Are today's young people more childish?

[HelenInHeels]

I've noticed this a lot on public transport, trams particularly from teenagers say 15, 16 years old or thereabouts. And in town.

They seem far more childish than my friends and I were at the same age. We were wanting to be seen as grown up. Now I see a lot of squealing, shouting, shoving and pushing, yelling and behaviour I'd expect in seven year olds. Usually in mixed groups, but not always.

I was mortified if I was seen as a "child" at 15 (technically I was of course) and we were just not like this. I'd have been mortified if I'd acted like this.

Have today's young people really changed so much? I'm talking late 90s here not the 1960s!

I blame mobile phones. They literally never have to solve problems on their own they always have mum or dad at the end of the line. I think it’s really hampered their independence and resilience.

I'm in a Facebook group for parents of university students. I'm astonished how some parents are so involved in their children's lives. Young people need to take some responsibility for themselves

And, feeling anxious about eg a difficult assignment or a work placement is normal, understandable and not cause fir concern. We need to stop labelling it as having anxiety and requiring adjustments

Yes, definitely. But I'm not saying that in a derogatory way. I think its part of an overall context where people in every generation are reaching life stages later. 20/30s living at home and 40 year olds who have babies rather than the teenagers they would have had at one time, are 'young for their age', as are late 60s people still working and those in their 70s and 80s who are travelling the world. We live longer in better health so have plenty of time as adults. No rush to grow up.

No, no, no.

The problem is biology absolutely has not caught up. It is not a great idea to start having children at 40, and is a contributing factor in why we have increasing levels of infertility, disability & SEN, including autism which has some links with older parents.

Many of the older people working are forced to by financial constraints and struggle to do so/would rather not. Older grandparents still working reduces a) the family support available to parents of young children & b) the family care available for the elderly from adult offspring. This is contributing to isolation and weak society, and worsening mental health

I feel the opposite. They understand emotions and are free to express them. Understand that work life balance is more important. I feel they are more intuitive than us

I grew up in the 90s and early 00s. When I was 11 or 12, I was still playing dolls and sylvanian families with my younger sister. When I was 13 and 14, I would go into town with my similarly immature, 'alternative' friends and, instead of hanging round the shops buying things, we'd play a massive game of hide and seek in the shopping centre, hiding down emergency exit stairwells, in Bon Marche changing rooms and probably many other places we had no business being. When I was 16 and 17 my favourite holiday activity was 2 day sleepovers. When I was 18, I cried after phoning home every night for 2 weeks when I started university. When I went away to university I had never gone further than kissing with a boy, had never taken drugs or smoked and had only been mildly tipsy a few times. I was so, so young for my age. But I have really happy memories of actually being a child for the full 18 years and don't regret it at all.

I think some young people seem much younger than some young people used to. But for others it's the reverse. I'm not sure you can generalise by decade, it's more about personality, circumstance and upbringing.

It's very different now. 100% connected to others all the time. Parents can see where they are. Screens are constant. I hate it but that's their life as teens

Thank you . I thought so too . It brings tears to my eyes 50 years on from her saying it x

And here lies the problem... How will she gain independence when you won't let her have it? How will she ever be as mature and streetwise as you claim you were at this age. Boggles my mind how parents are so restrictive now then wonder why their kids go crazy once they finally have a taste of freedom.

So bloody what? I used to feel the same as you but I now realise childhood goes by in a flash. What's wrong with an extra couple years magic when overnight they're 13 and bombarded with social media and the reality that life can be so cruel...

My friend had a car accident at 7am on the way to work a few weeks back. It wasn't serious, as in nobody was hurt. She ran into the back of someone who stopped abruptly. First thing she did was call her mum. She's 39!

I don't know....I. am not young enough to know everything

Very much so but it's a symptom of modern society. Covid hasn't helped as it really interrupted social development. Parents have been expected to support their children for much longer than previous generations and it infantises them. This has a knock on impact to younger children. So if pareare not expecting them to leave home then the drive to expecting maturity is delayed. I hope that makes sense.

Its easy to forget that the Age of being a fully legal adult was 21 until 1969 in the UK... before that you needed parental permission for lots of things.

Same!

I've been bewildered at some of the things I've read in our parent group. Parents fussing and asking ridiculous questions about things their university student offspring should be able to find out themselves and even suggesting primary school style buddy benches be placed around the university for those struggling to make friends!

So, there seems to be a lot of infantilisation by some parents too, which I can't imagine helps...

When I was 13 and 14, I would go into town with my similarly immature, 'alternative' friends and, instead of hanging round the shops buying things, we'd play a massive game of hide and seek in the shopping centre, hiding down emergency exit stairwells, in Bon Marche changing rooms and probably many other places we had no business being.

Tbf, that sounds like a lot of fun and lot more age approrpiate than pretending to be an adult at 13!

Childhood does seem to be extended in each generation.
i don’t think Covid played a significant role in this, i have witnessed this elongated childhood for 25 years prior to covid

parwnt often not allowing their teens to do things that they were allowed and now parents controlling their early 20s children and declaring them not adults able to be left to their own devices

it’s just how things are now

What did you need parental permission for before 1969?

apart from marriage

No they are proven more ahead than peers their age 10 years ago largely down to instant internet access - this is not a good thing.

However at the same times very low expectations are set regarding behaviours.

I do feel sorry for our teenagers as I’ve no idea how this generation is going to pan out.

@MikeRafone my mum was prevented from taking an excellent job for IBM in New Zealand when she was 20 because my nan wouldn't sign the permission slip and my mum was under 21.

I agree. There seems to he a bit of a dichotomy emerging. On one hand we have ever younger children exposed to things via SM that they really ought not to be exposed to and pressures on ever younger children in terms of relationships, appearance and sex (linked to appearance if not practice), which gives the impression of them growing up south faster/younger. Oh and identity culture. One of my daughter's flatmates is a girl who is dating a boy. Yet the boy 'identifies' as a female cat.

Yet, there are also a number of 'failure to launch' type threads on MN about adult children who've not mastered even basic life skills, like being able to stay in the house alone for a couple of days, in their 20s.

I also agree with the pathologising of normal feelings and experiences. It's normal to feel anxious about a job interview - it doesn't mean you have anxiety and can't ever work.