To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

[darkmorning]

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

I wouldn’t have a problem with this - you are not buying luxuries for yourself, you are buying food, petrol etc which the kids benefit from anyway. I really don’t know why people on here get so het up about doing this!

Use credit card and then address your financial situation.

^ I agree.

It makes no sense to be putting money into kids' savings accounts before you clear credit card debt or build up a buffer of emergency money.

I think this is a more important question than whether to borrow the kids' Christmas money. If you build up a buffer you won't be in this situation again.

I would stop paying into the kids' savings accounts, build up a buffer first of at least one month's income, then clear the credit card debt. Then build up a bigger buffer. Then start saving for the kids.

I know it would be a long process, but that's surely a better use of the £100 a month you are saving for them.

(And I'd use their present money this month rather than get a credit card. You have been giving them £100 a month anyway.)

Personally I wouldn’t, I think it’s a slippery slope. Most people could do with an extra £100 for something but this is your kid’s money, not yours. I could understand if you were on the bones of your arse but if you’re not I definitely wouldn’t.

OP it doesn't make any financial sense to be saving money for the kids when you have credit cards debts that will be accruing much more debt through interest than your kids accounts are making in interest.

It sounds like you have had issues with credit card use if you have had four and don't trust yourself not to start over spending on them again. Don't put yourself in that position! Use the kids money from their grand parents and then prioritise paying off the credit cards. This is better for everyone in your family.

She has money in her account though.

Just make sure you pay it back at the end of the month.

But using the credit card is even more of a slippery slope if she has had issues with overspending on the 4!!! she has. Better to do the slightly immoral thing than risk ending up in all sorts of debt.

Oh you’re fine. The kids will be completely unaffected by this as you will pay it back.. but will be impacted by a stressed parent who is struggling to put fuel in the car
Dint let the judgement of Mumsnet make you feel guilty- we don’t all live in the same world

Come over to the money board and get some advice on your budget, how to budget, as many people do it successfully but in different styles.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/budgeting1/work-out-your-budget/

this is a link to a good budget tool - it lets you input all your bills etc but yearly monthly etc and then works everything out for you on a monthly basis

Fuel is much more expensive in some areas though. We pay well above the national average where we live, and we have no choice.

OP your priority in life is to give you kids a stable home.
Maybe you're in a housing assoc. accommodation, but if you're renting privately, that's not secure.

Surely, rather than paying rent you need to clear your debt, get a better credit rating and look long term and perhaps buy a home?

We never gave our kids monthly money to save. They saved money given as gifts, and then later on when they had weekend jobs at 16.

One thing I saved was child benefit. We didn't touch it (didn't need to) so when they were at uni we had plenty of savings to help with their living costs then.

You sound resigned to living in a situation where your husband is part of the issue.

It's very clear that either he is part of the problem, or he doesn't trust you with money so withholds it, even when it's for his kids' benefit.

Why aren't you discussing this as a couple?

Unless she drives a Ferrari, I can't see a car requiring £70 of fuel to go 120-ish miles. I get over 50mpg with mine even around town.

I can’t see any problem with this at all as long as you pay it back.

Go for it. No point sitting waiting for pay day when there is £100 you need and can repay.

You seem to be sure you can "re-pay the children" quickly, and given the fact your already have CC debt, I would definitely say to use the cash if you need to.

But also please do consider pausing with the children's monthly savings until you've cleared your cards. Make that a priority so you're not wasting money on interest, then you can go back to saving.

Cut yourself some slack and borrow the money, from the way you talk about the children's savings you're going to prioritise paying them back. The way you talk about credit card use, it's the last thing you should do.
Short / medium term, stop saving into the children's accounts and prioritise the credit card debt, £50 × 2 x12 months is £1200 of credit card debt reduction this time next year and think of all the interest you'll save. You've got time to save for the children's future, although personally I wouldn't put it in their accounts (unless you're trying to ring fence it from the mysterious DH)
I've put some money in children's savings accounts, they'll get a small amount when they turn 18 but most of it is being saved in mine and DHs name so it's safe for a major life event (wedding / house deposit / uni) if they need it. That way it's there when they need it but they cant squander it, and being totally honest I'd find it hard to forgive them pissing money up the wall that I'd scrimped and saved for although I know full well that's what most teenagers would do.
As others have said this is an expensive time with 2 in nursery, I earn well but 2 sets of nursery fees is crippling, it was almost half my salary each month and we do dip into savings to pay the bills some months, but know we can start to save again when both are in school.

In your opinion.

Morally, and potentially even legally, it is not.

Of course it's fine. I can't believe the sanctimonious posts on here. The children will benefit more from spending time with family at Christmas than from having £50 in their accounts for a few weeks longer than otherwise. It's absolutely ridiculous to think otherwise, or to recommend using a credit card when OP is already struggling to pay off debts on those. OP, If you can't pay them back by January it won't be the end of the world either and I do think you should stop saving for them until the debts are paid off.

My parents have always given me a lump sum for Christmas but give it a couple of weeks before and tell me to spend it how I like. Over the years there have been times when I used it all to get our Christmas treats rather than buying toys or giving the children money. Not recently but when I needed to that was what I did. I think if people want to save for children they should do it themselves or ask for the account details and transfer it directly rather than expecting parents to be the middle men.

Good for you.

I've rarely got over 40mpg with my last 3 cars, and never around town. None of them have been Ferraris either.

You can't use the kids' money, it's theft, so just put that in their accounts and cancel their ongoing DD for their accounts from January because you can't afford it. If you can't afford the petrol then sorry PIL but we'll visit in February or you can visit us. Sounds like you have a lot of credit card debt you're trying to pay off on 3 cards, so chop all of those up. Can you sell the car to pay off the cards and use a bus or train? Think of the saving in petrol, insurance, new tires, MOT etc etc. £100 for petrol is eye watering; we got return train fares to come away over xmas £34 for the 3 of us (long route); 33% off from the railcard but also cheaper because they are bought early. Easiest to tighten your belts for a short time buying frugally knowing it's only a couple of months to pay off debt; make cheap meals from fresh ingredients like pancakes, baked potatoes, pasta, tinned tomatoes etc. Once you've cut right back to get yourself solvent again, you can start to plan where you actually want to spend money; a small DD for your own savings first and then the kids, then savings for trips away to PIL etc. Wouldn't that feel better than wasting the kids' gift money?

It's not that much of a stretch given what she's said and not said. I truly hope I'm wrong. I just wanted to let her know that there is support there if she needs and wants it.

It sounds to me like both OP and her DH need educating in how to organise their finances.

I suspect he’s just as terrible with money as she is, if not worse.

You say to get through January, but it's still December, so just trying to understand when you'll be paid again - do you mean you've already had December pay and spent it, so presumably you're not talking end of the month?
I also don't understand how you will buy food etc. for 2 adults and 2 children with £30.
I think from reading some of the other posts on here, that the suggestion is it isn't a case of that's all the family have to last, but that's all the OP has access to, which obviously raises lots of questions that presumably is what the OP isn't willing to discuss.

So instead of borrowing a few quid from preschoolers who have no notion of it, you GENUINELY think a better and more workable option here is to sell her car, take trains and eat more frugally?

I mean, despite the fact you're assuming that OP can get to work breezily on abundant public transport, you do know that's an absolutely bonkers overreaction?

Theft, my arse.