The amount of mess in my house makes me want to cry, cleaning it up constantly makes me want to cry

[ldnmm]

My kids, 2 and 4 are just constantly making a mess- constantly. It never stops.

I've been cleaning up constantly and whenever I turn around, there's a new mess somewhere. I just can't fucking hack it anymore.

I want to throw away all their toys and be done with it. I just can't take it anymore.

Make them tidy up after themselves you say? Yes I do that but it's just so consistent and there are so many things that I don't always have the energy to get them to tidy things away. There's just so many bits of bullshit toys all over the place that it becomes a huge ordeal to even tidy up properly and not just dump everything all messed up in buckets.

My husband is a bit shit at tidying up after himself as well and I literally cry because I can't take it anymore.

I cry when I am trying to stay on top of everything because I'm so exhausted and so frustrated. So yesterday my husband said, let's just leave it a bit- it doesn't make a difference as they make a mess so quickly anyway. So we left it a bit, but I'm just fuming today. I feel sick and frustrated.

It's just so fucking relentless and I don't know how to manage it better but I clearly can't just ' let it go ' as it drives me absolutely mad and I start being extremely frustrated. Chuck all the toys away ? They're never going to be able to tidy up every little thing after themselves like I need them to. Yes they'll tidy up at the end of the day etc but because they have so many toys and so many activities ( stickers, drawing, puzzles ) they like to take them out, play, then come back to it etc etc. so I can't see it working, without me having to be constantly on top of them and being exhausted by that too.

It's driving me mad though ! So I don't know what to do.

If there is too much out that they can no longer play learning to make space and stay safe is a skill. If we are taught to do it young we are more likely to accept doing it as tweens and teens who should be helping out not being lazy arses incapable of household chores. At what age do you think someone should have responsibility?

Our best friends had a professional nanny and the first thing she did was bag up 50% of the toys and put them away. She then rotated the toys around every 6 weeks. I thought this was genius!

First step - Stop buying toys.

Buying and giving toys does not equal love.

You have overwhelmed children, an overwhelmed house and an overwhelmed you.

It's not a “skill” to know that you need to put things away if you want space and for things to look tidy. Anyone with half a brain will have worked that out by the time they are tweens/teenagers/adults. Whether or not they actually do tidy will depend on how much they care about whether things are tidy and how much time resources they have.

If you’re not teaching your kids how to tidy up I have no qualms about saying that you’re failing them in that regard.

It is about learning to take responsibility for your possessions, take pride in your space and have respect for other people by not allowing your mess to impede on them, as well as about clearing the space to take on a new activity. My child has been capable of doing it with guidance since they were under one. And yeah, it is work for parents to teach this. Parenting is work, have you heard?

And I have no idea what the f disability has to do with anything. Any child with a disability needs to learn to tidy up within the scope of their ability same as any other child.

Parents who don’t teach their kids the basic skills of being in the world are the reason teachers and anyone else who has to deal with such kids despair.

My children are adults now so don't need parenting lessons thanks. FYI despite no tidying lessons as toddlers they are very tidy nowadays. Are yours adults?

I didn't say anything about whether disabled people can tidy so not sure why you keep mentioning that. Obviously it depends on the disability.

Storage footstools or ottomans are great. Or baskets with lids.

It’s more realistic to just open ottoman or basket and get toddler to help throw stuff in.
Everything possible has a lid in my house so it hides mess.

Otherwise baskets with no lids slide under sofa. That’s where I store the heavy brio.

Any ottoman or basket is only 1/2 full. If you try and ram too much into small
basket then it’s harder for small children to find stuff or re- tidy away

I have a constant bag for charity or bin for random things that accumulate like freebies from town fair or things he’s outgrown