Did my parents buy too much for DC?

[Christmasgrumpster]

My parents had quite a hard upbringing without much but now have enough money to treat DGC. They bought my DS:

a nice fleece jumper
Small play set cost approx £20
Large floor jigsaw
Coat (showed to me first to check it was ok and needed, it is)
Bike helmet (we asked for and need)
Little pets hamster in ball
3 L/s tops

all clothes M&S just to gauge pricing

DH’s mum bought DS a lovely hoodie and trousers (expensive brand like Jojo maman Bebe) and a lovely special book with activity attached.

DH had a rant at me that my parents buy too much and ruin the specialness of Christmas. I had a lovely day but feel so deflated now 😞). Fwiw, DS is 3 and not really arsed who bought him what. I’m not bothered which grandparents buy more and very grateful for the beautiful gifts his parents chose.

fwiw DH’s parents have double the number of DGC that mine have to buy for so that may affect things.

YABU - that’s far too many gifts from a grandparent and they should be spoken to and told to buy less

YANBU - let them go for it, it’s lovely to be spoiled by grandparents.

Doesn’t sound close to excessive to me!

but even if it was it is their money to spend how they wish!

My in laws buy more for DC than mine. I think what mine get is the appropriate amount. I reckon in laws go a bit OTT to be honest, but our children are their only GC and I get why they'd want to make a fuss of them

I think it’s too much and devalues the other gifts by overwhelming the child. Two presents would be just fine. And, if they want to spoil him, a single big impact gift would be so much more memorable.

I think your ‘D’H is being a bit of a dick.
Your parents sound lovely and have bought things that will be useful and are needed as well.

At 3 I doubt that clothes really register as presents. So that halves the amount of presents. And it’s your parents money, if that are happy then that is lovely and your DH should be grateful!

It doesn't sound like too much to me. I think the "specialness of Christmas" would only be ruined if you bought your kids tons of stuff throughout the year. The gifts from Christmas would be sort of "meh " if you got whatever you wanted all the time.

Golly your DH sounds a delight!

My in laws are significantly more generous than my own parents (to be honest, they often spend more than we do!). It’s just the way it goes. Neither me nor my partner would ever complain!

That’s about what we’d buy if we only had one. Clothes don’t count.

I doubt he was overwhelmed. It's hardly the whole of the Smyths catalogue.

YANBU. Sounds fine to me.

When I was growing up my grandparents would get their gc a similar amount. My stepdad always used to be in a bad mood about how much we were given. He still goes on about it every Christmas now THIRTY FIVE YEARS LATER. Can only imagine it stems from jealousy.

Sounds lovely. He'd lose his mind if he saw what my SIL gets for our DC She just loves gift-giving, it's her love language. I'd never tell her to stop as it brings her joy and the kids love it, so why would I?

are you the OP’s DH?
it doesn’t sound at all excessive and your husband is a grinch

I was very much in your parents shoes. I had little, struggled to keep a roof over our heads, did what I could for Xmas.

Fast forward 50+ years. Financially I'd describe myself as very comfortable. I cannot get out and about unaided so I spend little money. What I do have I enjoy spending on family and friends. I cannot tell you just how much pleasure it gives me to be able, at last, "spoil" the ones I love.

And I don't actually think it's possible to spoil anyone one of them.

I'd tell your husband it's mean to try to limit your parents joy. As long as there are no strings attached (like, well I bought you/them such and such, now they should do... Whatever, for me) and they liaise with you so there's no one up man shut going on, I think what your parents are doing is fine.

At that age, I wouldn't generally count clothes as a playing gift as we pick them up as and when needed so that cuts it down a lot! 3 gifts sounds fine and could quite easily be one parcel and so look like one present.

My parents and my mil give more than us to our son, doesn't take anything away from any presents. Clothes don't register if you are little. What your son got sounds reasonable.

Taking out the clothes and helmet it's three items...it's not too much

Overwhelmed by 4 presents and some clothes? OK.

It doesn’t sound remotely excessive. My DP’s just spent a lot more than that on my DCs. I was happy as it meant that some of the more expensive items on their lists were taken care of.

I agree. 3yo doesn't give a flying monkey about the clothes 🙄.My 3yo on his birthday got a beautiful set of clothes from M&S in a gift bag. He literally opened the bag, dug through it and asked where is the present🤣😅. It was funny and embarrassing at the same time! I had to gently explain to him that the clothes are the present 😁.
Your husband should chill. Some grandparents don't even remember about their grandchildren so he should be happy that both sides of your family care! Especially that some of the presents are practical ones and every day items. I suspect there is a bit of jealousy going on that your parents bought much more than his?

This is a non problem!

Sounds fine to me.

Sounds like most the stuff is stuff they're buying so you don't have to? Clothes, helmet are more things you'd be buying any way so he needs to wind his neck in and be grateful or provide for his child himself. Is he going to go coat shopping?

Most of it sounds useful, probably some weird jealousy as his bought less. Both bought a fine amount.

Thank you for all the responses. Yes, a lot of it is more to help us than dc!