Mil opened presents with toddler while I was at work

[LeChatNoirv]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable or not here, so could do with some advice!

Mil brought her Christmas gifts to my toddler today while I’m at work and DH was at home. She then opened a few (not all) with her. I just feel a bit gutted as these were her first Christmas gifts to open this year and I missed it. Toddler hasn’t opened presents since her first birthday and I really wanted to see that excitement.

DH says I’m overreacting as I’ll see my daughter opening presents tomorrow anyway. Who is unreasonable?

Will MIL be there tomorrow, or is today the only day she is seeing DD?

I understand why you're upset and disappointed but to be honest I don't think I'd get worked up over this. The excitement tomorrow will be ten times more and granny just got a little snapshot. You'll be there doing the proper present opening in the morning.

YABVU.

Your DH is right. Your toddler will be just as excited tomorrow, and for years to come, so there was nothing wrong with MIL opening a couple of her own gifts with her today.

If your MIL won't be with you for Christmas day, it was natural for her to want to see your toddler opening the presents from her today.

You'll still see your dc open the presents from you and from Father Christmas tomorrow.

We can't be there for every special moment in our children's lives.
YBU

Was she still there when you got home? What did you say/do when you realised?

I think you need to focus on this being about your DD and not you really, as long as she's happy that's the main thing surely.

Well if you are telling your dd to believe in Father Christmas and that he brings the presents I’d have been cross. If she wanted to see your dd open presents that should be done after Xmas day!

I would just let this one go and move on. It’s not worth getting upset over. Tomorrow you will see her open presents.

This is one to take a deep breath over and adjust your perspective. The magical bit at that age is coming down on Christmas morning and finding out you’ve been left gifts that have appeared overnight just like everyone said they would.

sadly the old dude with the beard gets the credit for a while but you honestly haven’t missed a milestone at all. I always think it’s nice for the giver to experience the reaction of their gift. Grandmas presents still aren’t going to be as exciting as santas.

Yabu, the presents were from her not you. The good thing is your toddler will have got the hang of it tomorrow!

It depends, we don't open presents until Christmas Day or after so if that's the case I'd be upset but otherwise no, it's her gifts to your child, not ones you bought or anything. Next time, tell your husband to record it if you want!

Why did she do it today?

A toddler will be equally as excited by the presents tomorrow and granny presumably wanted to see her open the ones she’d bought which is entirely reasonable . Pick your arguments , this is not one to be concerned about .

YABU. They weren't your presents and you'll get to see her open her ones from you tomorrow. Makes no difference to your Christmas day unless you choose to let it. Don't fixate on the inconsequential.

Pick your battles. Is Christmas Eve more important to your MIL than Christmas Day? I know a few cultures where Christmas Eve is the main event.

I don't think it is an issue though I get why it has caught you by surprise.

You will see your DD opening plenty of presents starting at cock's fart tomorrow morning. That will be a lot more magical, and exhausting too.

@LeChatNoirv I would be getting her told!!!! she should not have done that!

It is possible to believe in father Christmas but also to know that family also bring presents. That's what I did with my children and it's what I did as a child. That way children can acknowledge and thank people who have given them presents. Father Christmas brings the stocking.

Totally fine for toddler to open presents from mil.

There's going to be a whole lots more tomorrow

YABU. Your MIL has her own relationship with your child. Let them enjoy it without interfering .

Why would Santa be bringing the presents from MIL?

I'm with you OP.

Why could she do it AFTER Christmas?

Clearly it being Christmas day didn't matter at all so it was just to rush in first while you weren't even their, honestly that kind of passive aggressive shit bugs me and of course you DH doesn't care because its not him being pushed out.

I thought you were going to say MIL had opened all toddlers presents with them while you were at work. But your husband is right you are really, really overreacting.

I’ve no idea what the OP tells her dd but some people say all presents are from father Xmas.

Not me, because I wanted dd to say thank you to the right people and not have unrealistic expectations but i definitely over the years have seen threads on here where this doesn’t happen.

Thanks for the replies

I should have added that mil is here tomorrow morning, which is the whole reason I was upset 🤦‍♀️. So she would’ve seen daughter open the gifts anyway.

BUT I did have an inkling I was being unreasonable, so thanks for giving my head a wobble 😂