To leave the mess. Even if it means DM can't visit on Xmas day?

[Messedupabit]

Single parent 2 adult DCs, 2 younger. For the past 3 weeks I have repeatedly told DCs I need them to help get the house sorted for Christmas. Older DCs were asked/told to sort hallway/stairs/landing. Younger DCs asked to do toilet/bathroom. Younger DCs have done everything asked of them. Older DCs have done fuck all.
I've stopped doing their washing as its hanging in the hallway, has been for weeks. Coats, shoes etc lying all over said hallway. Basket full of odd socks in hallway, post and packages on the stairs,unwanted clothes (on vinted apparently) dumped on the landing.
If it's not sorted my disabled DM can't come on Christmas morning to see DCs open their presents as she can't get through the hallway.
AIBU to leave it and give DC some responsibility for their laziness?

Yep agree

I've lobbed stuff straight into the kids rooms before and also placed it IN their beds so they've got the message! Only had to do that twice before they learned. 🙄 this was after prev discussions about keeping the house tidy which they ignored.

I have said in my follow ups that this works best if it's started early. But it would be a "win" short term for OP in that it would remind her adult children they need to pull their weight or lose stuff, even if it doesn't stick forever and she'd get a clean house for when she wanted it.

It's also never too late to start putting boundaries in place. As long as once you start, you enforce them consistently.

This

I agree about starting early, that's why I think it's too late here. Obviously the adult DC believe it's not their responsibility to pitch in, that won't be changed by strong-arm tactics now.

The only win of OP putting the stuff in their rooms is that OP has a clear house. For maybe 24 hours. But she's done the work, not them.

All of that is assuming that the DC don't just put all the stuff back out again as a 'FU don't treat me that way'. There's a good possibility they will if they're already disrespectful. Then you have a massive heated stand off and Christmas is marred for everyone.

Just scoop it up into bin bags and dump in their bedrooms. If they carry on not doing stuff asked then next time don’t even put it in bags, throw it all into their rooms

I'd do 1 of 2 things. Have done both actually
Bin bag the lot. Put in the boot of your car. On the first day they are open you drive the entire lot to the tip
Or literally chuck it all in bedrooms and shut the door

Tell them they have exactly a day before all their crap is being collected in a binliner and donated/ thrown in the bin. Including shoes and jackets.

@Messedupabit Considering taking younger DCs to hers for presents but they still believe in santa and are expecting him to come to their house

"Grandma just called....silly Santa put the presents in her house instead....shall we go and see??'

Had to blame Santa one year when Santa left a bag of DS gifts under the stairs and weren't found till lunchtime!

Dont exclude your mum because your family are being arseholes.

Tell them once more there need to tidy up for her sake.

And if not, you'll take the Christmas food & treats to hers and do it there.

They can fend for themselves in their mess.

I'd worry if your eldest are depressed and maybe not looking forward to Christmas.

Could you play some jolly music and say right CHRISTMAS TIDY UP TIIIIME every body. Yes it's what you do with younger children but it might jolly them up. Pop a santa hat on them. Get a mince pie in them.

"You've got five minutes to start cleaning this up or it's all going in the bin."

Doesn't matter if they have other plans, the mess gets done or it goes in the bin. Stand your ground.

Well you put this onto the older DCs, it's their fault that the younger ones have to go to their GMs. You're looking for reasons not to follow through on your threats and that's why they treat you with such disrespect. They should feel ashamed that their GM can't visit on Christmas day.

Where do you think they’re going to go out for Christmas dinner? Everywhere’s been booked up since October.

This do this, don’t put in their rooms just next to the bin.

I think you all need to do it. I’d be like right get down here we’re all doing an hours blitz.

Yeah I think so too. It's christmas so be a bit jolly about it

I would bag it all up and stick it in the loft!

I know you need to solve this problem immediately but is this the normal thing for them to do? If so then you need to rewrite your house rules.

Oh come on ....

What? When my depression was bad I reallt struggled to do anything

I wouldn’t touch it. I’d be off to my mum’s for the day with the younger two and every component of Christmas. Leave them to stew in the mess on their own.

Read them the riot act.
Tell them it’s done by 2pm today or it’s all going in a bin bag and then to the clothes recycling tomorrow.
Then you’ll be taking their presents back and using the money to buy replacement items for you/ younger kids if needed.
Plus after your DM comes round on Christmas morning you’ll be going back with her for dinner, taking all the Christmas food and they are not invited.
Go. Through. With. It.

A charity shop, more like, today. Anything they are that bothered about they can go and buy back.

Why would you punish your mum for this??

Just puck up the shit belonging to your adult children and move it into their rooms. Why is something as simple as a bit of clutter taking weeks to deal with? If you wanted to it could be done in an hour or two max unless your house is a midden.

To be fair maybe round your way, but my way there are restaurants advertising they still have tables. But yes probably unlikely!