To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

[darkmorning]

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

I would do it OP and not beat myself up (obviously would be paying it in to their accounts in January). I think you're having some mean replies actually.
I would also stop paying into their accounts every month, I get that you don't want to but even if you took a break for a year it wouldn't impact them much but you could pay that all onto your credit card debt

You responded the same to me.
We're all well aware of what we're saying.
You just don't want to hear it.

I have no idea why this is even continuing, to be honest.

Neither do we.
You've got the answer you originally wanted, no one's making you come back and respond.

And in turn, no one is making you post. You’re returning repeatedly to try to make me feel bad which is fine but it reflects more on you than me.

Use the money, put it back when you can. If you are saving monthly for the children but don't have any savings yourself then I would really think again about continuing to do that. You need some easily accessible savings and I would save in your name rather than theirs in 2025. Build a little emergency buffer for yourself and it will be less stress and benefit the whole family.

I've done it, many years ago now.

But we were in an impossible situation where DH lost his job just before Christmas, and our rent had been increased. It was either let a 3 and a 1 year old have money for things they didn't need, or keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.
We paid it back after DH sorted work out and neither had an idea.

Sometimes you have to do what is ultimately in their best interests and they've just got new things for Christmas anyway.

I think it’s perfectly fine to use it if you need to for essential things like food etc. You can then make an arrangement with yourself to pay it back into their ISAs at a rate you can afford like £10 per month. It’s more important that you can all eat and bills are paid. Don’t pay attention to the negative comments, do what you need to do to survive OP.

I used to borrow money from my children because they always got paid interest on top when i returned it

My mom needed to use mine & my sisters "gift money" when we were small , as times were hard. She did the right thing. I am glad she use it.

It sounds like you are really tying to sort out lots of things. It also sounds like you have done incredibly well given you were down in December paypacket. 🌻

Not everyone will understand what it is like being a little short ,or having a little debt but you are dealing with it .

My Mum used to ‘borrow’ Christmas and Birthday money from me…. and it would just be gone forever! There was a savings account she set up after my parents divorced with some of the divorce settlement from my Dad which was supposed to be made available to me at 18, however she found a way to get her hands on it when I was 15 and ‘borrowed’ all of that money too!

Please do not see your children’s money as your own…. or allow anyone to pay their money into your account!

My Mum would cope with the money she had… but as soon as an opportunity presented itself the excuses and false justification happened…. her final act was leaving me with the bill for her funeral…. so she literally never changed!

OP - please don’t be like that!

This used to happen to me quite a bit as a young child. When I came to understand it was happening it was impactful. I began to spend my money as soon as I got it as I knew it would be " borrowed " from me to pay for bus fares. etc. Please use your credit card till next pay day if you can. It's your childrens money and it's really not their responsibility to "tide you over" until next month.

I would Not say it’s stealing EVER don’t listen if someone has said it is , I think they are very wrong for saying this to op. Even if you have to do it over afew months. You probably used your money to make sure they had a good Christmas in the first place!!! I’m lucky not to ever of had to be in this position and would never say it’s stealing to make sure your kids are fed no matter the situation. Op do what you have to do to get you and your kids through the month and good luck to you xx

Very harsh , inheritance is not a right it is something you get if you are lucky.

I would not let my mom go without, I would happily help her.
It seems your situation is far different from the poster.

None of that post was about inheritance.

DM used to do this with mine, even though we weren’t skint. She just couldn’t be arsed to go to the cash point. I even buried it in the garden once and ended up not being able to find it again - I’m not entirely convinced that she didn’t dig it up herself!

I must have read it wrong then. I thought envbeckyc was talking about her moms money after a divorce settlement....inheritance may be the wrong word.

Wow, these responses! "You're living beyond your means ... you can't afford to socialise ... priorities! ... how will you cope next month without the tempting £100?"

This is a non-issue, if you're short after Christmas, as half the country is, and borrowing £100 is a better option for you than chancing the credit card then just do it. If you pay it back at the end of January then great, but honestly if it's February, March, whenever, it doesn't matter. As long as it's there by the time your kids turn 18 (which gives you about 15 years by my calculation) then all will be fine.

Pious Mumsnet at its’ finest. People in two decent salary households find themselves struggling at times for all manner of reasons and very often not due to wanton living beyond their means. Probably because they can’t stretch a chicken for a week though. Honestly, some of you are absolutely clueless.

It’s quite clear the op is getting no financial help from her dh and is therefore struggling with maternity leave/childcare on her own

given how much you put in their savings I wouldn’t think twice - February you can put 50 in each

it sounds like you have a plan and you will have more disposable income once the childcare costs reduce.

i’’ sorry you are in this situation and i hope you have support wrt your marriage

My parents often did this with our birthday money. We never got it all back.

It was needs must at the time for them (struggling with 4 kids, things got better) and they had no other option...but I would say absolutely not.

Thing is with this is once you do it it just gives you the ok to do it again. And again...even if you pay it all back I just don't think it's right.

You have another option. Use that. Take the credit card fill up the car do a shop whatever then put the card away. It's no different.

Not sure why you are bothering to ask people’s opinions. It seems you have already decided.

That’s really awful that they never paid it back.

It’s not your point - it is theirs. You should not be using it to tide you over.

If you children had not been given that money what would you have done?

I used to borrow money from my DS fairly often when he was in primary and i was working part time, though it was cash from his piggy bank and I always left an IOU. He had plenty in his puggy bank as my Dad had a tendency to slip him a fiver once or twice a week.

I was pretty broke for a few years, so needs must - if we needed milk and toilet paper, I didn't want to put it off till pay day and I didn't have a credit card, just a debit card, so could only spend money I had.

It's not as if you're spending the kids money on gambling or drugs, it's taking them to see their grandparents and feeding them, so I don't think it's awful to consider spending their money, as long as you put it into their account eventually.