No Christmas card from my baby

[mumtoababygirl]

This year is my first Christmas as a Mum. It took us over a decade to have our baby. I asked my DH back in November if he was going to get me a Christmas card from the baby, he said yes.

I know it’s silly and I know it’s not really from her, but I just would love something that said Mum on it.

He hasn’t got me one.

I’ve been laid here awake for the best part of two hours being so upset about it. I’ve come to the conclusion that he just doesn’t care about me. I’m not asking for a special, custom card from Etsy, just to pop into Tesco (which he passes) on his way home from work. He knows how much I would love it and it would mean to me.

AIBU to be so upset? It’s just a card and not even actually from my baby?

YANBU. The card wouldn’t be from your baby.

It’d be from your DH to make sure you feel special on your first Xmas as a mum.

If it’s taken years to have your baby, I’m guessing you’ve physically been through a lot, and that takes more of an emotional and psychological toll on the mother (whose body must conceive and carry the baby).

You want that romantic and caring gesture from your DH to acknowledge all your body, mind and spirit have gone through to give him your child.

Tell him how you feel.

But, at the end of the day, it’s only a card and gesture. You have your beautiful baby. Enjoy your first of many happy Xmases together x

That's very lovely but also quite different.

Yes you are being unreasonable. Get a grip OP, sorry.

That's the best course of action, I think.

Didn't you get any cards to you as "mum" when baby was born?

Anyway I reckon he's planning to give you the card on Christmas Day because that would make the day extra special wouldn't it?

If you can't wait (or are afraid he's forgotten) then give him the card you've written to "Daddy" now as a prompt.

Men are bloody useless honestly.
Why don't you get a card and put her little footprint in it with the date and mummy in it.
It will be a lovely memory of her first Christmas.

Maybe as he knows it means so much to you, he’s saving it for Christmas Day?

Sorry but you are being ridiculous.

It’s so much more special in a few years time when your child makes you a card.

juat now it’s just your DH giving money to Clinton cards or wherever

I understand this, when ours was born his family got him a 'dad' mug. I never got anything with mum. At 3 yo I finally bought myself a 'mum' mug.

I might seem silly to some, but I would have loved a mum card or present, but I never get them.

I feel like there's a decent chance he'll be planning it for Christmas day? Me and DH swap cards on Christmas day

Ignore the nasty people on here, clearly they're stressed with the build up to Christmas.
You don't have to beg for a card just gently say you're worried he might have forgotten. Or ask when he thinks you should exchange cards from the baby. I still have the first Christmas card my DC sent me 40 years ago.

I'm not sure that a card from a baby is really a thing. But if its important to you remind your husband.

OP there are some truly awful comments on here and I'm sorry that you came here looking for support/perspective and have been spoken to like this. I don't think it's weird, I don't think you're stupid or shallow, and I don't think you need to 'get a grip'. There are some really insensitive comments on here aimed at a new mum who's feeling all sorts of emotions.
I understand where you're coming from, even if I think you may be slightly over reacting. I don't think many dads think like we do about the sentimental things. I think you need to remind him of the card. He's probably just forgotten.
I've kept all the cards from my children from their first Christmases etc. And I even have some that I gave to my mum who's sadly no longer here.

I understand the card is important to you @mumtoababygirl but what I don’t understand is why you’ve not given his card to him. What are you waiting for? He’s possibly waiting for you!!
If Christmas cards aren’t his usual tradition, he may not know you want it now and not on Christmas Day to open?!!

If you’d given the card and not got one back, I’d totally get it but you’re being silly over not giving him his card which may prompt “and here is your mum card”.

How do you know he hasn't got one (and isn't intending to get one before Christmas)? You haven't given him his one, does he know you've got him one and he has confirmed he hasn't got you one? If so... why not just remind him? If it's wanting to see a card with "mummy" on it, remind him.

See I would never think to do this for Christmas.

I would get something like that for mothers or Father’s Day but never Christmas Day.

I feel that Christmas is more about the kids themselves.

So I would get ‘baby’s first Christmas’ things and sign it from mum or dad but I wouldn’t buy or expect anything for being a parent.

If someone wanted something like this for Christmas I would need to be told and I would give it to them on Christmas Day, not before.

OP hasn’t given him his daddy Christmas card and so I think she’s BU to be upset that he’s not given her hers either, as he may have got her one and this is a complete non issue.

I don't think you're being silly at all. It's important to you, doesn't matter if it's important to him or not- you aren't asking much of him!
I'm the same as you OP, I get my partner a little card from baby and print her hand/foot inside. I know it isn't really from her but I think it's lovely all the same. I would love my partner to do something like that for me, he knows it's something that is important to me - but like you, mine never does. First mother's day after baby I was particularly upset about this. I got told I was being silly, that I'm not his mother so why would he buy me a card.

i can understand your excitement for a mum card
you are v silly to lie upset fir hours upset about it when
a) you still haven’t given your “DAD” card yet
b) you did not agree that two hours ago on this date you would exchange your mum / dad cards so why are you picking this precise moment to be upset about it ?
how do you know he hasn’t got you a whole load of mum personalised gifts for Xmas day ?
it’s a very specific need , you have so much to be grateful for for

Put your cards for him out. I'm assuming you buy each other cards and this will prompt him to reciprocate.

It became a joke in our house that DS had 2 sets of handwriting - the legible one when he wrote Daddy's card and the scraggly one when he wrote Mummy's.

Let’s be honest a card from your baby is a mask because what you really want is recognition from your husband that you have had a baby and are doing a good job.

You're being daft OP. When your child gives you cards they have made and written themselves it will be so much more meaningful. If there is something more going on with your husband then address that but not a bloody card purporting to be from your baby.

You haven't given him his yet, but you expect yours ?

Oh shit sorry I forgot! You are quite right, carry on beating a new mum when she’s down! Apologies.

You absolutely do not have to empathise if you think that odd but I think that it says a lot about you that you can’t put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

TBH I think it is an odd request. I get you struggled to get pregnant and you want to savour the first Christmas, but you can't get mad at your husband if he has not done it yet. You could try reminding him....perhaps he wants to give it to you for Xmas. But if you really want something that says "mum" you could get it yourself. What about a necklace of your name your baby name? Maybe your dh feels silly to write a card to you pretending to be a baby.....this is something men would not usually do....