Argument and I feel like I'm going mad

[Aliceisagooddog]

Please tell me who is being unreasonable in this scenario. Walking with DH, he is holding DSs (6) hand. DS keeps tripping up and eventually falls down. DH gets angry and shouts at DS. I catch up and say that DS doesn't normally trip like this with me ( he used to when younger). DH explodes and says 'are you saying it's my fault'? Very angry. When I try and explain that I'm just stating a fact, not blaming anyone he accuses me of gaslighting ( a favourite phrase of his). I was gobsmacked. Was I wrong in what I said?

How did you child fall over if DH was holding his hand? Wouldn’t DH just have pulled him back up? All a bit of a non-issue tbh, accidents happen. You both overreacted.

Does the child have additional needs?

Why does a six year old need to be helped to walk?

If he's tripping, then was he just messing about.

All sounds rather dramatic about a child being a bit annoying

No additional needs. My husband walks very quickly and it was dark and wet

DS sounds tired, DH irritable and unreasonable, you were tactless imo.

He fell partially on one knee

Your DH shouldn't have got angry with your DS in the first place but I can understand why your comment annoyed him

I didn't say it in a patronising way, more just puzzled

You basically said it was DH fault .

Your DH needs patience with your DS but you did rub salt in the wound.

Your DH should have been more considerate of his pace, and the lack of light and the wet conditions a six year old was dealing with.

Again, this is such a non-issue. The appropriate response would have just been ‘whoops DS, careful where you’re walking!’

Your comment does read a bit like you're blaming DH.

It's all a bit of a non-issue IMO.

Taken simply as you’ve written it, I think he’s justified in thinking you were implying fault.

His reaction isn’t justified but your comment wasn’t ideal. Perhaps ‘Oh no, let me help’ or ‘shall we slow down so you can keep up?’ or ‘do try to take care DS’. There are so many other things you could have said.

However, I expect there is a backstory to this one.

Your comment was unnecessary. He tripped over. Not a massive big deal. A six year old should be able to walk fine but equally will sometimes fall over.

Sounds like you were all tired and grumpy

Definitely sounds like you were blaming him as well. Surely you'd just say, are you OK to your son

Young child falls over and parent thinks an appropriate response is to shout at them?!

How about asking if he’s ok?! God, the most basic of parenting skills has been lost. Empathy, compassion, kindness.

Your husband sounds like a huge prick. Next time he hurts himself, give him a good bollocking.

As you mention you had to catch up, is it possible your husband was walking too quickly for your 6 year old?

I have a 6 year old and I’m actually feeling quite sad about this, what a horrible response to him tripping.

What’s the backstory? Because it sounds like you are implying that your DH drags your son around too fast and makes him trip.

Ok, another example. Leaving a busy theatre. Part of group trapped behind in seats, husband walking off with child to exit. I called his name on the stairs to try and tell him to wait for rest of group. He was looking at his phone and didn't reply so I said it a few times. When I caught up.with he was visibly angry because I was shouting. I said I was trying to get his attention because he didn't reply. Once again I'm gaslighting apparently. It just feels like his ego is so fragile.

If your ds was tripping more than once or twice why didn't your dh pick him up and carry/jockey back him? Kids can get tired and walking just isn't fun for anyone when that happens, also if your dh's stride is considerably longer than yours and your ds is used to walking with you that also could be a factor. But is sounds like everyone was out of sorts and it needs to be forgotten about. Also you might want to correct your husband on the meaning of gaslighting, if he's going to throw the accusation about at least ask him to get it right.

You sound controlling tbh.

Why can't your DH walk to the entrance with ds and wait for the group there? Why does he need to wait because you tell him too?

I couldn't be with someone who needed to direct my every decision

Oh @Aliceisagooddog you sound a little annoying.

It was a busy theatre. If he'd carried on we could have lost each other. Why is calling someone's name controlling?

Sounds like you're both getting on rach others' tits a lot.

He was probably embarrassed to be shouted at in public that - I would be too. Was there a safety reason why he had to wait?

I think it's because it comes across a bit like you don't trust him.

It often makes sense in these places to meet up outside rather than wait for each other inside a crowded theatre.