To eat at a restaurant alone on Christmas day

[Gorganzolabrie]

I'm a single woman in my sixties with no children. This year all my family and friends will be away/with other family for Christmas and for the first time ever I'll be alone on the 25th. This doesn't particularly bother me. It would be nice to have someone to spend Christmas with but I'm not a very Christmassy person and I'm looking forward to going away for a week over New Year.

I discovered that one of my favourite local restaurants is open for a few hours in the afternoon and has a Christmas menu, so I booked myself in. I'm now having second thoughts. I'm wondering if I'll feels self-conscious dining on my own on Christmas day. I don't really want to be an object of people's curiosity or pity and I certainly don't want to be invited to join another table. Should I cancel and have a more relaxing time on my own? I'm also curious about whether any of you have dined alone in public on Christmas day? What was it like? If you saw somebody doing it, would you feel sorry for them?

YABU - Sod what people think - go and enjoy your solo meal

YANBU - Stay at home. It will be less stressful

TIA for your responses.

So fuck anyone who's going to be alone at Christmas and have to cook a meal for one?

Fuck waiting staff who get more tips on that one day of the year than they probably get on any other?

Let's hope you never end up alone then.

ETA: They do get a 'day of rest', they just take it on a different day.

I wouldn't, but I am not very confident.

I would probably just get a lovely takeaway, a great bottle of wine and bingewatch Netflix. Then treat myself to a lovely bath that smells amazing.

OP I really hope you don’t cancel! This sounds like a wonderful way to get out of the house for a while and enjoy a nice meal that you don’t need to prepare or clean up after. I love to dine alone and have taken a book or kindle to read or have just people watched.

I loved working at Christmas in my university years, it meant I could save up a decent amount to get me through the terms.

And even now if my kids are with their dad I always volunteer to cover Christmas shifts at work.

Lots of colleagues work at Christmas because they are away from family/ want to take leave at another time etc.

What kind of a restaurant is it, please, OP? I could be wrong but for some reason I think there's more risk of being disturbed/asked to join another table at more traditional British place or pub with an obviously Chrismassy menu than at somewhere more foreign or contempary in style.

No.

You either view the day as special and as such should appreciate it may be special to others as well and help facilitate them not working on those days too by not using a service.

Or

You don't care about the day and don't care that others may not want to be there serving you or that they may have had no choice in the matter.

I suppose there might be a way to absolutely guarantee that everyone who is there serving you is doing so purely voluntarily. But a lot of the time it’s a bit ‘my poverty not my will’. I believe people should have the right to the day off and I stand by that.

I think as long as you look cheerful and happy to be there no one will be pitying you, a different matter if you were sat there looking sad. I wouldn’t be able to bear it, and would definitely trot over and invite you to our table!

Honestly, this sounds heavenly! I would love to do this one day. I’m a married mum of four with a huge extended family. Christmas Day is loud and chaotic and I find it so stressful. Having lunch by myself would be amazing. I’m jealous 😬 Enjoy it and who cares what people may or may not think. I think it’s great. Merry Christmas!

Oh and I’ve only had Christmas 2020, 21, 22 and 23 (and this one) alone in my adult life so I really do know it can be a shit day when alone. But the answer to this is not making others work because my family weren’t around.

My best Christmases are the ones I worked! Such a great atmosphere and fun. It was that or listening to my parents argue…

I would do it but I wouldn’t like to be invited on someone’s table.

I’ve spent Christmas alone and usually prefer to order in and watch movies and Christmas movies.

It could be a little upsetting being surrounded by families.

Please DM me if you get lonely.

In terms of how you’ll look, I wouldn’t worry at all.

It sounds like a little bit of luxury to me! Take a book just in case, have a glass of bubbles, really enjoy yourself. If anyone asks there’s no need to lie or feel awkward, you can just say you’re really enjoying time to yourself in a very busy season and wish them a very merry Christmas. No biggie.

Yes DM me too. We can all message you op.

Yes DM me too. We can all message you op.

@shortyshorts No I haven't eaten out on Christmas Day myself due to other commitments unfortunately, but would have no problem doing so whatsoever.

I was just imagining the absolute horror of being invited to join another table, in any circumstances! This would not stop me for a second though. Just have a reply prepared.

Not everyone is bothered by what other people think, and I also believe it's really wrong to be made to feel you have to hide yourself away instead because you want to do something slightly different from the majority and you feel you may be judged.

We introverts have a lot of educating to do. The extrovert majority can inadvertently be extremely patronising, even though they may think they are 'being kind'.

#making memories - let's all remember the Christmas we befriended a lonely, friendless old woman who was eating on her own. #So sad! #being kind

I would feel self conscious but if I was seated with my back to most of the other diners I think it would help. I wouldn’t catch anyone’s eye if they were looking at me.
another option might be to ask the restaurant to pack the meal so you can enjoy it at home. But if you are happy to eat in the restaurant, go for it!

Also worth mentioning that the families I saw whilst working were often at each others throats! Which is probably why they are there, a public place can have a ‘restraining’ effect! 😅

As I said earlier if there was a way to guarantee everyone working over Christmas is doing so purely voluntarily that’s one thing, but we can’t guarantee that. To me the day is special and I would not feel comfortable making others work on it.

I don't want to be a symbol of admiration & bravery for other people whilst trying to enjoy my Xmas dinner, I've got all yr to do that. On Xmas day i just want to enjoy my meal in peace without worrying about whether I'm being watched, so i'd opt for having it at home. On boxing day i might pop into my favourite restaurant for a solo meal.

I don’t think I could do it.

I was once working away over Valentine’s Day. My assistant had booked me into a very lovely hotel with dinner included. I didn’t realised but the restaurant was actually a very fancy Michelin starred one. I went down for dinner alone and the restaurant was filled with loved up couples. Everyone kept looking over at me with pity assuming I’d been stood up on Valentine’s Day. It was mortifying.

I should think most of them are there because they want to be. We were able to choose between Xmas and NY. I always choose Xmas.

Summer bank holidays were more important to me! Also not ever one celebrates Christmas, millions do not, so that is also worth remembering…

There will be some people looking on in envy I would imagine. If I was out and noticed I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I would go for it.

Hard agree with this. A reading book, crossword/sudoku mag (or something similar), gives off those “I’m busy enjoying my own company vibes” - even if you don’t properly use it.

This. I love spending Christmas alone and - this year - have everything prepared for a really cosy few days at home. Good food, even better wine.

Sometimes I go away for Christmas - and am perfectly happy to either eat at my hotel or at a local restaurant, if I’m not staying in a house and cooking for myself. Honestly, no one else will care what you’re doing. Choose the option that suits you best.