To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

[darkmorning]

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

I’m asking MN about the title of the thread, which isn’t about broader financial advice @SunnyTealLeader

Now go have that mince pie.

You might not want it, but your circumstances as described here really suggest you need it. Your situation seems pretty fragile and you're now feeling that you need to take Christmas money from your children to cover essentials while having spent non-essential amounts on hosting guests and planning to spend more on travelling. Getting some help and advice about budgeting and managing debt could help you avoid this happening again and improve your family's financial security.

As I said before, I know.

I am Wrong, all I do is Wrong, all I’m planning to do is Wrong. I really don’t need MN to tell me this.

I do kind of regret starting the thread but all I will say is that I feel comfortable with the choices I’ve made, even if on paper they aren’t towing the line according to what you ‘should’ do, they are the choices I’ve made according to what I feel best about when I look in the mirror if you like.

Do that then! why waste time asking for permission from posters?

Thank you as I do think this is meant kindly but as with most things it’s more complex than that. I have a budget which I was and am strictly adhering to which got knocked off centre by my pay being a bit less than I anticipated: it was only by just over £100 but did mean that I was left with too much month.

I have only been back at work for five months, things are still being paid off, and while I am benefiting from some funded hours two in nursery is still expensive. This will ease somewhat this year and ease even more in two and a half years when both are at school!

I don't know why you bothered to start a thread.

On the one hand you say you don't want financial advice, on the other you're asking for advice on whether to borrow your kids' money.

You've drip fed pages about your finances and what a mess they are.
How you expect NOT to be given advice is rather odd.

Cant you make simple decision 'according to your morals and values'?

Do it OP. We once used DS’s savings to put towards a family holiday 🤷‍♀️ It was £1800 and it would have gone on a credit card otherwise. He had absolutely no idea about the savings and we paid it back over three years.

As I’ve said, reasonably politely I think, I was asking about ‘borrowing’ if you like the kids’ money. I was going to go with the consensus which was to do it but when I actually put the money into my bank account I couldn’t do it and transferred it over. So that’s one of those where it was most sensible to borrow their money but in the end I had to do what I felt most comfortable with.

I hope things improve soon. It's difficult with little ones and debt and getting back to work.

I’ve been trying not to drip feed to be honest but it is difficult as I’ve explained a few times that I don’t want to talk about my finances or marriage but people keep asking and it’s sometimes hard not to give away bits of information. So there is no intent to drip feed.

At no point have I said my finances are a mess - you have deduced that and quite a few other things that aren’t really accurate as well.

I fully expect to be given advice but I’m just pointing out that I’m not going to take it, so giving it and then getting worked up is pointless.

No if the money is being paid back in a month you don’t need a family discussion over £100.

The OP says she has a plan.

All you troglodytes piling on her and dissecting every part of her life is shocking.

Merry fcking Christmas all you hags. Enjoy your big piles of money and eat 💩.

Thank you

I’m not here to tell you that you’re wrong or to belittle you. You’ve made some choices, and I would hope that you’d chalk them up as learning experiences, and move on. Create a budget pay down plan. A monthly spending plan. A monthly savings plan (for YOU). An emergency fund for surprise car repairs, etc. A 2025 Christmas plan. Then you wouldn’t be chasing your tail, moving from one financial crisis to the next. You’re not displaying the, “I’ve learned from my choices and it’s time to put some serious plans in place,” attitude.

Surely you can see it doesn't make sense

To put away savings but have no money that you think of borrowing off the kids Xmas money or putting on a credit cards

Makes no financial sense

At no point have I said my finances are a mess - you have deduced that and quite a few other things that aren’t really accurate as well.

So does that mean you're still in denial?

Your finances appear to be a mess. If they are not then you've been exaggerating.

No savings (but 'other assets' - maybe you/your H own a property rental/ business assets or something?)
4 credit cards with outstanding debt
Unable to buy fuel and food this month.
Poor credit rating.

@TakeMeDancing - I already have, I really do have a plan and it has the children’s savings as part of this. Plus (gasp) some fun money too because the children do deserve to do some nice things, although I have cut back where I can to allow me to pay the credit card debt quickly. And thank you.

I don’t think it’s ’one financial crisis to the next’ at all, it’s a unique set of circumstances and I haven’t gone into it here because I don’t want to be identified and because everyone would just tell me what I did was wrong anyway! However, many people with preschool children find things tough financially. It just is. Unless we send them to private school, it’s unlikely we’ll have this much strain on us financially until they’re at university.