To leave the mess. Even if it means DM can't visit on Xmas day?

[Messedupabit]

Single parent 2 adult DCs, 2 younger. For the past 3 weeks I have repeatedly told DCs I need them to help get the house sorted for Christmas. Older DCs were asked/told to sort hallway/stairs/landing. Younger DCs asked to do toilet/bathroom. Younger DCs have done everything asked of them. Older DCs have done fuck all.
I've stopped doing their washing as its hanging in the hallway, has been for weeks. Coats, shoes etc lying all over said hallway. Basket full of odd socks in hallway, post and packages on the stairs,unwanted clothes (on vinted apparently) dumped on the landing.
If it's not sorted my disabled DM can't come on Christmas morning to see DCs open their presents as she can't get through the hallway.
AIBU to leave it and give DC some responsibility for their laziness?

Did you give them a deadline?

Give them one (6pm today) if it's not done it's bin liners and chucked in their room.

Teens can be massive assholes at times

YANBU to be annoyed but I think you need to think of a different punishment. The younger DC have done what you asked so it wouldn’t be fair on them and also wouldn’t be fair on your mum.

Anything in communal areas of the house put in a bin bag and dump in their bedrooms

Drop young dc at your musk today for couple of hours to watch a movie then go home switch wifi off .
Open both bedroom doors and blinds and say out your rooms now please.
Stand in the hall with a bin bag for each of them and say nobody is doing anything else today untill this mess is sorted. .
”if it isn’t done I am going to join the kids at grandmas and won’t be back untill after Xmas”.
That it will be cancelled for them only.

Id simply say tidy before 8pm tonight or it's in the bin.

Give them adeadline after which you will place their belongings in the garden.

agree with the bin bags in the garden solution, or take it directly to the tip if you have time.
If adult DC can't contribute to household, time for them to start looking for new accommodation in January.

I wouldn't give them a warning. The lot would've been in bin bags and up the tip by now.

Any complaints would have been ignored.

Years ago, my mum did this to my then-teenage sister. All her stuff was launched into the back garden, along with her presents. It was also raining. 😬😂

At this point so close to Xmas I’d probably stick some loud music on ( so hopefully they’ll get up) and start tidying as much as I can . Îd chuck everything of theirs into their bedrooms for now and give the commual bits a clean. I wouldn’t ruin Xmas for the little ones or your Mum by going nuclear. In the grand scheme of things it’s not the end of the world

I don’t know answer to the cleaning. Even if it all gets sorted if like your mum and all get on if suggest going to hers and Santa delivery there so that you can spend more time without her needing to leave for the toilet.

Put it all in bin bags and dump in the garage if you have one or outside, they’ll soon move it then.

My son leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor. When they get to critucsl mass, I can't open the door. I usually give him a deadline, "If they're not off the floor by x time they're going on your desk." I then pile them up on his keyboard, dirty pants/ socks everything. He generally does it by the deadline. I would dump their stuff on their pillows. And continue to do that once a week. The cleaning won't take long once the clutter is gone.

I would do just like someone else said - collect it all in a big bag and either put it outside or in one of their bedrooms! They can take it from there without it bothering you anymore or ruining your DM's Christmas.

I would be inclined to bag up their belongings that are in the way and preventing the visit, and put them outside or even in a car boot.
It does sound like more of a punishment for your DM and your younger children if your DM doesn't come round.

black bag all their stuff lying around and stick it in the garden

I'd tell them they have today to get it sorted or half is getting launched in each of their bedrooms and itl be up to them to sort whos is who. I'm sure the one with the tidy room won't like that.

put the stuff in bin bags chuck in garden up to them to either sort or replace
put their presents away or take back they don't deserve
let the youngers open their Santa stockings at home
off to mums for day take nosh to help her if you had stuff for the big day the older ones will have to fend for themselves younger ones can spend a decent amount of time with their gran in peace and tidiness

I’d tell them that any of their crap still left lying about after X specified time, will be put in black bin bags outside, ready for the bin men.
And I’d absolutely mean it!

Honestly, just do it!

Take their stuff out of the hall and put it on their beds 😁

Don't punish your mum. Take the younger DC, the Xmas food and presents to your Mum's for the day.
As for the 'adults' In future every time a bit of crap is left laying around for more than an hour just throw it in their bedroom doors and walk away. You might also want to have a conversation about charging them extra for the work you do for them, or even suggesting they check out the cost of moving out.

why have you allowed it to get into this state ? Every day you should have put / thrown, whatever was there, into their rooms. Do not allow it to accumulate in a shared space. It would have taken 5 minutes.

One more deadline to do it with a reminder of the impact of their actions on other people - you, DM, younger sibs etc. If no change, I would quietly take it all...and wrap it up as presents. That's all that would be under the tree for them.

Not really. This is a very popular theoretical 'win' here on MN, where the mum finally puts her foot down, takes no nonsense and the errant children/DH/work colleagues realise the error of their ways, do exactly what they're asked, clear up the house to a great standard and learn a valuable lesson.

Except it doesn't really work that way. This level of ongoing complete disregard for not only the mess but the feelings of the person asking for it to be removed is deeply ingrained at this point. Throwing all the stuff away will do exactly one thing: clear the stuff. Which YOU will have done. It will not spur your children into a changed mindset of respect, it will not make them jump into action and have them hoover and do the laundry. At best they will pick a few things up and you will be left to finish the job - hoover, dust, sort the last bits yourself etc and they will learn that they only need to do something when mum goes totally crazy. They will be resentful and angry and your relationship with them will be damaged.

If they don't care about you or your DM visiting, they don't care. You cannot change their feelings on it by bullying.

Just to be clear OP - I agree that you should clear it and either put it in their rooms or outside. You should have your DM be able to come over. But don't be under any illusions that this is a turning point in their attitude.

Let the older ones deal with the consequences of Christmas morning alone and take the dc who have tidied to your Dm, that way they can take wrapped presents from Santa round. Your older ones will be unwrapping there pressies at home thinking WTF, and it’s a life lesson for them as life won’t pander to them.