Did my parents buy too much for DC?

[Christmasgrumpster]

My parents had quite a hard upbringing without much but now have enough money to treat DGC. They bought my DS:

a nice fleece jumper
Small play set cost approx £20
Large floor jigsaw
Coat (showed to me first to check it was ok and needed, it is)
Bike helmet (we asked for and need)
Little pets hamster in ball
3 L/s tops

all clothes M&S just to gauge pricing

DH’s mum bought DS a lovely hoodie and trousers (expensive brand like Jojo maman Bebe) and a lovely special book with activity attached.

DH had a rant at me that my parents buy too much and ruin the specialness of Christmas. I had a lovely day but feel so deflated now 😞). Fwiw, DS is 3 and not really arsed who bought him what. I’m not bothered which grandparents buy more and very grateful for the beautiful gifts his parents chose.

fwiw DH’s parents have double the number of DGC that mine have to buy for so that may affect things.

YABU - that’s far too many gifts from a grandparent and they should be spoken to and told to buy less

YANBU - let them go for it, it’s lovely to be spoiled by grandparents.

Good job you don't have my parents.... He needs to get a grip.

Can I please be one of your children?

I do feel a bit miffed when grandparents buy our kids as much as we do. Kind of feel like we are the parents now so we are Santa and it rubs it in that they have so much more disposable income than we do.

Doesn't seem excessive.
Seems about right really. Couple toys and a few clothes.

Agree with PP, clothes don't register as presents to such young children.

If it bothers you that they spend a lot, open a child saver account and ask them to contribute to that if they like. My DS's GPs gave him money every birthday and Christmas, I rounded it up when I paid it in and he has a substantial amount of savings now. (He is very difficult to buy for so it was lot easier for everyone to do this once he was out of the pre-school years)

I honestly think that both sets of parents bought thoughtful presents and neither spent a ridiculous amount though.

My gosh, I'm the same but the other way round. My parents are more wealthy, often give a small token present then money for bank account for when they're older. My in laws, had times of struggling financially in their life, go a bit crazy with bags of presents, more than yours, including lots of annoying big plastic flashy toys from charity shops. But I wouldn't say it spoiled any specialness of Christmas. Kids love it. I reckon my mum had similar with us getting lots of presents from grandparents and she didn't like it so toned it down

this made me smile! He would if we needed to but I usually just grab one on Vinted so it’s nice to have something new for once (not that DS is bothered!).

I thought you were going to say they spent 500 quid, no that’s not too much at all, clothes are not a present to a 3 year old so take half of them off (more presents for you not having to purchase) so he’s had a few inexpensive toys, no that’s not spoiling

Your DH is being silly.

A jumper, a coat, 3 long sleeve tops and a cycle helmet - all practical and needed items that you have been saved from the cost of. And I imagine this was part of their intention.

He sounds a miserable fool. Imagine having that gift thrown back in your face.

There we go then. They've saved you two the bother and got him something new. It's nice to put your kid in something new every so often. Is he jealous or something?

It’s not just about these 9 presents. If parents, the other grandparents, and maybe 3 aunts/uncles all do the same, then the child has 50+ presents to open - before you even start on wider family and friends. Pretty tricky for a specially chosen gift to feel special in amongst 50 others - even if half of them are clothes.

I like the idea of directing them towards a savings account or premium bonds. Or suggesting a higher value gift, in lieu of the many little presents.

Not excessive at all, very similar to my in laws presents for my dc. They are being very kind and probably put a lot of thought into the gifts. Your DH is being a grumpy Scrooge.

Not excessive at all, I thought you were going to say it was a PS5, designer trainers, multiple toys or something. DS will only really consider the toys presents and there's 3 fairly normal toys there, nothing extravagant about it at all.

Sounds fine, you shouldn't expect/demand that much but it certainly not an insane amount from loving grandparents. A nice mix and useful.

Your parents are free to buy as they wish just as his are... its not a competition.

YANBU

I'm sorry but what aunt/uncle, cousins, great relations or friends by 9 presents... its standard from GRANDPARENT not everyone.

Also most people do not get gifts from reems of people. In fact many peoples kids do not get anything from anyone else.

sounds fine to me, not excessive at all.

my in-laws used to spend £20/30 on each grandchild.

my mum this year has spent close to £100 on each grandchild.

neither is wrong, each to their own

It is a bit annoying when a GP buys loads of gifts at Christmas and then your kid is present fatigued and it becomes just about the GP. They are doing it more for themselves than the kid. They should realise that others are buying gifts for him too and it's too much.

I’m not seeing a problem but do you think your DH is being transactional and is somehow embarrassed that your parents got more ?

It doesn’t matter and as you say, your DC is young and probably doesn’t care at all.

I’d try to see what’s behind it all and nip it in the bud.

its really about what YOU think. Not your ‘D’H. This is you ‘D’H’s hang up. Don’t make it yours.

My parents (well really mother) have always gone overboard at Christmas. My husband who grew up getting one gift for Christmas finds that challenging.
His parents meanwhile buy the kids one often utterly random cheap gift.

My parents have toned it down and send money now though both my kids still got five little presents each from them! The other grandparents continue with random cheap gifts. The kids love both grandparents equally and don't care who gets what.

I don't think it matters or spoils Christmas. DH and I compromise on our own gifts (kids get two gifts from us, a stocking and a gift from Santa) and let the grandparents do what they will.

Don't think they actually bought that much really. The clothes shouldn't count at this age. 'D'H is being an idiot.

Doesn't sound like a lot at all tbh

Not excessive in the slightest. Actually, I wonder how much you got your sc if your dh thinks that list is loads. very odd