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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on this holiday?

106 replies

Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:26

My husbands parents, uncle and his wife, and grandparents have presented the offer of a new tradition.
10 days holiday, all flights and Accomodation paid for in the Easter holidays to the Caribbean.

In attendance would be

  • Husbands Grandparents
  • Husbands Parents
  • Husbands uncle and his wife
  • Husbands sister, her husband and 2 children aged 4 and 7
  • Husbands brother, his wife and their children aged 5, 8 and 10
  • Husband and I and our 2 children 6 and 9
  • Husbands cousin, her partner and her child aged 3

They have found a villa which they claim would fit everyone nicely. AIBU to say I don't want to go and husband can go with the kids and his family and I'll have a nice week, not waste any annual leave and have evenings and a weekend to myself.
If it goes well they want to make it an annual tradition and I just don't think I can stand 10 days with the in laws and so many kids.

OP posts:
Itsaswelltime · 22/12/2024 15:29

I think it will be a shit show unless very well organised. Can all of them take 10 days off of work?

TwinklyAmberOrca · 22/12/2024 15:29

YABU.

Sounds like an amazing holiday.

It would be rude not to give it a try.

Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2024 15:31

That is a LOT of people.
Will they actually book a villa big enough (10 bedrooms plus) or exepct everyone ot bunk in?
It depends on how you all get on but it wouldn't be my idea of fun

SwedishEdith · 22/12/2024 15:31

I wouldn't want to, no. But what does the "new tradition" mean? They want to do this every year? You won't be the only one who won't want to go. How has this idea arisen? Through you all discussing it or your in-laws just presenting it as an offer that means you look churlish if you don't want to join in?

FuckItItsFine · 22/12/2024 15:32

I get on very well with my in laws but I wouldn’t want a holiday with this many people. Just not relaxing to me.

Original poster
Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:32

Itsaswelltime · 22/12/2024 15:29

I think it will be a shit show unless very well organised. Can all of them take 10 days off of work?

There's not actually that many working people in the group, his dad, his uncle and his wife, then his brother and brother in law and cousins partner. They all seem on board with it.

I think when you count the weekends it would be 6 days annual leave.

OP posts:
Stormyweatheroutthere · 22/12/2024 15:33

7 bedrooms and that's with the dps having their dc in the room?!. No bloody thanks.

Ils for 10 days?. I would rather eat my own hand....
Yanbu op. Never in a million years...

HisNibs · 22/12/2024 15:33

That holiday sounds like absolute hell. You are definitely not being unreasonable though I doubt ILs will see it that way.

Gymmum82 · 22/12/2024 15:33

I think I’d suck it up for a paid trip to the Caribbean. I’d negotiate several days where my husband would stay with the children and his family whilst I went alone to explore some secluded beaches. Also arrange the grandparents to babysit for several date nights.

Original poster
Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:34

Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2024 15:31

That is a LOT of people.
Will they actually book a villa big enough (10 bedrooms plus) or exepct everyone ot bunk in?
It depends on how you all get on but it wouldn't be my idea of fun

It has 8 bedrooms so

Grandparents
Parents
Uncle and wife
Us
Brother
Sister
Cousin + kid
All the other kids

OP posts:
Original poster
Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:34

SwedishEdith · 22/12/2024 15:31

I wouldn't want to, no. But what does the "new tradition" mean? They want to do this every year? You won't be the only one who won't want to go. How has this idea arisen? Through you all discussing it or your in-laws just presenting it as an offer that means you look churlish if you don't want to join in?

Apparently they did similar when they were all little and want to start it up again. Everyone seems on board apart from me!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2024 15:35

Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:34

It has 8 bedrooms so

Grandparents
Parents
Uncle and wife
Us
Brother
Sister
Cousin + kid
All the other kids

Show quote history

7 kids in one room?

jacquibunch · 22/12/2024 15:36

Hard no. Stuck with mine for 2 weeks next year for a big birthday. Not looking forward to it at all.

Original poster
Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:36

@Hoppinggreen

It has 2 queen beds (so 2 kids each) and 2 pull out beds, one other kid (I imagine the 4 year old) would have to go in with her parents.

OP posts:
Tink3rbell30 · 22/12/2024 15:37

It'll come across very rude if you don't. Give it a try.

PurpleThistle7 · 22/12/2024 15:38

That sounds amazing and how lovely for your kids to have this time with their cousins - all so close in age!

BUT - I don't know the personalities, expectations, etc. it's a lot of people to manage and someone needs to cook and sort things etc etc. what about cars and plans and everything else? Is there enough space to spread out a bit? 10 days is a looong time.

So generous of whoever is paying though!

Stormyweatheroutthere · 22/12/2024 15:38

The dc won't get any sleep sharing.... They will be demonic by day 4....

justforthisnow · 22/12/2024 15:38

Nope. Just no.

Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2024 15:38

Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:36

@Hoppinggreen

It has 2 queen beds (so 2 kids each) and 2 pull out beds, one other kid (I imagine the 4 year old) would have to go in with her parents.

Doesn't sound like any of them would be getting much sleep and so neither would the adults.
As I said, I wouldn't fancy it but I don't like to holiday in groups anyway

EmpressaurusKitty · 22/12/2024 15:39

Etilo · 22/12/2024 15:36

@Hoppinggreen

It has 2 queen beds (so 2 kids each) and 2 pull out beds, one other kid (I imagine the 4 year old) would have to go in with her parents.

As well as being tough on you, isn’t it asking a lot of the kids who are going to be in with each other for 10 nights - especially if they're mixed sex? What if the older ones, in particular, want privacy or if they fall out?

GCAcademic · 22/12/2024 15:39

The very definition of hell in paradise.

TTPDTS · 22/12/2024 15:40

No Thankyou! Too many people in one villa and too much of my annual leave to use personally!

BlueMum16 · 22/12/2024 15:41

I'd go as a one off.
Your DC get to spend time with their wider family and cousins.

If you really don't want to be in the villa can you stay nearby or go for less days?

LightDrizzle · 22/12/2024 15:41

It’s very generous and it sounds like it would be fabulous for the children but you aren’t talking about them not going. I can see the appeal of a week to yourself and this sounds like a fine thing to say. I’d be open about the fact that it sounds great and the kids will love it but for you the chance of a totally guilt free week to yourself means you’ll pass and let is be a fantastic dad and kids adventure. Even if they really like you, and there’s no reason to think they don’t, I can’t imagine that having their son/ brother/ and the children without you would spoil things, even though they may feel the need to protest a little for form’s sake.

I really like my SIL and enjoy his company but if my DD stays without him I also enjoy it being just her and that’s no shade on him.

It could be really special for your husband.

overmydeadbody · 22/12/2024 15:42

We do something similar to this every couple of years, but with my family not my in laws. Everyone has a great time and it is really good fun! Yes it's a logistical nightmare getting everyone there, we actually use a spreadsheet to organise meals and cooking and clearing up duties, there are always a few arguments but in general it's great, especially for the kids! We only do 5 nights though. 15 adults and 6 kids.