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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To eat at a restaurant alone on Christmas day

328 replies

Gorganzolabrie · 21/12/2024 12:39

I'm a single woman in my sixties with no children. This year all my family and friends will be away/with other family for Christmas and for the first time ever I'll be alone on the 25th. This doesn't particularly bother me. It would be nice to have someone to spend Christmas with but I'm not a very Christmassy person and I'm looking forward to going away for a week over New Year.

I discovered that one of my favourite local restaurants is open for a few hours in the afternoon and has a Christmas menu, so I booked myself in. I'm now having second thoughts. I'm wondering if I'll feels self-conscious dining on my own on Christmas day. I don't really want to be an object of people's curiosity or pity and I certainly don't want to be invited to join another table. Should I cancel and have a more relaxing time on my own? I'm also curious about whether any of you have dined alone in public on Christmas day? What was it like? If you saw somebody doing it, would you feel sorry for them?

YABU - Sod what people think - go and enjoy your solo meal

YANBU - Stay at home. It will be less stressful

TIA for your responses.

OP posts:
Poppinjay · 21/12/2024 12:43

I've worked in a hotel restaurant on Christmas Day. There were a couple of people on tables for one. Nobody thought much of it.

People will probably be extra friendly but I doubt you'd be asked to join another table.

Go and enjoy your meal.

Winterwonderland24 · 21/12/2024 12:45

I wouldn’t personally do it but do it if you fancy it. It saves you cooking and washing up.

MumChp · 21/12/2024 12:46

Go! enjoy!

Movinghouseatlast · 21/12/2024 12:47

My huge fear with this would be that people would invite me to join them and then it's embarrassing saying no.

I think have a good excuse up your sleeve to put them off, something non committal and non specific " I'm not feeling very festive and wouldn't be very good company but thank you so much for asking". Obviously that's a white lie but hopefully would put them off asking any further. Say it with a big smile though to deflect!

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 21/12/2024 12:48

I wouldn't despite often eating out by myself. I think you'll get too many people trying to bring you into their conversations/tables. Could you make it a bit of a different day by packing up a picnic of all your favourite foods and go for a walk in a really nice place or spend the day cooking all your favourite things. Then go out for food on Boxing Day instead?

Kirstyshine · 21/12/2024 12:49

I’d take a book as a prop, but if I saw a woman like you would think you admirable: confident and enjoying life. I’d not invite you to join my table or think less of you if I were working there. It’s your favourite restaurant: enjoy!

HangingOver · 21/12/2024 12:50

Movinghouseatlast · 21/12/2024 12:47

My huge fear with this would be that people would invite me to join them and then it's embarrassing saying no.

I think have a good excuse up your sleeve to put them off, something non committal and non specific " I'm not feeling very festive and wouldn't be very good company but thank you so much for asking". Obviously that's a white lie but hopefully would put them off asking any further. Say it with a big smile though to deflect!

Edited

Tbh if you're going to lie you might as well make it a belter.

"My seventh husband died on Christmas day in a motorboat accident in Antibes last year, therefore I will be taking my Christmas meal is solomn silence, I thank you"

They'll be dining out on that anecdotes for years.

iamnotalemon · 21/12/2024 12:50

Why not, enjoy it. If someone asks you to join them, just say no thank you.

DancingLions · 21/12/2024 12:50

I generally have no issue with dining alone, have done it numerous times. But somehow it wouldn't feel right on christmas day. I think I would feel too self conscious to enjoy it. But if you wouldn't, then just go. I certainly wouldn't think anything of it if I saw someone dining alone.

BlushPine · 21/12/2024 12:52

Totally go, if you love their food! It sounds lovely!

Maddy70 · 21/12/2024 12:52

I eat out fairly regularly by myself.

You do get over the self consciousness wine

BMW6 · 21/12/2024 12:52

Although I've holidayed abroad alone several times and eaten in restaurants there, I don't think I would do a full on Christmas meal alone anywhere.

It's one thing to dine while gazing at a beach or lovely scenery, but what would you look at in a dining room inside?

BlushPine · 21/12/2024 12:52

Or, if you’re there and aren’t feeling it, get the meal to takeaway?

Rudicoolcat · 21/12/2024 12:53

HangingOver · 21/12/2024 12:50

Tbh if you're going to lie you might as well make it a belter.

"My seventh husband died on Christmas day in a motorboat accident in Antibes last year, therefore I will be taking my Christmas meal is solomn silence, I thank you"

They'll be dining out on that anecdotes for years.

Show quote history

😆👏🏼

SavingTheBestTillLast · 21/12/2024 12:53

I’d ask if they could cook you something and take it home.
Personally I hate dining alone in a more formal environment

Fontainebleau007 · 21/12/2024 12:55

Go and enjoy yourself x

TempuraCustard · 21/12/2024 12:55

SavingTheBestTillLast · 21/12/2024 12:53

I’d ask if they could cook you something and take it home.
Personally I hate dining alone in a more formal environment

Edited

Why though? She can eat out if she wants to

AnnaKing81 · 21/12/2024 12:55

As a person who usually does all the food and carries all the birds in at Christmas, the thought of eating alone at a restaurant all dressed up sounds absolute bliss. You do whatever you want to do and whatever makes you comfy.

The people who are most against it and most frightened to do it are the ones who are most jealous of you. X

GroovyChick87 · 21/12/2024 12:57

You should do what you want if you don't care what people think because people will look and feel sorry for you or at least be wondering why you're eating alone at Christmas. Personally I wouldn't do it. I'd stay home and have food I enjoy in the comfort of my own home.

DowntonCrabbie · 21/12/2024 12:57

I'd be afraid of there being a Dougie and Janet there, and I've have to start talking about squid. ...

SavingTheBestTillLast · 21/12/2024 12:57

TempuraCustard · 21/12/2024 12:55

Why though? She can eat out if she wants to

Show quote history

Shes asking a question
Im answering
It is the point of the thread
ie Other peoples thoughts

Havalona · 21/12/2024 12:58

I don't do it very often (eat out on my own), but have done and TBH depending on the place i can feel a little self conscious, but thats just me.

Christmas Day to me, would be a day where I'd curl up at home with lots of goodies if on my own, which i have been once or twice.

If you dont feel instinctively comfortable about it OP, then cancel. But if OK about it then go! Not much help there am I 🙄

ShamblesRock · 21/12/2024 12:59

If the restaurant has accepted a single booking then go and enjoy it.

mitogoshigg · 21/12/2024 13:00

I would go and perhaps you aren't the only solo diner and you could sit together, perhaps another table will ask you to join them, if you prefer to be alone at your table, nobody will mind if you say no thank you too.

desperatedaysareover · 21/12/2024 13:00

I’d think they were a self-esteem legend. Can I come. Admittedly that would reduce your status though 😂