkers.

JMSA · 27/12/2024 17:24

I bought Christmas presents for my daughter's Ragdoll kitten.
To be fair, it's his first Christmas Grin

ThatKhakiMoose · 27/12/2024 17:25

I suppose it's the same with anything - some people go way overboard. I had a situation with a friend who became overly attached to her dog, in that she refused to leave the dog alone for one second of the day or night. So she had to come everywhere with us and we were restricted to restaurants that allowed dogs. It was a total pain. We could no longer go to the places we'd always gone and that I really liked, and there was no reason for it, except she wanted that dog by her side 24/7. It was completely unhealthy. And if she had to go somewhere that she couldn't take the dog, she'd get a babysitter!!!

I appreciate how much people love their pets, I really do, but I draw the line at people who think they're as important as people. I feel that that's insulting to our loved ones. I've lost both parents and no dog could ever replace them, and it would be insulting to suggest it.

frankie001 · 27/12/2024 17:25

My dog was thrilled with a pig in blanket from my plate, and very happy she was too!

2025willbemytime · 27/12/2024 17:25

My ex MIL always buys gifts for my cats and a dog and this year my ex BIL did too. I would only have been upset if they didn't because they have previously - pre divorce - but wouldn't have minded if they never started.

Leaving for a dog nap is fine but he needs to learn to sleep anywhere..

JMSA · 27/12/2024 17:25

And for my own beloved Shih Tzu, but I didn't go nuts on him this year.

TheWorminLabyrinth · 27/12/2024 17:26

To be fair OP, you're the one adding a D to the word dog!

2025willbemytime · 27/12/2024 17:26

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/12/2024 16:53

I love this!!!!

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Me too!