Anyone else feel like an absolute slave today...Christmas day

[Whatslife]

Made breakfast, Xmas lunch, dinner, got kids to bed, tidied up, washed up. All whilst he laid on the sofa. And he's been short tempered and grumpy with the kids all day. I'd already decorated all the house, wrapped all the presents, booked all the Christmas stuff and organised school/club presents/outfits etc.

Now he's gone to bed early as 'he didn't get to watch what he wanted on TV'.

No!
I wouldn't stand for it and neither should you.

I'm sorry you're a slave, but you don't have to be! I hope you can find the strength to change.

He is a lazy selfish man but unless there’s some backstory of abuse which means you can’t speak up - you’re a martyr . Why didn’t you ask him to chip in when you saw he was shirking his duties?

LMAO you what?? 🤣

Ffs always one. You know damn well what op means, don't be a dick.

Yes a little bit but I’m very guilty of also pushing people away and trying to do everything myself so even when I am offered help I don’t always take it. I think it’s times like Christmas that make us realise how much we actually do to try and make Christmas special for everyone else. I’d maybe insist that next year he helps more. This year I did a lot of tasks to delegate to DH and the teens which they were more than happy to do

My DH just does stuff.

We planned and bought DC gifts together and split the wrapping.

I made breakfast, he washed up. He started peeling sprouts this morning then I joined in and we prepped lunch together. I cleared table and tidied, he washed up. I prepped pudding and evening snacks, he cleared them up. We shared playing with / caring for DC.

He made me various drinks throughout the day too.

Didn't ask him to do a thing.

I don't understand why you wouldn't tell him to get off his lazy arse and help with the cooking/clearing up/putting kids to bed? I just wouldn't do it all. If he refuses to do his fair share I would definitely LTB.

That's crap, tell him he's cooking dinner next year.
It's been the opposite here, DH always does all the cooking whilst I fall asleep in front of the telly stuffing my face with chocolates 😁
In my defence though I do do all the washing and tidying up.

Idiot.

My DH is the total opposite of this: hardworking, good at housework, does washing, cooking, washing up, car cleaning, general housework, financial stuff... he's a gem. I'm sure I'd probably fall apart a bit if it was just me. And obviously he's a good dad to the 3 DC.

He lived on his own for 18 years so he became pretty self sufficient. Get your useless partner to live on his own for 18 weeks/months and he'll soon shape up lol 😆 Or, just LTB 😅

Yep. Made brunch. Cleaned up, cooked late lunch for 18 people. Then everyone left and I had a mountain of dishes and all the leftovers to put away.
i asked dh to put the potatoes in our 2nd oven and he said yeh ok but I just want to relax then 🙄🙄. He then got the potatoes out and put them straight onto the table on the very obviously plastic Xmas table cloth. Destroyed the table cloth, the ceramic tray and some of the varnish on the table.

he did not at one point during the entire day ask if he could do anything to help out and actually said several times he just wanted to ‘kick back and relax’. He also didn’t get me a single gift. I’m going out today to buy myself some new sheets and doona at the sales.

Why are you with him?! Get rid in the hopes of a better Christmas next year.

To answer your question...do I ask DH to help?

No, I don't.

We host the wider family and over the years we have just settled on roles that play to our strengths and broadly share the load.

So we both put up the decorations. We wrap our respective family presents. I do the food shopping and cooking, he buys all the drinks and is responsible for keeping people topped up (booze and non booze options). He is also designated bin man for all the wrapping paper 😂.

When the children were still young, he and grandparents would entertain them whilst I'm cooking and later put them to bed with a story whilst I put my feet up after cooking.

He then does dishwasher duty after the meal and any washing up after I've done the cooking.

Boxing Day I get a cup of tea in bed and he will cook a full Scottish breakfast for the family staying over. I will dishwasher/wash that up.

I simply wouldn't put up with him expecting me to slave all day, nor would he expect me to do so and vice versa.

I honestly don't understand why so many women put up with behaviour like this, especially when they are so bloody ungrateful and grumpy on top of being selfish pricks.

You deserve better OP.

Forgot to add he cleans the house Xmas eve before the guests arrive whilst I'm doing food prep for Xmas day.

So bathrooms, fresh bedding, hoovering/dusting etc

Just leave.
Next year's Christmas will be lovely. I promise.

Oh FF's sake!

We've been married 25 years and my lovely husband bought me wonderful, thoughtful Christmas gifts, wrapped them himself. We shared the planning and buying of ds's main presents and he bought his own individual gift for ds. He then prepped, cooked and served the entire Christmas dinner before taking my mum home. I washed up, we tidied round a bit then we relaxed together this evening watching Christmas tv.

My work colleague has just ejected her lazy husband and she's much better for it. Some men never progress from wanting mothers and nurse maids. They are big fat man babies. Get rid!

Ridiculous comment

You settled op, he would have shown this lazy ungrateful behaviour in the past. You deserve better but none of us can tell you to leave, you will realise in your own time.

Why do you put up with behaviour like this

Yup, it’s been full on the last few weeks and especially since 7am or so and I’m only just going to bed. But….and it’s a huge but, my DH has had my back the whole time. I couldn’t have done it all without him, and he couldn’t have done it without me.

Edited to add: my 16 year old son has also contributed to the running of the day. He’s needed prompted at times, but he’s learning so that in the future he’s not the dickhead lying on the sofa!

I always wonder what those who constantly lecture others about the evils of the British Empire (which I acknowledge, but can't do much about now), are doing to protest about, fight against and eradicate modern slavery, which is a massive problem today, in the UK and all over the world, but doesn't get nearly as much attention.
However, this is completely irrelevant to this thread, but would be an interesting subject for another time/place.

No I cooked
Dh washed pots.
Had a great day.
Tomorrow out for lunch.