To eat at a restaurant alone on Christmas day

[Gorganzolabrie]

I'm a single woman in my sixties with no children. This year all my family and friends will be away/with other family for Christmas and for the first time ever I'll be alone on the 25th. This doesn't particularly bother me. It would be nice to have someone to spend Christmas with but I'm not a very Christmassy person and I'm looking forward to going away for a week over New Year.

I discovered that one of my favourite local restaurants is open for a few hours in the afternoon and has a Christmas menu, so I booked myself in. I'm now having second thoughts. I'm wondering if I'll feels self-conscious dining on my own on Christmas day. I don't really want to be an object of people's curiosity or pity and I certainly don't want to be invited to join another table. Should I cancel and have a more relaxing time on my own? I'm also curious about whether any of you have dined alone in public on Christmas day? What was it like? If you saw somebody doing it, would you feel sorry for them?

YABU - Sod what people think - go and enjoy your solo meal

YANBU - Stay at home. It will be less stressful

TIA for your responses.

For years Mr S worked abroad and I spent many a happy lunch on my own in a nice restaurant

Sure those that I hadn't booked and just turned up to, Id sometimes get "for how many? " but most would just take me to a table for two and clear a setting away without saying a word

Go for it, enjoy your meal xx

I think you will be definitely be asked to join other people. When we did this there was a man on his own (his daughter had been held up) and he was almost fighting people off with sticks. Semi drunk people full of goodwill to all are a formidable force!

Oh God, nightmare! 🤣

Nice of them to offer though.

I would go, OP.

If it makes you feel better, I once did exactly this on Valentine's Day, because I hadn't realised it was Valentine's Day. Only single person in a room full of couples.

The waiter was so sorry for me he gave me a little present 😂

Speaking as a person who enjoys being on their own at Christmas I'd say go for it.

So what if people stare for a bit, they'll soon get bored with looking at you, and they'll have people they want to chat to at their own tables.

And if anyone does invite you to join their table - can't think of anything worse - just say something like 'that's very kind of you but I'm having a solo lunch today' and continue with your day.

You're looking forward to having a meal at a restaurant you like so go and enjoy it.

I think if I saw someone eating alone in a restaurant at Christmas, I would probably assume they were lonely and wanted to be part of festivities rather than being home alone so would invite them to join us. I wouldn't think twice about someone eating alone any other time of the year though and often do it myself. I wouldn't be offended or push it if you said no though.

If my favourite restaurant was open, I'd be there in a flash! As it happens am about to leave the house to eat in mine. Will be by myself, I love solo dining, today, tomorrow and any day.

I sincerely doubt that anyone will so much as try to invite you to join them. Go, enjoy the blissful solitude and people watching. Alternatively, take a book. Either way, just go, you'll regret staying home.

I often dine out on my own, probably several times a month.

However on Xmas day, I preferred to stay at home with a HUGE box of chocolates and binge watch crap on TV. Didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would so if I was to have another Xmas alone I would definitely go out for a meal.

Rehearse what you will say when approached by anybody inviting you to join them.

I would probably say something like "Oh thank you for the offer that is so kind but I'm ok thank you." And a big smile.

I’d say there’s a good chance you’ll be asked to join a table, as there’s a lot of friendly people about and they won’t realise you’d hate that. I’d stay home and eat food in front of the TV

I think some people will try to engage with you. If you know the staff I would suggest going in advance to see what table they have in mind for you and make sure it's not right in the middle, or right on the way to the loo so every passer by can engage with you easily. I would also consider asking the staff to help keep people away from you. You would need to be a regular who knows the staff quite well for this request. I have certain restaurants where the staff would be more than happy to keep a discreet eye on me and I would be comfortable asking them to do so.

Go and enjoy yourself.

I love eating out alone (single mum) and just came back from having lunch with myself 😂

It's not about what other people think, it's about your own enjoyment and doing things in life you enjoyed

That was my first thought!

On Christmas Day?

I hate dining alone in a restaurant. So that does factor in my response, but I think this would be really sad (I don’t mean that in the derisive sense, I mean I think it would genuinely be a bit sad) and also I don’t personally like making others be away from families on Christmas Day, I just don’t think it is right.

I'd say go for it. If you enjoy it then you can do it again other years. If you don't, just chalk it up to experience, at least you'll have had a nice meal.

A pp said it’s jealousy leading some to say Op shouldn’t go. I really don’t think it’s jealousy
and don’t see why that’s even been suggested?!

And I’m saying this as someone who has eaten out on Christmas Day on holiday abroad (with others) spent it alone at home and went solo while living abroad too . So I pretty much do what I want to at Christmas.

I think Op should do what she’s most comfortable with and if you decide to go - be ready to leave and ask for it to be taken away if you feel uncomfortable.

Personally I know myself well enough to be absolutely sure I would be uncomfortable eating alone in a restaurant on Christmas Day. Especially if I got invited to another table. So I wouldn’t even try it.

However there’s no right or wrong to this - if someone genuinely wouldn’t be self conscious, and will enjoy it they should of course crack on.

But I am fairly sure a lot of the people saying it’s a wonderful idea wouldn’t ever do it themselves.

I'd get it delivered or go and collect it. Other days of the year yes I'd think nothing of it, but not Christmas Day. Too depressing imo.

If Christmas Day isn't important to you I'd spend it volunteering personally.

If it is in the afternoon rather than lunchtime, surely they will also get people who just pop in for a coffee/cake, so you might not be surrounded by people having Christmas lunch but by a more varied group of people?

Also some people work over Christmas and might also need to pop in to get some food.

Totally do it!

But if you have second thought then just ask them if you can pick up some food as a take away.

Yabu :) aka sod what people think and do what you want to do! People who would judge/pity you for going alone simply can't tolerate their own company and project that outwards.

I'm happy to eat out alone and go to the cinema and theatre solo. However I don't think I would eat alone on Christmas day.

I went skiing solo a couple of years ago as DH has decided it's not for him and I couldn't get any friends organised in time, and I felt really self conscious as a "person of interest " to people who were naturally curious about why I was in my own, but you could tell they didn't want to be too friendly in case they got lumbered with me. I'm a middle aged lady and generally used and happy to be fairly invisible, so it was a disconnect experience for me. One of the young staff told me how brave I was to come on my own at the end, which again flummoxed me slightly.

Anyway all this is to say I think you will be noticed on CD and you may feel you have to justify your solo meal, why not go on Boxing Day when the stakes are lowered?

Take a book and if you're not enjoying it, there's nothing to stop you leaving.

also I don’t personally like making others be away from families on Christmas Day, I just don’t think it is right.

The restaurant staff are going to be there anyway. I would imagine they're getting good overtime pay and not everyone has family, or family they want to be with.

This can't have been on Christmas day, surely?

They're booked up months in advance as a rule.

Yeah that's really weird.

Also, not everyone celebrates Christmas.

Hmmm, i think the fact you've asked the question suggests you'll feel a little self conscious on the day-which isn't much fun. Also there's a 99% chance you'll be surrounded by big tables of potentially lovely but slightly drunk people who'll want to adopt you.
I'd be heading to M&S to get some lovely food in and planning a bath/movie marathon.
But ultimately it is upto you & I hope you have a great day whatever you decide.