To not want to go to the pub on Boxing Day every year?

[Fluffyandfestive]

My in laws having a family tradition where the whole family goes to the pub on Boxing Day for a few hours.

This starts at about 11 and everyone has to be there on time.

The men get as pissed as possible and all the women go back to one of the houses at about 3pm and prep a buffet while the men stay in the pub a while longer.

Now that we have dc I don't want to participate in this tradition. In laws live around a 45 minute drive away. The dc want to stay home and play with their toys. It's boring. The men get drunk and act stupid.

Aibu to not want to go?

I wouldn't fancy it.

Not at all! Send DH if he's insisting on going and have a nice time at home with the dc.

Yanbu. I wouldn’t want to either. Obviously incredibly unequal division of labour /“fun” between men and women too. Time to start a new tradition of staying at home with the kids.

I like a pub and this kind of tradition but in these circumstances,.no YANBU. I detest the whole idea of the men being left to get pissed and the women having to go and get food ready for when they deign to stagger home. I wouldn't participate in that bit anyway but with kids in tow, absolutely not. Stay at home with the kids and your DH can do what he likes.

Good God no this sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Stay at home and have fun with the kids with their new toys.

Can you stay at home with the children during the day and then meet them for the buffet?

Your husband can go and you stay at home and then decide if you'll participate to the buffet. Or alternate with your husband who gets to stay and get pissed and Chichester one will go eith the women to make the lunch for big strong men

Would I fuck be doing this.

My DP does something very similar on Xmas eve with all the men in his family so I can only sympathise with you. It's crap, and the woman are left to pick up the shit

Not at all, why should you have to drag your DC to the pub so their Dad can get drunk, especially since you're then expected to go to your In laws and make tea whilst the men stay at the pub? If it's no fun for you or your DC I'd be staying at home

It’s a tradition I would of taken part in for all of one year tbh

yanbu - going forward pop over to drop dh off and say hi with the dc then go back home to enjoy a chilled day with your dc
your dh can sort himself out

Absolutely not.

Pre kids I would've enjoyed getting pissed and now would be happy to go for a couple but the idea of men getting drunk while women work can get to fuck. It's an awful thing for kids to witness too - the gender roles, not a few beers.

My thoughts exactly.

Not on this planet or any other would I be being sent off to “prep a buffet” like a good little wife. In addition this specific set up sounds tremendously boring for the children.

Tell DH you're in as long as he takes food prep role.

In laws used to do this xmas Day.
Men went to the pub while the women stayed and cooked (and got sloshed on gin). I am not keen on pubs so I didn't mind but once we had DC I told DH it wasn't happening. He wasn't bothered to be fair.

No stay at home, however you could turn up when it's about lunch time so he can pay for lunch unless you really don't want to go.
A whole day in the pub is a bit much but it could also be sociable for a while.

The best thing about Scotland is that the children wouldn’t be allowed in so this couldn’t happen.

I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t have a problem with saying no to this. I know my DH wouldn’t want to do this as well and tbh if he would - I would think lesser of him.

This whole set up sounds so shit for the kids.
What kid wants to sit in the pub for hours rather than being at home playing with new toys?

So previously I have let myself be forced into this ridiculous facade, but this year I said enough is enough.

Last year I said that I'd either stay in the pub with dh or he could come back and help with the dc and the buffet. To be fair dh was fine about it but I had snide remarks from fil and dh's uncles about dh being under the thumb.

I've offered to go just for the food but they'd not good enough apparently.

Dh doesn't want to go without us all but in laws are rather upset as us spoiling their family tradition.

No, daytime piss-up not my scene, I'd swerve it.