DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

It’s very easy to blame others for your own failures

Not at our local one you don’t
You turn up to a meeting, pick up a form, fill it out, job done

They even advertise on their website looking for members

Well the one I was president of was more selective than that

Their membership (old white men) are dying out and they are desperately seeking more. They have even started a TikTok account to attract younger members (comments on their videos that they don’t like get deleted…)..

Masons recently out of Uni getting partnership and associate positions straight away do not trump others in practice for years
Theyhave no experience, they have no working knowledge, all they have is their Masonic membership

If you’ve never seen it, if you are not in a profession affected by it it’s easy to make unenlightened comments.
When you have worked in a male dominated industry, as I have since the 80s, you see it all the time.

Your comment is insulting

Meeting a new boss who gives you ‘that’ handshake …. Not great . In the 80’s that meant as a female you were finished.
Time to move on.

Had a couple of dates with a guy who spent 80% of the time talking about the masons. Initially, it was interesting to hear about - I didn't know much about the modern set up and had never met a member who was open about it.

It emerged that he was less open about the fact he had a child and lived at home with his parents as his ten year old business wasn't successful enough to pay his own rent/mortgage. I felt like he was suckered into the masons because he really wanted to see positive changes in his life.

Not all of them, actually

Your comment could also potentially be seen as insulting to those Freemasons who do not act in the manner you appear to be suggesting is commonplace amongst them.

Well they wouldn’t be giving me ‘that handshake’ anyway as I’m not a man.
So I wouldn’t know immediately anyway but Architects tend to always know someone who knows someone, ( it’s a small world ) so yes eventually you realise it’s time to move on.

As I didn’t have ‘that handshake’ or ‘a penis’

If they aren’t yet qualified and are given much larger salaries or positions of authority then they are getting there because of their Masonic links with bosses.

See the 9:30 pm post today from a MN noting it happening in their school too.

Here’s another post by the wife of a Freemason
clearly stating the favoured position her dh had

You are using some limited experiences with specific individuals to judge an entire group of people.

You are also assuming they were promoted because of Masonic ties yet it could have been for a multitude of other reasons. Just because two facts are true eg. A) they have no experience and B) they are a freemason doesn’t make the two facts linked. They could well be, but they also might not be.

but even without freemasonary, different factors enable people to get positions of management or other roles etc, thats not a factor limited to freemasonary, but seems more of a general humanity factor

As the saying "causation does not equal correlation"

My husband is a Freemason and they mainly do charity work and a lot of this they do quietly. We are also in our 30s and my husband has been a member since he was 18. I don’t have time to go to many events with him so never a problem for me.

I’m female - the handshake was to tell me who’s boss ! Rather efficiently done really. No trace assassination.

It is actually a cult. I studied it in college.

by what indicators make it a cult ?

Not all assumptions
I’m more often being told

irrespective @soiltypes points out an important observation on correlation

My father was one and he was a self important bombastic arsehole as well as being a lying piece of shit. If he was welcomed with open arms, that tells me all I need to know about them.
Totally get why you have the ick OP.

your logic is flawed in the sense of he could of used a different personality with the freemasons vs in front of you, so one does not equal another etc

Mormons give something stupid like 40% of their income to the Church of LDS. Called Tithings I think. Bloody ridiculous

Deeply unlikely @Soiltypes. He found it practically impossible not to be a twat.

fair points