Are today's young people more childish?

[HelenInHeels]

I've noticed this a lot on public transport, trams particularly from teenagers say 15, 16 years old or thereabouts. And in town.

They seem far more childish than my friends and I were at the same age. We were wanting to be seen as grown up. Now I see a lot of squealing, shouting, shoving and pushing, yelling and behaviour I'd expect in seven year olds. Usually in mixed groups, but not always.

I was mortified if I was seen as a "child" at 15 (technically I was of course) and we were just not like this. I'd have been mortified if I'd acted like this.

Have today's young people really changed so much? I'm talking late 90s here not the 1960s!

If any of you kept diaries as teens, go and have a read of those! have my own teens and have taught others for a long, long time. Most haven't changed. There have always been outliers, but most are pretty much as they ever were

Of course teens of yore may have seemed more grown up: if you're 15 and at full time work with adults, you're bound to have to act more grown up. Not necessarily out of work though. Going to night clubs at 16 made me feel very grown up, but I'm betting the 20+ year olds just to roll their eyes at all the kids in there.

Now colleagues in their 20s....... they are different breed.

I think it is mixed, teenagers are less streetwise, but on the flip side some 9 years I know are asking for skincare.
My 9 year old has just asked me what age she can go out alone for a walk or to the park. Something I was doing at her age(with friends) but I don't think she's mature enough yet, and her friends don't play out without parents either.

I don’t think they are, I think it’s a case of us feeling more mature than we really were. I really did feel like a grownup at 15, looking back as a mid-40s woman I can see that I was far from it. I do think we were perhaps more independent and resilient though, mainly because we didn’t have phones so our parents just had to trust we’d get home in some way and we always did.

I’m not joking. A twelve year old believing in Santa Claus is not normal.

They have grown up in a techno world. Talking to people through screens rather than face to face probably has made them less streetwise and affected interpersonal skills in real life settings. Aside from teens, I feel like people in their early and mid 20s are extremely childish in comparison to previous generations.

When I think back to being 16, I had a serious boyfriend, was doing my A Levels, getting myself to and from school, doing my own laundry, often cooking dinner for my family, had a part time job and was going on nights out up town at the weekend! I can't imagine any of the teens in my life doing these things but they are all boys. Girls do mature much faster IMO.

The irony of social media being called social media is that it has actually made people more antisocial in real life.

Older generation in "thinks they are superior to younger generation" shocker.

I honestly just think people actually forget what they were like when they were younger.

Sorry for laughing but what a mental image, especially juxtaposed with paragraph two (not funny that your DB was at risk in combat, obviously).

When I'm asking kids at work, their name age and DOB. They always look to the parents to say it. And half of them don't know addresses either. I find that amazing. When I was five I clearly remember being able to tell people all my personal details. And parents names and DOB's as well.

I was pretty immature as a child / teen. I not sure today’s kids are any worse or we just forget? We thought we looked really grown up but I bet we actually didn’t

I think they're not as good at problem solving as they're used to having the answer at their finger tips (phone) or their parents having their answer at their finger tips (phone). Then 14yo add got the bus home from the local town in the summer. She hasn't taken the bus that often and it was the first time she'd done it by herself. The bus didn't turn up when expected, she couldn't get the ticket machine to work and various other things. She phoned me 7 times. That just wasn't an option when I was a kid. The idea of asking one of the many other people waiting for the bus just didn't occur to her and she was horrified when I suggested it.
I think that there is increased knowledge about all of the risks teens face as news spreads more quickly on social media etc and can be more sensationalised. DD is now 15 and I suggested she and her friends want to do some Christmas shopping in a town which is a 15 min train ride away. One of the mums isn't letting her daughter do that "due to all the risks".
Sensationalisation also applies to reactions. If your friends are routinely filming you for social media, a dramatic reaction gets more interaction than a bland "meh". So you need to be dramatic at all times.
Having said all of the above, they are also teens and that sounds like the sort of stuff I was doing at their age in the early 90s. I remember an hour long train journey I did was half a dozen friends and I bet we were really annoying - and no one had noise cancelling headphones that they could block us out with.

(EDIT-Didn’t mean to quite the above post 🤣)

I think it’s silly to group an entire generation together based on what you’ve seen in a couple of instances.

Yes, some 15 year olds in my day were like that, some weren’t. What I do know, is the older generations will always complain about “today’s youth”, just like the older people of their day complained about them.

I bought my first house aged 18 (houses were MUCH cheaper back then, and I was working full time) by myself, but my DS who is 18 is absolutely not mature enough for that-and nor were many people my age back then. Some were, some weren’t. Some were mucking about at uni, collecting notches on their bedpost, some were living at home working the same part time jobs they’d had since 16, some were in apprenticeships, being responsible and working towards their future.

There’s no “one size fits all” behaviour for teenagers. Never has been. Part of it is that you view them as so much younger because you’re much older now

Not true. I was never like that and neither were my mates. @Betchyaby I was exactly like you!

Interesting post OP, I have been a school governor for 30+ years and in recent times we have had to work really hard with our pupils to develop independence and reslience. Although, this is not always helped by parents who tell us that our playground is a dangerous place because their child has fallen whilst playing... and we know that it is normal rough and tumble. If I am honest, we are seeing much more helicopter parenting, which does not allow the pupils to grow and mature.

Anecdotally I think they’re more mature in some ways (they have more opinions, more sophisticated taste, know the score about sex and drugs and so on way earlier) but they expect a lot more support and maybe lack the same resilience - this is a massive generalisation I know, there are competent, motivated teens aplenty, just not in my immediate social circle.

Might be because parents have become progressively more involved over the last generation so that’s removed a bit of the need for autonomy? My dad was working at 15, I started uni at 16, my son can barely find his arse with his hand on a bad day. He doesn’t leap about on buses though, as far as I know.

You and your friends may have been more mature at 15, but that doesn't necessarily mean all of your peers were. I've taught teenagers for 30 years. There have always been mature ones and immature ones. Lots of parents are much more scared of giving them any independence these days, and they have too much online life and not enough real life, but in my experience that tends to make them anxious and unadventurous rather than silly and childish.

Surprised he could carry a 17 year old 🤣 that’s just ridiculous. Why did he agree to do it? 🙈

My brother is a big strong guy and a doting dad 😂
My nephew is honestly lovely but that was a bit wtf ha ha.

When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. - CS Lewis

@HelenInHeels I was mortified if I was seen as a "child" at 15 (technically I was of course) and we were just not like this. I'd have been mortified if I'd acted like this.

Wanting to be seen as a grown up is actually extremely childish because it is something that only children do, as 'grown-ups' are in fact grown up. Being comfortable in your own skin, recognising where you are in life and being able to have fun within that, is far, far more mature than not having fun because you are pretending to be something that you aren't. Childhood is extremely short and today's kids had a chunk of that essentially stolen from them through Covid lockdowns. The fact that they are comfortable enjoying just being as they are instead of being in a rush to get to the next stage is a really good thing and much more mature than any urge to put on a display of faux adulthood.

The 20 somethings I know and work with are ridiculous. Such utter babies - they have zero resilience. The teenagers are great - I find them very refreshing and they have good work ethic, no general knowledge, but good work ethic!

Well put.

You have to consider that young people nowadays are pushed into a longer education whether they like it or not. 40 years ago, many 16 year olds would be starting their first job (or joining the dole queue).

I agree with you, they are definitely more childish which I really like! Plenty of time to be a ‘grown up’. A female family friend was still having sleepovers at 17, I was going to pubs and clubs at that age.

Yes, I think they're more childish and I think it's a bad thing.

I think we've overall gone too far on the delaying life thing - including only having kids in late 30s etc. It's a cultural narrative which tells you that the best years of your life are when you're young and carefree and not responsible to anyone (whether that's kids' welfare or the sanity of other passengers on the bus). Instead of when you're a full contributing member of society who's proud to be a useful, responsible person living a full, interconnected life.

Absolutely. As a teen i worked from age 13, every weekend and every school holiday, i was used to having conversations with adults and could even answer a telephone. I could travel the length of the country on my own, could cook, clean and do my laundry. I also understood that if i wanted anything it was up to me to save for it. These days we treat young children as mini adults, involving them in decisions that they shouldn't be involved in yet as soon as our children start secondary school we treat them as toddlers. It is the parents who are to blame for our babyteens.

I think I was like that back in the 90s, sounds like they're just having fun which is nice.

I do think teens are babied more though actually, like my DD is 13 and does stuff like make cups of tea, simple meals for herself, she can do stuff in the kitchen, i'm teaching her to use the washing machine- stuff like that. She says an awful lot of her friends can't do anything, absolutely clueless when they to cookery in food tech for example.

And some of her friends aren't allowed to do things alone like get a bus to town to go shopping

We know the brain doesn't stop developing until mid to late 20's. I think it's great if kids are less grown up and less desperate to grow up now. I don't really see it though, I just think people get to the age where their brain has fully developed and then they incorrectly start believing that those younger than them are far more immature than they ever were.