Mil opened presents with toddler while I was at work

[LeChatNoirv]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable or not here, so could do with some advice!

Mil brought her Christmas gifts to my toddler today while I’m at work and DH was at home. She then opened a few (not all) with her. I just feel a bit gutted as these were her first Christmas gifts to open this year and I missed it. Toddler hasn’t opened presents since her first birthday and I really wanted to see that excitement.

DH says I’m overreacting as I’ll see my daughter opening presents tomorrow anyway. Who is unreasonable?

I'm think if DMILis there tomorrow then I think it was a bit off but you could tell your DH in private that you'd prefer all of the presents on Christmas Day in future.

Well if you are telling your dd to believe in Father Christmas and that he brings the presents I’d have been cross

I think the LO in question is one so would he very, very advanced if they ciukd insert and the concept of Father Christmas?

Most families seem to do a few presents from Santa and then the rest from daily and friends which would get around this problem anyway.

Father Christmas doesn't bring ALL the presents, only some of them.

The OP is being unreasonable but fuck me you're a delight aren't you.

I think your overreacting, I thought you were going to say she opened gifts you bought for your DD in your absence but since it's the gifts she brought, yeah it wouldn't have been nice for her to wait but it's not the end of the world.

Wow who hurt you today? There are better ways to make your point, you don't have to be so nasty.

Good grief how nasty, there really is no need for that reply.

Either she thought it was helpful to spread out the presents so tomorrow isn't overwhelming, or she did it deliberately because she doesn't care about your feelings. It depends completely on your relationship.

It's nicer to assume she thought it was helpful, so your DD can focus on opening presents with mummy tomorrow.

I wouldn't like it. I don't see why she needed to open the presents today when she is there tomorrow. Did she need her presents to be first? To be fair when they are little they get bored after a while of opening presents and the excitement fades a bit. So I would have wanted to see her first presents being unwrapped regardless of who they were wrong. Would I make a fuss no, but I would still be upset and a bit miffed.

YANBU! She should’ve waited.

I think it’s good to let kids have presents over a few days rather than having all the excitement at once. Sounds like you have a very loved DD & everyone once a piece of it which is lovely.

In the same vein I halted DC's from opening more of their presents at PIL's when MIL had to nip to the kitchen to put something in the oven. She wanted to see the present opening and as it only happens twice a year, once for Christmas and once at birthdays I knew it meant a lot to her. It didn't matter to me if they were presents from other family members, MIL was lovely and so I stopped the gift opening to wait for her.

If your MIL is usually nice then I would let it slide but your Dh shouldn't let you feel bad for feeling what you are feeling. Personally Christmas morning has always been just me, Dh and the children, then we go to PIL's where the children open gifts from that side of the family then we go to my side of the family and the children open gifts there too.

I think you are very generous having guests be there overnight into Christmas morning.

Hmm I think you are not being unreasonable....this is her first Christmas isn't it? So wasn't fair for her to steal that 'first' from you.

Given this update…why on Earth is she giving presents on Christmas Eve? Unless you are a wildly different culture, aren’t presents for Christmas Day? Not a good precedent to set with a young child.
Although no doubt she will have a lot to open tomorrow

That's ridiculous then. She's done it spitefully

If MIL and DC were opening gifts that MIL brought, I see absolutely no problem with it. This is between MIL and DC and YABU to try to try to make it all about you. However, if MIL was having DC open gifts from other people, she's overstepping and you have every right to be upset.

I would be annoyed too.

DH needs to have a word with her.

…. And it’s Christmas MIL bingo. I’m sure there’ll be more incidences of MIL behaving appallingly and stealing those precious moments.

If your MIL is coming tomorrow then YANBU. Why couldn’t she wait?!

Her dh was there. You know other parent? So obviously he didn't have a problem with it, and you know as her other parent he can also make decisions.

Getting her told? What does that even mean.

Our kids can open gifts when ever they are given them by the person giving them. Shock horror it could even be earlier in December.

And since Santa comes on Christmas day I couldn't care when anyone else who has been kind enough to buy them a present gives it to them. Unless she gave her something she knew she was already getting tomorrow I would have thanked her and got on with it.

Maybe she thought you might not want a shit load more presents overwhelming her with all her other stuff.

Bit odd that MIL gave her gifts to her grandchild today when she will also be seeing the grandchild tomorrow and could hand them to her then and she could open them after she had opened her Santa presents. That way MIL would be able to clarify they were from her and not from Santa (something that matters a lot to many people who gift presents).

But it isn't worth getting hot and bothered about.

YABU little ones are easily overwhelmed with all the gifts, so spreading them out is good. Hopefully she only opened the ones MIL had brought with her.

I think it's reasonable to be a bit miffed. There's no reason she couldn't have waited until you were there to see it, too. I'm sure DC will be just as excited about Christmas morning (or whenever you open gifts), but I understand being disappointed that you missed that first gift of the season experience.

Might as well start opening them on the 10th of December then..

If your MIL is there in the morning then you are YADNBU!!! So rude of her.
Why couldn’t she wait until Christmas Day like everyone else ?
The least she could have done was ask if it would be ok with you.