Did my parents buy too much for DC?

[Christmasgrumpster]

My parents had quite a hard upbringing without much but now have enough money to treat DGC. They bought my DS:

a nice fleece jumper
Small play set cost approx £20
Large floor jigsaw
Coat (showed to me first to check it was ok and needed, it is)
Bike helmet (we asked for and need)
Little pets hamster in ball
3 L/s tops

all clothes M&S just to gauge pricing

DH’s mum bought DS a lovely hoodie and trousers (expensive brand like Jojo maman Bebe) and a lovely special book with activity attached.

DH had a rant at me that my parents buy too much and ruin the specialness of Christmas. I had a lovely day but feel so deflated now 😞). Fwiw, DS is 3 and not really arsed who bought him what. I’m not bothered which grandparents buy more and very grateful for the beautiful gifts his parents chose.

fwiw DH’s parents have double the number of DGC that mine have to buy for so that may affect things.

YABU - that’s far too many gifts from a grandparent and they should be spoken to and told to buy less

YANBU - let them go for it, it’s lovely to be spoiled by grandparents.

Your husband is odd ! What your parents bought doesn’t sound that much, I actually bought my niece more than that.

He sounds very petty and pathetic, surely he should be grateful there is family involved and buying stuff your son needs.

That doesn’t seem an excessive amount. As long as they treat all of their DGC equally, they can spend as they please.

MIL has been know to buy DS loads of stuff, and other DGC very little, or given a token amount of money as an obvious afterthought, DH is her golden child. That was excruciating, and I did ask her to buy less on our DS, as clearly I couldn’t ask her to spend more on them.

Doesnt sound excessive to me at all. Your DH is maybe a little jealous or embarrassed that his own parents dont spend that much. At the end of the day its not your parents problem, and they shouldnt have to diminish what they buy for everyone elses sake.
My mum goes way overboard at Christmas. She probably got 3x what yours did. It does annoy me abit because we dont have alot of space and they really dont need all that. But im still grateful for her wanting to spoil them.
What I tend to do is put away half the stuff and save it for a later date. So they can play with x amount of presents for a few weeks / months, then we will have a switch up and il get the rest out. Stops them from getting overwhelmed and not knowing what to play with, they just have a few things out and when they seem to have outplayed it then il change it over. Its exciting for them to get new toys again.

I have 3 DGC, girls 17 & 8 (siblings) and boy 13.
17 year old had more presents physically than the other 2 but they were all stocking fillers as she has her driving test in January and has asked for money towards car insurance but I am not giving her it until she has passed her test.
The other 2 had about £150 each spent on them but only two presents + 2 stocking fillers.
17 year old had 8 stocking fillers but they were small car accessories and make up bits. (She got a car for her birthday)

I think DH upsetting you over something so trivial (and more sounds like insecurity if he’s the one bringing it up) is more a killer of Christmas joy than grandparents buying thoughtful and handy gifts tbh…

He’s maybe feeling embarrassed by the discrepancy between the two sets? Growing up I had one set of grandparents who had 11 grandkids and another who had 2 (me and my brother), I was aware of the financial situations of both also and as a teen mentioned things I loved that I knew weren’t expensive and affordable for both. Both sets always got us gifts we loved based on what they could afford. I didn’t care that there was a difference in what they spent, I loved them all and still use some of those gifts today (over 10 years after my last grandparent died). If you bring your kids up properly, they won’t care if one set buys them a car and the other car mats, they’ll love and appreciate what they receive because the giver has put thought into the gift, not because of what it is.

As most people have said, clothes don't count. If anything they were gifts to you and DH, saving you money.

And yes, he's the one that spoiled Christmas, not them.

I think each family does it their way and dh needs to learn that. In our family we do £15 gifts for everyone. My sister's in laws are v different and just buy for the kids, usually spend around £50 and give cash too (they are loaded!). I think my patents at one point felt a bit bad but actually my niece loves (prefers!) Christmas with our family and loves our family. Dh needs to be secure about what his parents give to his kids overall, maybe it's certain values, like hard work or responsibility or listening well, empathy, compassion. Family is not just about presents.

Sounds ok to me, not at all excessive.

My parents spend approx £200 each per child (3) + 4 adults. About 10 presents each.

ILs £50, but there is 11 grandchildren, plus 8 adults. This year the kids got 1 present something they wanted and the balance in cash.