Xmas day morning - AIBU here?

[HennyPenny42]

Staying at my parents’ house for Christmas with dp and dd (3), my sister is also here.
Sat around on Xmas Eve chatting about the order of the day tomorrow. I assume my dd will wake early (6ish) and I’m happy for her to have her stocking when she wakes up. I said ‘oh, she’ll probably have everyone up as she’ll be excited and want to show you all what she’s got’. Just got a groan from df, and pointed silence from dm and dsis said ‘she can show me stuff but I’m not getting up’. So if they have their way it’ll be me and dp getting up with dd to do stocking and them emerging 2/3 hours later.
AIBU to think that this is slightly mean spirited on Christmas Day?
They would never dream of letting us having a lie in by taking dd in the morning normally (obviously wouldn’t want that in Xmas day as I want to be there!) and refuse to get up before 8 when we come to stay, even if we’re up for ages before then. My dp’s mum would be so excited to get up with us and dd on Christmas morning and open her stocking. Am I making a bit deal out of nothing? I just feel a bit disappointed by my family but maybe I need to accept that other people just aren’t going to be as interested/excited about my kid as I would like! What would your Xmas morning routine be with your wider family?

Your kids, you get up. Noone else has to get up or do whatever they dont want to do. I hate my own kids getting me up early,and I certainly wouldnt want anyone elses kids getting me up, family or not. So personally i think they are fine to say that, it is their christmas day too to spend how they like it.

Kindly, I never understood what's the problem with getting up early and the obsession with lie-ins.
Probably goes back to my upbringing.

I wouldn’t want to be harassed at 6am by someone else’s kid either

My PIL are like this. It really does put me off going to stay with them.

Typically what happens when we stay at theirs or they stay at ours (not Christmas specific) is - our kids wake up at 6am. They get up at 9, waft around in their dressing gowns drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, at about 10/10:30, they take long leisurely showers and appear fully dressed at 11:30 and say "oh, weren't we supposed to go out for the day? Why are you getting lunch ready?" "Well, the children have been awake for almost 6 hours.."

And then at the end of a visit "gosh we have hardly seen the kids, we'll miss them" "maybe you could have adjusted your routine a tiny tiny bit so as not to miss half of their waking time?!!!"

I don't expect them to get up at 6am, though, it would be lovely to have a lie in once in a blue moon when we host them in particular and do everything for them. But even the tiniest bit of adjusting their routine would be nice.

What? 6am?! No way. 8 am onwards.

6am is the middle of the sodding night as far as I'm concerned.

Same here

Ditto

I think it goes both ways. I started getting up early naturally after becoming a parent but I can still appreciate that other people may not want to.

The issue is expecting the rest of the family to do it when it’s not an habit for them.

Precious First Born syndrome.

Nope I don't expect anyone to get up pre 8 am and once our son was over 10 no one got up before 9.30

YABU, sorry.

I don't think any is BU here - 6am is early and Christmas Day is always a long, busy day, especially if you are hosting.

I'm lucky that DS (now 9) never woke up super early, always around 8 from when he was little. He's excited but not a morning person

Even my own children... no. We told them not before 7:30am today. They're 4 and 6. They had no problem with that. We all got up at 7:30am with them. 6am, not a chance.

Wow, a lot of replies - sorry I haven’t replied sooner, my own silly fault for posting on Christmas Eve night and so haven’t had much spare time today!

Thanks for the different perspectives - and I realise I was perhaps being a tad precious! Anyway, dd got up at 7am in the end so it wasn’t so bad.

A few questions to try and address:
Parents are in their 60s and in good health.
Although I realise they’ve done all the shopping and mental tasks associated with hosting, on the day we all split task equally and I made half the dinner bits. I have hosted them before (albeit pre kid, so I’m not oblivious to what hosting involves).
I guess my disappointment was more to do with the fact that no one was excited to see my dd find that Santa had been (on reading comments though realise that maybe this was a stretch to expect that!) rather than needing their help or anything like that.

I think the other thing I have taken is that I must be a morning person as getting up at 6/7 really isn’t very painful for me - but if your body clock is wired differently then fair enough - I can see I’m in a minority!

Someone said they though I’d probably never stayed over at mil’s on Xmas Eve - but we did last year, and she was absolutely buzzing to be involved in every little bit no matter what the hour so maybe my expectations had been skewed by that.
I also my have a lot of friends whose grandparents are very hands on and doting as I always find if you tel anyone you’re going to visit your parents, people often say things like: ‘enjoy the lie-ins’, and so I definitely have felt a little sad that my parents aren’t like that - but it sounds like I have an unique set of friends and that my experience is actually more normal.

And yes my dd is my world, but it probably helps to realise she isn’t the centre of the universe for anyone else now and again so thanks again for all the comments!
Marry Christmas all!

Thanks for the update OP I hope you all had a lovely day.

My parents were very doting grandparents, but would never have done many of the things you mention. They wouldn't have given us a lie in for example and looked after our DCs. Mainly because it just wouldn't have occured to them and it wouldn't have occured to me to expect it either. All family dynamic are different though aren't they.

Sane here. It's never occurred to me to ask or expect a lie in from grandparents.

I always find if you tel anyone you’re going to visit your parents, people often say things like: ‘enjoy the lie-ins’

I have literally never heard anyone say that-i think your friends must be unusual

I know lots of people too whose parents will get up with the kids. And similarly I have friends and colleagues say things like "oh it'll be great staying with the parents/PIL, get some rest and relax" when the reality with my PIL especially is not like that

I would consider spending more Christmas mornings especially either at home or with your MIL who sounds a lot more engaged

I wouldn't expect anyone else to get up with my kids unless they expressly wanted to - we've got my dad staying with us and I was actually pleased he stayed in bed a while after the kids got up so we got to enjoy them opening stockings and have a bit of time just the 4 of us.

I'm a little surprised that many people would be happy to let their parents get up so that they could lie in. I've always felt that my parents already did all that with us when we were young. It's their turn for the lie in now.

Well expectations have been well and truly managed by posting here haha! 🤦🏻‍♀️
Should teach me not to compare! I don’t know if I would have expected the offer of the odd lie in from parents if it hadn’t felt like that’s what everyone else’s parents were doing, plus mil being absolutely doting on dd and constantly offering to help however she can - but I’m now getting that that isn’t something that is normal for grandparents to offer up! Lesson learnt!

Mine don't offer but if they did offer once in a while - I would be grateful but I don't see it as such an enormous deal. They are late 60s in good health, retired and get plenty of rest. Once a year waking up at 6am doesn't seem so extraordinary.

Doting on grandchildren and offering help is absolutely normal OP, I guess everyone's ideas of what that entails will differ? Being a grandparent and a parent is different; I feel that the parenting bits should be left to parents.

And just for clarity - I was thinking more along the lines of a twice a year treat - rather than anything regular. But I can see that even that most people think is a ridiculous ask - which is fair enough!