Christmas lunch - guests, contributions and leftovers

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I can’t decide who IBU here so please help.

There’s a small number of us for Christmas lunch, we’re hosting. SIL (single, no children) has bought the turkey crown under duress. For completeness, we host every year for her and PIL (for the last 10 or so years) and haven’t previously asked for anything. Nothing has ever been offered either, no drinks brought round as a thank you. Now SIL is saying she will take all of the turkey leftovers!

I can’t decide if that’s fine as she’s paid for it or if she’s being a CF as she’s getting the whole Christmas dinner prepared (she won’t lift a finger while she’s here, never does).

So who IBU - me for expecting the leftovers to be left, or her for taking them all?!

It’s just so fucking rude to go to someone’s house, arrive empty handed and not lift a finger to help.

I think I’d be tempted to tell her not to bother coming at all.

Yes she’s being cheeky. If anything, the left overs get shared out!

She's not only being unreasonable to you but also to her own parents.

I would get DH to wrap up a share of the leftovers for both her and their parents, giving the lionshare to the parents. Surely she wouldn't make a fuss and try to take turkey away from them?

And keep some for yourself as well obviously!

Let her take the turkey and don't ask her over for Christmas next year.

ETA - OR eat as much as you physically can over the day so there's none left to take 😉

I’m totally with @BellissimoGecko and @CoraPirbright here. I’d be saying next summer, right SIL, we will host but it’s your turn to pay for everything for the next ten years…

I'm sorry but life's too short for this type of crap at Christmas.
Pay for the turkey and
Next year don't invite her !

I would buy another turkey crown, lovingly carve it for the rest of the family and place the other directly in front of her. Let her take it home - she'll be eating it for months!

There's a reason why she's wealthy and single and it is not her generosity!

And secrete a few more slices in the fridge to keep for sandwiches.

Next year tell her to bring the Brussels Sprouts- that’ll teach her

I’d give myself such a massive portion that all she has left to take is a bag of bones. Make sure the dog gets a nice Christmas dinner too!

And, I know you didn’t ask but… I don’t think it’s rude to ask her to give you a hand. “Jane, please could you give me a hand with these plates into the kitchen?” If she thinks it’s rude maybe she won’t come back next year 🤞🏻

I would address this prior to the big day (actually I’d get DH to) but if that’s not an option I’d not be packing the leftovers for her. If she had the nerve to ask for them I’d ask how she intends to get it home. All of my Tupperware would be ‘in use’ and sadly i would have run out of food bags too.

Make her ask and make it uncomfortable.

How do you her disposable income?

If she's not going to lift a finger, presumably she won't be in the kitchen at all? In which case, I wouldn't serve it all up and keep some back yourself. But I'm quite petty.

I have to know how the leftovers conversation happened. I just cannot imagine anyone being that tight. Was it in person?

Utterly mortifying. I would be tempted to tell her to cook it and bring it over when it’s ready.

Do you actually invite her each year or does she just assume she's coming? I'd keep quiet next year and say you need a break.

Stop inviting them.

I would be serving everyone massive portions of turkey. What leftovers?

I’d let her have all the leftovers. I’d just leave it till the last minute and tip the plateful into her handbag. I’d never invite her again.

She’s very open about finances (and how much money she has)! Loves a good ‘not so’ stealth boast

If you've got a dog or cat, leave the kitchen door open and the turkey where they'll easily find it!

Make turkey sandwiches and knock up a quick turkey curry just to see her face. Tight git!

😂 I’ve just asked for more details from DH. It happened in the car as she was dropping him home earlier. His response was ‘good luck with that!’ as he left… I will be initiating another conversation about this before Wednesday 🤓

So you've hosted this selfish woman for 10 years and the first time she's contributed she's making a huge fuss about taking the leftovers home.

I'd be furious and tell her not to bother coming, she can cook and eat her turkey on her own. Don't be a mug OP, disinvite her immediately and tell her why

Then buy your own turkey and enjoy your day.

What does your husband say about his sister and this situation? Or is he just happy for her to just treat you like a total mug?

I think I’d have a back up meat incase she ‘forgets’ or it’s for a family of 4.