To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

[darkmorning]

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

This all day long. You need to protect your family and have a decent buffer. Failing to do so puts you at risk of losing your home.

Some of the judgemental posts are incredible on here! OP is asking if she should temporarily borrow her preschool children's money for a few weeks until she gets paid, she's not asking if she should sell the kids to a travelling circus!
If some of the self righteous posters here berating you for not having a savings pot of your own etc have never been in a situation where you're struggling sometimes because of a blip in cash flow then good for them because they're very fortunate . Or liars.
Yes, you maybe should rethink putting £100 away for your children every month if it then leaves you short but that's up to you.
I do worry that there's maybe an issue with your partner and that's why you don't want to discuss him (fair enough) but I hope you can see what you maybe need to do there too.
Go to see the in-laws. Have a lovely couple of days away and all the best for 2025

Please see my post from 9:23

I spent much of my adult life being in debt, and juggling money until pay day, but I would never have borrowed money intended for my daughter, and would have always used my credit card to get through the month instead if I had reached my overdraft limit. Would it be an option to increase your overdraft if you are worried about using a credit card?

Wow pure hysteria @darkmorning - why are you asking on Mumsnet? Borrow the savings money, pay it back next month.

But you know you need to do something about your crappy relationship that you can't even ask your dp for help....

I’d say absolutely do it if it’s going to avoid you going into credit card debt. MN is full of high earners who have no idea what it’s like for some people in the COL crisis

Honestly I wouldn’t think twice about this.. December is super expensive. I’m not in any debt except for mortgage and I usually put around £500 into savings per month but I’ve found myself short of cash at the moment. If I had £100 in my account for the kids of course I’d put off paying it for a week or 2. They don’t need it til they are grown up. I’ll easily be able to pay it back in January where there are no presents to buy or meals out etc

What a bunch of nosy people digging into your finances. You have said you will pay it back, I understand feeling guilty, I would too but it’s not money they will be spending in the next few weeks so don’t stress about it.

Don't get a credit card whatever you do, especially if you are not great at managing money. The last thing your kids need is a constantly worried/snappy mum because she's in debt. Use the kid's Christmas money, it's not a massive amount and they are too young to know, money won't mean anything to them at their age and you have literally years to pay it back with interest. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's an easy time of year to overspend, especially if you are entertaining. Just budget better in future.

Dave Ramsey needs to be followed with a grain of salt….he advises against putting into employer-matched pension funds until AFTER all debt is paid. That’s insanity—it’s free money. Whatever I put into my pension, my employer matches it x2…if I put in 1%, they put in 2%; my 2% is matched with 4%….it maxes out at my 6% and their 12%…that’s 18% of my salary in total, of which 12% isn’t coming from me. 12% of free money year on year. I would be stupid not to take that 12%, but that’s exactly what Dave wants people in debt to do.

You need to reconsider what you are putting into your children's savings and prioritise your credit card bills.

You should pay the highest interest cards off as quickly as possible and then the next and so on. Your children shouldn't have savings from your money when you don't enough have £100 rainy day money.

I hope 2025 is the year you reorganise your finances.

@darkmorning I think you should do what you need to do. I dont consider it "stealing". I imagine like most parents you use all your money to the benefit of your children. You provide everything for them and make sacrifices yourself so they don't go without. You aren't going and treating yourself to something you're putting food in you cupboard and fuel in the car. Pay the money back when you can but don't beat yourself up over it.

I mean he also tithes 10% to the church and is a republican, but like all critical thinkers I take what I like and leave the rest!

His plan is solid, once you’ve anglicised it.

December is a uniquely expensive month for most people tbf.

Agreed; he has some valid points, but I wouldn’t recommend that anyone blindly follow his advice.

Absolutely OP .As long as the children get it back at some stage ,which will happen eventually and before they need it then I cannot see a problem. HNRTFT so not sure what their ages are .

I would use the money to top up your income - personally would use it for food and items the kids really need that you are short of.
its a tough time money wise.
pay it off when you can - it’s being put to good use now to help them.
Hope 2025 is a good year.

Definitely @TakeMeDancing nobody talks enough about pensions - everyone is going to be old and unable to work one day.

I am sorry, but I don’t see the problem with this. I have to admit that in the 70s, when the children were young, DH and I, on occasion, had to use DCs present money to feed the family. (No food banks then). They have had it back several times over! Deposits for both to buy houses, etc. I don’t feel guilty. We weren’t spending it on ourselves.

I don't see the issue if you can guarantee you'll pay it back. I've been in the position you're in now when my kids were small, borrowed some Christmas money from them, paid it back on payday, job done.

How old are they?
You've said the money is going into a savings account. So won't they get to spend it?
As for replacing the money on payday, I think that's ok. Needs must, and all that.

I'm so sorry OP because it sounds as if you're living in a very difficult marriage (by refusing to talk about it and referring to 'your real world' not MN world.

It's very odd that you've not mentioned any JOINT responsibility for all of this.
eg- no family car? Just YOUR car that needs fuel to go to his PIL?

I sincerely hope you're not suffering emotional or financial abuse. Please call Women's Aid if you are.

Look- the money you're putting in the kids' ISAs.
It makes no sense.

You're paying a huge amount of interest on your CCs. Wasting money.
You need to clear debt first. This is BASIC.

If you want you give your kids some nest egg when they are adults, there are many different ways to do this. You can save up to £20K pa in your own ISAs that may have better interest rates. Then you can hand over what you can afford to your kids when they are older- like going to uni or buying a car.

I'm trying to be helpful here and kind but naturally it may hit a nerve because you're really struggling.

If the only reason you're putting money into a kids' Isa so you can't touch it- can you see that's very muddled thinking and shows you do have a serious issue with money? Something has made you spend more than you can afford, presumably for a long time. you do need help to figure out why. Is your H withholding money? Is he drinking , gambling or taking drugs?

Something's going on behind all of this.
If you don't want to share here, talk to someone in RL.

@JMSA- op says they are 'pre-school' ( so under 5.)

True. And the kids will get all of the money on their 18th. To do with what they wish—a trip with friends to the Canaries? Sure. It’s their money.

You pay them £50 a month anyway.

If you said you didn't pay this month because you got them Christmas presents but your PIL did, no one would bat an eyelid.

So I'd look at it like that. £100 has gone into the accounts in December. It's your own contribution you need to make up.

From a family point of view though, I would worry that you have no cushion.

Of course it's good to save for kids but the wisdom of locking it away when you have no access to emergency funds is debatable.

Is January time for a review of family finances and getting yourself in a better position? I'd assume the credit cards are an issue so getting them cleared would help you all. I think you know yourself better than internet strangers and I wouldn't use a credit card based on what you've said about past behaviour.