Mil opened presents with toddler while I was at work

[LeChatNoirv]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable or not here, so could do with some advice!

Mil brought her Christmas gifts to my toddler today while I’m at work and DH was at home. She then opened a few (not all) with her. I just feel a bit gutted as these were her first Christmas gifts to open this year and I missed it. Toddler hasn’t opened presents since her first birthday and I really wanted to see that excitement.

DH says I’m overreacting as I’ll see my daughter opening presents tomorrow anyway. Who is unreasonable?

I don't think it worth getting worked up about - your child other parent was present and okay with it. Perhaps it a special moment father, daughter and grandmother. The present were from grandmother and not you.

Personally, I'd have absolutely no problem with that. If someone delivered a gift on Dec 10 and wanted the recipient to open it immediately, while they were there with them, why not? Is it really that important for the child to open every gift at the same time?

I thought she'd opened gifts you'd prepared!!!

Once my husband did that and I let rip, he has never done it since! I mean the cheek of it!

It is if that's the family's tradition

You aren't being unreasonable, she should have waited. It was rude and thoughtless/unkind IMO.

They're family and have their own relationship outside of you. Just let them be, it clearly was a fun moment for them together.

YANBU in that case! What was the rush?? I suspect a bit of one-up man ship here OP. But just let it go and maybe don’t invite her Xmas morning next year…

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable op. It's not her place to decide when your dd opens presents - whether or not it might be a good idea to spread the excitement.

Yes your dh/her son was there and has a say. But so should you.

I might be a bit biased though because my MIL had form for overstepping the mark.

I let my children open gifts as they receive them generally. A friend came to visit last weekend and left a Xmas gift for them and I let them open it when she was there. You will still be there on Xmas day it doesn’t take anything away from that.

That’s not right at all. Your DH needs to make sure it doesn’t happen again. She’ll be hijacking birthdays next. If she wasn’t with you on Christmas then fair enough, also if she asked then fair enough. But Xmas presents get opened together on Xmas!

I'm with you on this one OP. I think it's off. I don't think I'd lay all the blame at your MILs door though. Had you and DH discussed this previously?

I think your being unreasonable and it was only a few had she opened them all that would have been different.

I can understand the annoyance and in a way its taken something away from you like first time opening Christmas gifts, however these gifts were from her that she brought over , so to open a couple , really isn't unreasonable at all and especially if she won't t be there tomorrow to see gc opening presents . All the magic will be there with the santa gifts tomorrow

Why on Earth not?
It was only a couple of presents 🎁 from
Granny on Christmas Eve-
If Granny isn’t seeing her grandchild Christmas Day, then why not let the Granny see her gifts opened?

I don’t get why Father Christmas is called “Santa”
Father Christmas is more traditional- Santa sounds so Americanised.

YANBU. I would be absolutely furious.

Apologies, I should’ve mentioned she’s here on Christmas morning so will be here for all present opening

There was a thread about this a few weeks ago.

To me, growing up, he was always Father Christmas. But a number of posters pointed out that it's not just an American thing; he's always been Santa in Ireland and Scotland too.

I would let it go as in not have a big fight about it, but definitely make sure she knows for next year, all presents will wait til Xmas morning to be opened, no matter how impatient the MIL feels about wanting to give them early. Your house, your rules. In fact I would wait til next year, just before she arrives, to assert this.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. If your MIL will be at your house tomorrow morning, why on earth did they let your DC open their presents on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day, particularly as you weren't there to see her?

After reading your first post I thought you were being a bit unreasonable, as I assumed this was the only time MIL would be seeing her granddaughter over Christmas, so thought of course she should get to see her open the prezzies she’s bought, and it’s not her fault you weren’t there.

But after realising she’s coming back tomorrow, I now think MIL has been weird. Why couldn’t she just wait until tomorrow? I find that really bizzare I’d I’m honest. Like fine if she wanted to pop round and visit today, bur was there any need for her to do gifts? Why couldn’t she just wait until tomorrow? She’s being odd.

What a fuss.

None of this stuff matters this much.

Such rigid rules around Christmas and gifts is just so unnecessary.

People need to relax and enjoy themselves rather than getting caught up in pettiness. Words like ‘hijack’ and ‘steal’?! This wouldn’t have bothered me a tiny bit when the kids were young.

Granny will be there tomorrow morning.

I’d say you are being unreasonable, we spread our gifts out a few days before from family so that my toddler isn’t overwhelmed by all the gifts at once and it also gives her a chance to appreciate each gift !

I’d be annoyed but let it go. Santa brings all of the presents here but she’s young so will soon forget for next year.