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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guests haven't RSVPd for Xmas drinks and food

136 replies

SoDemure · 22/12/2024 10:39

For the past few years, post covid, we have been out Xmas day and then hosted friends for drinks and a buffet in the evening (cheese board, gammon, roast potatoes, etc).

Made new friends this year and they seemed very keen to join when we mentioned this back in the summer. I couldn't confirm until late as we're having work done on the house but, last week, I text to say we're definitely going ahead with drinks etc and would love for them to join. They had already told us they were just home for Xmas, very local to us.

The wife said she would check with her husband. Fine, no worries. Her husband saw mine later in the week and said "we'll let you know".

They still haven't confirmed and I'm not sure whether to chase them or not.

It makes a slight difference as to how much food I prepare as they are big eaters with older teens, and I would be mortified if I hadn't prepared enough food.

I think they're being very rude not to confirm either way. Even if food wasn't an issue, surely it's not that difficult to say yes or no after you've had a week to think about it?

I know I can call or text to chase them, but am being a bit petty as I think they should be the ones to politely RSVP.

OP posts:
Sockmate123 · 26/12/2024 00:12

Is there an update OP? Was thinking of you this evening

converseandjeans · 26/12/2024 05:21

Did they show up? I think they were hedging their bets & wanted the option there but didn't want to commit.

Ilikeadrink14 · 29/12/2024 12:33

roses2 · 22/12/2024 13:33

Some people are just thoughtless and don't confirm until the day before.

I would text and say "let me know by x time if you can come so I buy enough food" then if they don't respond you can assume they are not coming.

But what if they do??

surreygirl1987 · 29/12/2024 13:11

Did they show up, OP?

barbarahunter · 29/12/2024 13:14

This happened to me this year too. As others have said, if they don't want to/can't come, no problem, but it is only manners to let the host know. It is bloody rude.

Ilikeadrink14 · 10/01/2025 21:46

I hate it when people post something on here that obviously invites replies, but then never responds to those replies! We don’t know how the problem/situation has panned out! A clear case of ‘light the touch paper and stand clear’. Really infuriating!

Sockmate123 · 13/01/2025 21:33

Ilikeadrink14 · 10/01/2025 21:46

I hate it when people post something on here that obviously invites replies, but then never responds to those replies! We don’t know how the problem/situation has panned out! A clear case of ‘light the touch paper and stand clear’. Really infuriating!

I completely agree! So many people offer advice on threads and OP never gives an update! Frustrating

stayathomer · 13/01/2025 21:36

I don’t think you get notifications if you start a thread that people are still responding so probably better to tag the op? (I could be wrong!)

angela1952 · 14/01/2025 08:28

Could we have an update please @SoDemure?

SoDemure · 14/01/2025 09:45

angela1952 · 14/01/2025 08:28

Could we have an update please @SoDemure?

Of course. Quite boring though. DH and I decided we wouldn't chase and as it got closer to Xmas, we just assumed they wouldn't come. And they didn't.

DH has since seen the couple and he said they didn't mention anything. The wife has not been in touch with me.

I've concluded they are quite rude people and while I will be warm and friendly when I see them at events, I will not invite them to anything I am hosting again.

I really do not like bad manners. It costs nothing to be polite.

OP posts:
angela1952 · 14/01/2025 10:26

SoDemure · 14/01/2025 09:45

Of course. Quite boring though. DH and I decided we wouldn't chase and as it got closer to Xmas, we just assumed they wouldn't come. And they didn't.

DH has since seen the couple and he said they didn't mention anything. The wife has not been in touch with me.

I've concluded they are quite rude people and while I will be warm and friendly when I see them at events, I will not invite them to anything I am hosting again.

I really do not like bad manners. It costs nothing to be polite.

Yes, that’s really rude. We’ve had that happen a couple of times, once when we were having a sit down restaurant meal which was expensive as well as annoying.

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