To not want to go to the pub on Boxing Day every year?

[Fluffyandfestive]

My in laws having a family tradition where the whole family goes to the pub on Boxing Day for a few hours.

This starts at about 11 and everyone has to be there on time.

The men get as pissed as possible and all the women go back to one of the houses at about 3pm and prep a buffet while the men stay in the pub a while longer.

Now that we have dc I don't want to participate in this tradition. In laws live around a 45 minute drive away. The dc want to stay home and play with their toys. It's boring. The men get drunk and act stupid.

Aibu to not want to go?

“…but I had snide remarks from fil and dh's uncles about dh being under the thumb.”

Ugh. Can’t believe there are still dinosaurs like this, and women who pander to it. I’m glad you’re breaking the mould op. Good for you. Sexist attitudes like this should not be tolerated, especially by parents bringing up a new generation.

That is a lot of alcohol. People can’t neck that much as a one off. To drink that much you need to be used to drinking a lot frequently. Sound like a clan of alcoholics

I’m glad your DH stayed home with you and your children. I hope he starts preferring it that way and sees enjoying his family is more important than pleasing his relatives.

Good for you op. And good for your dh. It all sounds terribly dull. And so boring and unsafe for the kids if everyone is drinking.

Exh's family were like this. Pretty much a group of enablers/alcoholics. I put my foot down and refused to go out drinking with them once the children were born , exh continued to drink excessively.

They're out of their mind if they expect your kids to put up with that sort of experience for bloody hours. Glad you backed away. Here's to more of the same in 2025!

My STBXH and his parents, brother and SIL used to fuck off to the pub every Christmas day at midday until the dinner was ready at about 2.30 ... this continued when we had DC, so I used to be left with 2 toddlers on Christmas morning, and expected to prepare Christmas dinner for 8 on my own while they indulged the true love of their lives ... alcohol.
Wankers.

I wouldn’t have agreed to do that with one toddler, let alone two, no matter what was ‘expected’ of me!

To be honest, I've spent the last 6 months in therapy trying to work out how and why I lost the ability to stand up for myself for so long. Turns out I was being emotionally abused for years without even realising, broken down until I got to the point where I thought this was a normal way for him to behave and I was wrong for having an issue with it.

That was my thought, too.

That is a huge amount of alcohol.
I'm glad you made a stand this year @Fluffyandfestive and that your dh backed you.

The demands of his family throughout the year are preposterous. Hopefully this will give you the confidence to say no more often.

Are you ever allowed to see your side of the family?

I wouldn't go tbh...just saying....our tradition here is we buy n cook beef, b-i-l buys turkey and then it's cook veg..Christmas this year will be strained..other b-i-l (mid 50s)has been arrested for dealing class As. Dad died in february. It's his mums birthday and wedding anniversary on the 23rd December.
Hmmm could I come to yours?

WTF, how the hell do men justify staying and getting drunk while the women prep food, in 2024!