Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

Just seen your comment about your catholic upbringing. Greed and gluttony are mentioned a lot in the Catholic faith, it looks like you still feel strongly about this despite having given up your faith years ago.

It's great that you understand that you're looking down on people who, as you see it, can't delay gratification.

There's are larger issues here though, which are that you don't understand that a different viewpoint from yours is not necessarily a lack of control, and that you can't understand that other people don't have to have to do things the way you want them to be done.

It's not a failure to behave differently from how your spouse thinks you should behave.

This would piss me off. What if you bought something you’re looking forward to that he can’t replace because it sells out?

I’m with OP here (minus the rage). We buy loads of nice food and keep it for the 25th when we have lots of people over. I would be worried about not having enough if we started ploughing into it before hand. Plus I think I’d get sick of it and it wouldn’t feel special while I’m still working etc.

The days following Xmas are a lovely jumble of leftovers, buffet food, cheese and chocolate.

Adding in a takeaway curry at some point, then by New Year’s Day we are usually back to normal eating.

Must be a bundle of fun at your house!

Ah the Catholic hair shirt. That I can relate to even though I rebelled as a teenager. The roots of childhood run deep. I've had to consciously give myself a good talking to when I had my own little family.

My mother once told my husband that I was too soft with my children because she'd been so strict.

Maybe the early eating of the cheese was extra good, consumed as it was in the spirit of protest against the Christmas cheese rules…

This. I would be annoyed that I couldn’t relax in my own home.

So does OP, just for her it starts on 25th, not before.

Totally agree, because you are properly brought up. I love to read E.J.Howard description of her family get-togethers with special food in the 1920s that everybody was looking forward to, delaying gratification. These days nothing is a treat as everybody gorges oneself silly any time, all the time. As a child I used to enjoy tinned Twining's tea because it was such a rare treat, the taste of it! Nowadays I just buy knock-offs, all year round and it is not special anymore, the magic is gone. I totally agree with you.

🤢 🙄

You are being super controlling. He is an adult and can eat and drink what he likes. If my husband was disgusted at me for eating something from my own fridge I’d be telling him where he could stick his psycho-babble delayed gratification bullshit!

Disgusted ???

Your reaction is way over the top and suggests a very inflexible and intolerant attitude to your DH. You are trying to shame him, simply for eating food which presumably he helped to pay for.

Disappointed. Clicked on link as I thought a thread about having a cheeky wank.

And for her DH it doesn't. No one's opinion is wrong, just the OP's reaction.

My mum used to bake and cook and decorate food for Christmas day. It was absolutely dinned into us that it was for Christmas day and not before. It always seemed to make her massively stressed. By the time we'd eaten huge amounts of Christmas breakfast and Christmas lunch nobody had room for mince pies and Christmas cake and she would get very cross about that. I don't even like stodgy stuff like that.

For me, it is just not Christmas time yet - that is my point.

So you don't eat your cheese until the 25th then, but don't stop anyone else.
For the vast majority of people, who have been hearing Christmas songs on the radio for over a month, have been shopping for Christmas presents in Christmas markets and towns with Christmas lights up, have had their decorations up for weeks, have sent Christmas cards, worn Christmas jumpers, been to Christmas concerts and work Christmas parties - December IS the Christmas period which culminates on 25 December, it doesn't start on the 25th.

You do whatever you want, but your way is not the norm in this country, nor the only "right" way, so it's both odd and rude to be "disgusted" by someone whose attitude towards Christmas is more in line with the majority.

Totally agree, because you are properly brought up.
😂😂

That's one way to see it. Allow the rest of us to strongly disagree!
The fact that it's becoming such a massive issue tends to show me your way might not be the best way though...

These days nothing is a treat as everybody gorges oneself silly any time, all the time.
Put it another way, we are not martyr only allowed to eat treats once a year, but we enjoy a pleasant life all year round, in moderation, being not so uptight we can actually enjoy things on a regular basis.

Me too.

Though this is hilarious so I don't mind

Me too! Why does it matter what day it gets eaten? You sound really controlling,he's an adult and he can decide when to eat his own food. Do you never have a mince pie before Christmas day?

Well, no. It’s ‘lack of ability’ by YOUR control, not his. You aren’t lord of the manor and he can eat food if he wishes as long as he replaces whatever is necessary to. It’s the 23rd December – lighten up.

wow - I am on your side OP

We have the 'special' Christmas stuff - everyone knows - they take the piss out of me, but wouldnt have it any other way. We have the Christmas cupboard under the stairs and the food that cant be eaten till Christmas. We opened a tub of Quality Street at the weekend because we had visitors. The rest gets cracked open on Christmas Eve and not before.

It is also part of the fun and anticipation of Christmas - seeing things and not starting them till Christmas - the same as I dont eat my advent calendar before the right day, I dont eat easter eggs before Easter Day or open my birthday presents before my birthday.

What this thread is showing you is there is no one true way. Not everyone has to live by your parents' rules.

Your 'disgust' needs review.

You're not morally superior to other people because of when you do or don't eat cheese.

The only thing this says about society is that people like cheese.

Please try to enjoy your Christmas. You weren't put on this earth to monitor how much cheese is in the fridge. It's party time.

We ate all the chocolates in an advent calendar on 30th November, so I’m struggling to empathise with your disgust.

How very Catholic.