Would you go on this holiday?

[Etilo]

My husbands parents, uncle and his wife, and grandparents have presented the offer of a new tradition.
10 days holiday, all flights and Accomodation paid for in the Easter holidays to the Caribbean.

In attendance would be

• Husbands Grandparents
• Husbands Parents
• Husbands uncle and his wife
• Husbands sister, her husband and 2 children aged 4 and 7
• Husbands brother, his wife and their children aged 5, 8 and 10
• Husband and I and our 2 children 6 and 9
• Husbands cousin, her partner and her child aged 3

They have found a villa which they claim would fit everyone nicely. AIBU to say I don't want to go and husband can go with the kids and his family and I'll have a nice week, not waste any annual leave and have evenings and a weekend to myself.
If it goes well they want to make it an annual tradition and I just don't think I can stand 10 days with the in laws and so many kids.

I've had big holidays with my in-law extended family, and it's worked fine. With the numbers that OP is talking about, there'll be no attempt to all be doing the same things. I imagine that each day people will splinter into their own little groups or families, or of the people who all want to do a particular thing, then maybe come together for the evening meal.

In our case though, we stayed in multiple apartments, so that everyone had their own space to retreat to. And I think that once you get beyond, say, 8 or 10 people, that's the secret.

I'd give it a go. 6 days annual leave isn't much

Sounds absolutely amazing!

That sounds like a complete nightmare to me however well organized

I’d love it! I’d struggle to get that off work though and certainly wouldn’t be able to every year.

I think a lot depends on the family dynamics! It would be fine with my family or DHs family, but I know many families it would be a nightmare.

That’s really different than all these people including 8 kids being cooped up in an 8 bed house.

I actually think it's a great opportunity to spend quality time with family, and it's free!!! As long as you get to see your side of the family to the same extent. I like the idea but I also love my husband's family, if you're not keen on you in laws it could be hell!!

I would but I know the dynamics of my husband's extended family quite well so I know who'll chip in and cook and shop and tidy and who won't. There are a few 'doers' in the family who like that kind of shit.

Yes!

My family does this every May bank holiday, about 20 people, lots of kids. However, it’s only for a long weekend and it’s pretty much out all day. We do pub one night, bbq another and we all just pitch in with salad, meat, milk, bread for a help yourself night. Everyone organises their own breakfast/packed lunches. It’s a big enough place that we don’t get under each other’s feet and we split up into different groups, some go walking, some head to a lake for messing round in a dinghy with the dc/swimming/picnics/short walks/pub lunch.

Not sure I’d cope with longer. It’s very dependent on how well you get on with everyone. It’s a lot of kids! However, would it be your only annual holiday? Will you be tied down into going every year? Even if it’s all paid for, it’ll still cost you money for meals out/drinks etc?

Being on holiday with 23 other people would be my idea of absolute hell.

I'd go for this one year so your DC have their cousins to play with and it will be nice for your DH, but I'd make it clear to DH you want a nuclear family holiday the following year. Somewhere of your choosing. I have a 7 bedroom holiday home and we do invite family to stay when we are on holiday there but mostly we invite one family at a time. They are welcome to use it when we are not there and take who they please.

I've been on similar - 7 adults and 7 dcs in one villa. Each room was en suite, we had two lounge areas a games room and a pool. Dc ranged from 1yo to 12yrs. Didn't feel overcrowded at all. It was my parents and siblings though so that probably makes a difference. My dc love spending time with their cousins.
Personally I'd hate a hotel, as I don't find the rooms or communal areas relaxing.

As it’s free, I’ll want to try it out first. It might end up being good. I know the villa sound cramped but I’ll just use it to retreat and sleep and will plan things to do in the day, spend lots of time outside, on the beach, etc. If you choose not to go at all, it might be awkward, sometimes we build up things in our head and might not be that bad. If it ends up not going well, at least you can say you’ve tried it and not doing it ever again

I would go if everyone was staying in a hotel or an apartment block so each family had their own room and bathroom and everyone was free to come and go as they please.

I would not stay in a villa with that many people, it would be my idea of hell. I like my own space and the freedom to do what I want when I want without having to please other people.

I like my own space
So no

Not in any lifetime.

That's a LOT of people to cater for - preferences for lie-ins, lounging around vs activity days, food preferences etc. even nuggets and chips for 23 people is a challenge. With a good proportion of people working could you maybe all chip in for a housekeeper/ cook? Having someone there to clean and cook would not only help stop the inevitable bickering over who does that but also means there's a non family member there which may diffuse any tension.

We used to do this as a family when the kids were younger. There were 10 of us in all, muli-generational. We'd go for a week.

It worked well because

we had a big house with plenty of outside space

we did it in this country, so each family could drive there so we had our own transport, which made outings easier

we had a rota of catering. Took it turns to cook, with a couple of takeaways/eat out.

There is no way any of this would have worked with more people though. The catering would have been overwhelming, trying to wrangle that many people on daytrips would have been prohibitive, eating out anywhere without military planning and a lot of notice would have been impossible.

(If you are staying on Necker Island and are being catered for, that would be different, obvs.)

Same. Absolutely loved extended family holidays as kids and then have re-started it when we all became parents again. There's the odd tussle with toddlers and arguments with teens but everyone has a great time overall and we do it every other year. Have also done holidays with over 30 people from my husband's family and had so much fun. Personalities obviously come into it because if you don't get on, it'll be hard work.

I wish my in-laws would offer something like this! Sounds like an amazing opportunity and extremely generous. I'm sure the kids will have a blast being with all their cousins on holiday. Lucky you!

I could do it with my side of the family, as we're all perfectly able to say to one another "We've had enough of you 'orrible rabble, so we're off for a few hours on our own!" And it would be taken in good humour and we'd catch up with everyone later. DH doesn't have the same relationship with his side of the family, and his DSis is very overbearing and would have everyone on a strict itinerary (designed around the needs of her own DC) from the moment we set foot in the airport.

However, I am not sure I could turn down 10 days in the Caribbean, no matter who I was going with! As long as you know that your DH will be on your side when you need a break from the main group, I think I'd probably give it a go. If you have a horrible time, no need to go again, but at least you don't look churlish for simply dismissing the idea (although it really does depend on what DH's family are like, and how well you and your DC get on with them).

10 days in the Caribbean? I'd go in a heartbeat.

Sounds like a special kind of hell.

I think I would go to see if it works.

It sounds like it could be a shit show or could work really well as the ages of the DC could work, as in they can play with each other.

As it's free and in the Caribbean, I would give it go.
Plan for the worst, hope for the best.