DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

That’s the side they like to promote. The other side is they agree to support each other in all circumstances - Solicitors, Barristers, Judges, ‘Lords of the Realm’ and various other people - sorry, men of power and influence!

What is wrong with them helping their own members? I have been a member of the RCN for a long time. They've given me money towards courses and things over the years. It's kind of the point of being a paid member of something. You don't just give them money and never expect anything in return.

It is an infantile expression, but common on MN 🤷‍♀️

How do you know they were Freemasons? Did they announce it in court?

My dad told me this I don't know how they found its a good question!

In which case why then does 80% of the money ( donated with the tax claimed back ) go back to Masons or their immediate family members

Education for example. To be legible you must be a Mason or a child, step child or grandchild of a Mason
and yet their financial reports clearly state their Education grants are non Masonic. That is a lie as without the Masonic connection you will not be approved and as such Education should be noted in their financials as Masonic not non Masonic.

Its clear to see the vast majority of money goes to Masonsic families alone. It’s self interest and nothing more. If Masons join and think they are doing it for the whole wider community they really need to look at the books. It’s all available to see

My DF is a freemason. It's any culture/ religion used to be about connections and still probably is, bearing in mind my DF though self employed was blue collar so not all about connections in the way some presume. My dad is a member of 2 lodges and has been grand mason, have we as his DC taken the mickey out of him (oh yes we have) have any of us followed him in to it ( nope) they are a little secretive about their ceremonies or at least used to be maybe social media has changed that. But it's about building friendships and connections and raising money for charity.

Some of my DF friends were at my wedding because through ladies evenings and socialising we had as a family gotten to know them all lovely people ranging from Christian to Catholic to Jewish etc because it can be any faith you just have to believe there is a supreme being ( whatever that maybe)

The ladies evenings were great nights and another way to raise money for charity I have been to a few in my up bringing though the last was probably 26 years ago ( yep I'm old)

Do i think as a feminist there is misogyny ? yes most definitely there used to be in my opinion but they do allow women in so it's not just men though do they need more acceptance of diversity most probably. Is it possibly cultist? possibly because you need to believe in a supreme being no matter faith but you aren't tied in like most cults and can join/leave anytime etc. But overall in my experience it's a social group like many others where you pay yearly dues ( cheaper than my kids clubs not going to lie) where you help others with a mix of society that means you can network and make connections that could improve your future in employment etc.

Tbh without some of the connections my DF had made i wouldn't have had the help FOC of people that supported me and 10 others in a fraud case. Which without the information wouldn't have gone to court as we had all been dismissed by the police.

So overall I don't perceive freemason as wiered or cultish or wrong maybe secretive though less so probably these days. But if after you speak with him and get more informed and still feel the ick about it you need to be honest with him and if that means it's a deal breaker then it's a deal breaker however that my look

It’s supposed to be a charity.
Hence the financial benefits of claiming tax back

Just like Private schools that have now been hit with tax so too should the Freemasons be hit with a tax unless they are fully charitable. Personal benefit doesn’t count as charity

How is it not a charity? The RCN is a charity too. The people benefitting from it are people who meet the criteria.

Ok, I am thrown by this. I am in my late 60s, so much older than most on here. My father died when I was in my 20s - he actually had a heart attack at a lodge meeting and bizarrely they drove him to the small hospital 20 miles away near his home rather than the big general hospital nearby. Where he had a second heart attack and died. But.... it was a massive source of support for him when he lost my mum aged 50. He had companionship, a sense of belonging and purpose, many friends, and even took up sailing aged 60 with one. And they all go to the funerals. Dozens of them in a semi circle to welcome the hearse. We thought we'd gone to the wrong funeral. But they made a fantastic Welsh choir.

Try visiting the great lodge in Covent Garden, for free. Astonishing place. Lots of history to learn.

Whilst it is weird, I can't imagine why it is a marriage breaker. They are not harming anyone. And my dad was the funniest,sweetest, most popular man you could imagine. Not some whacko type.

If Mumsnet was a site for women it wouldn’t bother me, but accurately setting out that it is now a site for all (although most posters are women) is important to me, because the truth is important to me.

if you think challenging others spreading unsubstantiated lies about an organisation and its members, the same types of unsubstantiated lies the Nazis spread about Freemasons, lies which saw Freemasonry banned and members sent to concentration camps makes me “argumentative, and frankly a bit odd” so be it. I would rather be a “bit odd” than think I shared views with the Nazis. Guess that’s just my moral compass, you’re right everyone is entitled to their own opinions and morals.

They are corrupt. The whole don't snitch thing combined with actively recruiting police officers is just messed up. No one should be above the law.

The Masons are satanic. I’d be out if there. Listen to your gut.

By RCN do you mean the Royal College of Nursing? You surely can’t be comparing professional membership to an established professional body to the Freemasons? They are totally different. I am a paid member of the Health and Care Professionals Council (HCPC) - in order to comply with governance in my profession. FM is the opposite - there is a lot of secrecy and little transparency. It is predominantly made up of male members. What could possibly go wrong when privileged men belonging to a secret group who are often in positions of power within the community (e.g. the police) can pay to do each other ‘favours’…

I can understand people questioning the organisation.

And this is basically this thread summed up, I was told by my dad, a friend of a friend, my ex boyfriends Uncles dogs boyfriend that the free masons are dodgy. No evidence whatsoever..

@Feelingathomenow You are ridiculous. Calling anyone who questions the FM nazis! You cannot be taken seriously at all.

Ah @Plastictrees which part of my post about Nazis and concentration camps do you find funny?

Still banging that drum is that all you have against freemasonry?
as I have said in the uk there are 3 grand lodge’s Ireland, Scotland and England each running their charity work different

A previous poster has repeatedly posted how the FM give money to their own people as if that is something unusual and shady. I'm pointing out that many organisations do that. The RCN being one. It's normal. She's not making the point she thinks she is.

There were Guardian reports back in 2018 about how there were senior polemen in the FMs and together they were blocking change to be less sexist/racist/homophobic etc.
There's been cases of high profile criminals being in the same lodge as again, senior policemen and information was being passed to the criminals. I don't think that's it's a coincidence the way our country was easily flooded with heroin. How ecstasy routes were stopped from the Netherlands, but flourished from Afghanistan etc. Then there's pedophiles, who seem to be untouchable. Somewhere there are powerful connections. There are obvious issues in making men powerful and well connected to the point their behaviour might be ignored/dismissed.

I think we need to be very careful when people start publicly sharing unsubstantiated views that align with the Nazi party. Dont you? Most people won’t find that “ridiculous”

Agree! My husband has fallen away from it now right enough. However I was at some great nights with them in the early days of our marriage. They actually did an awful lot for charities that no one knows about and still donate,food phone cards,toys and treats etc for our local districts. Although my husband no longer attends we still donate cash for the local food banks through my husbands Lodge. However ,when we had our daughter it became too costly and he began to attend fewer and fewer meetings and events.

Can you link to that article? Was it about accusations made by the ousted Police Federation boss who had just lost his 6 figure salary

People questioning this organisation does not make them nazis. You are absolutely desperate to stop people from having any critical discussion. Why? If you are a member of the Freemasons you are really painting them in a truly terrible light…