Will Dh wake up in time

[Themostwonderfultimeoftheyea]

He’s really pissing me off

As usual I’ve done every single thing for Christmas
It’s our normal thing that if we’re at our house on Christmas eve, I go to bed with dd..Christmas stories etc and fall asleep. Dh then brings all the presents downstairs, sets them up, eats the mince pie and carrot, drinks the milk and so on.
Dd fast asleep for ages, I couldn’t hear Dh milling about at all, trying not to nod off as so tired. So i creep downstairs and he’s fast asleep on the sofa. I woke him up to remind him (he sometimes falls asleep on the sofa until the morning and dd goes down)
I reminded him to put them out, because if he doesn’t wake up and she comes down, she’ll obviously be devastated, I also ate half the bloody mince pie, drank the milk etc. He sat up
half asleep and said he would. Ive come back up to bed and still can’t hear any moving about. I cannot relax and fall asleep until I know he’s done it, just cannot rely on him at all, If I go down and wake him up, he’ll probably be angry as in ‘I told you i’d do it’ but what if he doesn’t wake up
Shall I just bloody well do that also?

I wouldn’t have been relying on him to do it, especially if he’s known to fall asleep.

OP some of the comments on here on concerning. why should it all fall on you? yes it may not take long but it’s the lack of trying or care from DH. he seemingly doesn’t care that your girl may wake up to no presents under the tree. you’ve done it all and he can’t do this small thing for you. definitely worth assessing after christmas as to whether this continues but if nothing else, he needs reminding of his responsibilities as a parent.

Just do it then go to sleep

Scottish here, 30s and I always put out milk, cookies and a carrot for Rudolph when I was a kid. Just done the same for my baby's first Christmas lol.

My dp is like this. Absolutely useless. Have to give clear instructions and watch him do everything in front of me otherwise it doesn't get done. Now I'm middle aged I'm really resentful of it. They don't change and the burden will always fall on you unfortunately. It would be nice to have a break.

Merry Christmas OP!

I am not presuming to criticise your parenting choices first off, so please don't think I am. But I did want to just make an observation or two, that might be something you might reflect on (or you might immediately dismiss - I could be totally wrong).

Even just reading your posts, I found quite stressful. I sense that you have a way that you want/need things to happen. It's quite precise and worked out. It requires you husband's input to work properly, and you seem really quite stressed and unhappy about the risk of it falling apart, due to your husband not behaving as you feel you need him to.

Now, maybe this is just because it's Christmas. A lot of people have an idea of their perfect Christmas, and the risk/possibility of it not working out, can actually become a real source of stress for people.

And maybe it's not just Christmas - I sensed from the level of frustration and stress in your posts, that maybe there is quite a lot of stuff you feel you need to get right/have a certain way, in order for things to work as you want them to in your family.

But really, even if things did happen differently, if nobody ate the pie, if the presents went out a bit later, whatever....

Everything would actually be ok.

Just something to think about. Maybe. I'm a massive control freak myself, and trying to see when I am doing that and stop doing it, is actually a really important piece of inner work that I am doing, which I hope will make me much happier in the long term.

OR, I am totally wrong, and your husband's a selfish dick?

One more thing (sorry) - I see co-sleeping is very important to you, which is of course totally valid..... But does the way you do it mean that your bed time has to be the same as that of a four year old, every night? If so, the impact of that on your quality of life, and your relationship must be huge. Having a fulfilling sex life, for example, must be extraordinarily difficult in these circumstances - how do you manage it?

Is co-sleeping as important to your husband, as it is to you?

Anyway, feel free to dismiss all this as the ramblings of a nosey old cow. I'm great at sorting other people's problems - if only I could apply the same good judgement to my own elaborate mess of a life.....

And sincerely, merry Christmas! X

Because she’s already done 99.9% of Christmas and it was his only job.

What a palava/palaver about not a lot.

Please refer to my other thread 😅

Case in point .....

We left a bottle of Stout for our Santa

On a more mature reflection I'm amazed at my Mam's non insistence that it should have been Whiskey 😆

We always had milk and a sandwich which, funnily enough was always a filling Dad enjoyed! (this would be his supper) Over 60 years ago mind you! Scottish here too….oh! And a carrot of course.

Have grace for her lazy dick of a husband who has done nothing at all for anyone, yet will take half the credit for Christmas?

Good grief, some of the responses here are beyond ridiculous. Like this one .

I’m Scottish and have always done milk 🤷‍♀️

Here my 4 year old knows that santa isn't real- she tells me he is just like the gruffalo. Also tells us Mummy and Daddy play santa to be kind as santa is a lovely idea (and talks a little bit of Saint nick). So we wouldn't have the same issue. Again here stockings may come from santa but presents dont- otherwise how can you explain the disparity in what some children get. Mine knows we pay for it....

Regarding which presents Father Christmas brings, I always thought that the main attraction (e.g. the bike) was kept a secret and delivered by the big fella, but the other presents were from Mum, Dad, aunties, grandparents.
My uncle fondly recalls riding my BMX to my great grandma's house on Christmas Eve 1985, for later transfer to our house when I was asleep 🤣

Whatever I fancy!

My DD’s are 18 and 22. For 22 years I’ve done everything presents and shopping wise. DP has no idea what we’ve bought them until presents are opened. Oh and he has never got up before 9am on Xmas day, I used to stuff the DD’s stockings with enough to keep them occupied when they were little until grumpy daddy woke up.
On the plus side, he does do all the cooking.
YANBU, but I couldn’t ignore it and would get up to make sure it’s all done.

Maybe she’s hoping tonight is not the night he shows her, without any doubt what a useless turd he is and how little he cares about their child, family and her

You have bigger issues than putting out the Xmas gifts if your DP does fuck all to help you in general.

However you have made a rod for your own back with how you do presents- footprints from Santa?? Who can be arsed

Name change fail?

🤣🤣🤣
can’t be that smart, or she’d know it’s you not Santa who delivers the presents

I'm not the op if you actually read my earlier posts on this thread it's quite obvious