How much easier my life would be if I just sent my DD to the local state primary

[abgah]

At the moment she's at a private primary school.

The local state primary in my village is within walking distance.. it has an ofsted ' good ' rating.

The class size is of course 30 children per class. In DDs private primary, there are 15 children per class.

We made the decision to send her to private school because we thought she'd massively benefit from smaller class size and will enjoy better facilities.

But it's such a stress to send her there, mainly because it's 30 minutes away due to traffic really. I leave the house before 8 and I'm not back until after 9 in the mornings and the same in the evenings. It's absolutely exhausting.

I have recently started a job working from the office and getting back to pick her up is very stressful. My every day is massively stressful. I pay someone to drop her off on the mornings I go to work in the office but I do all the pickups.

It's just a huge stress but she's really thriving and loves her school so much. This is not even considering the huge financial burden it is on us to send her there.

I just keep going past the local primary school and thinking, is this going to be something I look back on and regret ? It's such a huge stress on us. I hope it will be worth it.

She goes to one of the through schools and we chose it for that reason, so she can stay on for secondary school more easily.

Are any parents in similar positions or have been in similar positions ? We really are just trying to do the best for her, no matter what the sacrifice. Like all parents are.

Your thoughts on the local school seem to be based purely on the ofsted report. Have you visited the school and had a look around, spoken with staff? Do you have friends with children who go there who could tell you what it's like? At the moment it could either be somewhere you'd never countenance if you knew more about it, or a school you think your daughter would love. I don't think you know enough about it to make an informed decision. If you know you like it, then all your other thoughts are important. If you like it and they have room, you could ask to see whether she could spend a day there to see how she settles.

It is not an abnormal commute for a private primary ime. But if you are finding it a lot is moving closer an option?

Ours was a 20 min drive when our daughter started. We've since moved closer. But we use a nanny for holiday and wrap around care anyway, so it is not us doing the journey a lot of the time. As your younger one is only two and has a place too you have another 16 years of this. Which is a lot if you hate it!

Eh?

Was this the situation when you decided to have kids? My parents have a 'traditional' 🤢 marriage where he had a big important job and she stayed at home raising the kids (and doing literally everything) till my younger sister started school. But even then, my dad made sure he was at home to see us before bedtime and all weekend.

Not criticising your decision to have him largely absent, just wondering if you'd thought things through - you are where you are in part because of that decision.

@Bumblebeestiltskin it's just worked out like that for now as he has his own business. It's long to explain. But it just is what it is. He makes 4 times as much as I do and works really hard. It's just one of those things. He's working towards being able to step away more from things. We are both doing our best. Nothing to do with ' traditional ' non traditional, did I know or did I not know how it was going to pan out. The business is the way it is now and he's working towards being able to step back but it provides our family with a lot of security.

I would definitely take her out. The level of stress this is causing you isn't worth it. Your health will improve with this stressor removed and that's good for the whole family.

It's hard when both parents are working so much, so the time you gain back will be so worth it.

Loo round the state primary and see what you think. If you can cope with fees and commute, stick with the private especially if it goes up to 13.

Wow. That was uncalled for in response to a perfectly valid point.

The post said “better facilities” not “better families”. Specsavers is that way…

I see the poster who jumped to chippy conclusions just edited it rather than admit here mistake …

Wow so you're thinking about moving your daughter from a school she's thriving at and loves because it causes you a bit of hassle doing the school run during term time?!

Read that back and you'll see how ridiculous, entitled and downright selfish you're being.

Screenshot of post before editing to make it look like I was replying to something completely different…

This must be a joke

You are lucky you have options. Disclaimer not in UK.
The 11+ examsthat everyone talks about seem to be an entrance exam to a "grammar" school.
In Australia that is called a selective school and there are very few. My son gets up at 6 to get dressed and have breakfast and then I get up at 6.30 to make sure he is sorted for breakfast and lunch ( we take our own here unless you want to buy from the canteen) found his books, jacket blah bla. You all know what its like. Then DH gets up at 7 and drives him 15 minutes to the bus stop. The bus takes about an hour so he is at school at roughly 8.20.
Personally I don't believe in private schools , but this is a free government school so I try not to feel too bad.
Sorry for ramble, but people do a lot for their childrens education, in different ways.
Personally OP I'd move to the local state Primary. Before you know it they will be walking together. How lovely.
Private Primary IME is hard on the kids socially There's no "hey Billy ( who lives down the road) come to mine after school. It's mum talking to mum and one doing the pick up from school and one collecting from the friends house.
And everyone bangs on about sport and expensive schools/
I think you will find that most Olympians were not privately educated ( I think it's about 1/3 :which leaves the whole "sport on a Saturday is mandatory" as a complete wank.
Academically - and don't quote me on this because the stats seem to be almost non-existent but from what I could find US public ( that's public like the rest of the world not UK, i.e so government funded school ) are the largest group of Nobel Laureates.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Hey Happy New Year everyone. Personally I hope it is better than 2024 as it has been utter crapola.

Maybe apologise as the post I commented on mentioned neither families or facilities. Private education obviously doesn’t enhance manners.

Yes it did. Before the poster edited it.

I commented on the edited version. And said what I’d commented on. Still, you’re determined to be right - even though you’re not. 🤷‍♀️

You want me to apologise for your mistake? OK, sure. I’m sorry you didn’t know to click the edited button when you came across a post that seemingly made no sense.

🙄

Hmm it's maybe a waste of money unless you are in a grammar school area. Then it could be money well spent! Definitely not worth financial stress though, only do it if you're comfortably off.

There's some horrible people on mn!

There certainly are. It makes me so grateful I don’t actually know any of them.

Never really thought that you learn so much at primary that the private/state thing would make a significant difference. If it’s the kind of private school where you start learning German and the violin at 7, maybe. But the primary curriculum is pretty much the 3rs and you don’t need to spend serious money for her to get that. Save your money and put it towards private secondary, where it will really make a difference.

Never really thought that you learn so much at primary that the private/state thing would make a significant difference

What, like learning to read, small, insignificant things like that?

If the neighborhood school is highly rated, why are you wasting time and money on a private school? Be kind to yourself.