No Christmas card from my baby

[mumtoababygirl]

This year is my first Christmas as a Mum. It took us over a decade to have our baby. I asked my DH back in November if he was going to get me a Christmas card from the baby, he said yes.

I know it’s silly and I know it’s not really from her, but I just would love something that said Mum on it.

He hasn’t got me one.

I’ve been laid here awake for the best part of two hours being so upset about it. I’ve come to the conclusion that he just doesn’t care about me. I’m not asking for a special, custom card from Etsy, just to pop into Tesco (which he passes) on his way home from work. He knows how much I would love it and it would mean to me.

AIBU to be so upset? It’s just a card and not even actually from my baby?

I would never have forgiven my husband if he didn’t get me a mummy card for my first Christmas as one.

Good grief.

I’ve come to the conclusion that he just doesn’t care about me.

Are you sure this is the right conclusion? It might be a bit drastic?

You have a right to really want that card. If he doesn’t get it then I’d order myself a Card, Best Mum pillow, mug etc.

Congratulations on your baby ❤️

It's maybe family traditions as well? Maybe as a child, her Dad made cards from her for her mum and maybe she's been looking forward to it all her life. You might it understand it if you didn't have similar traditions and if you don't give or receive cards. Or maybe she might even just like it for whatever reason, and that's ok

If you’d like something to keep maybe make one like this with your baby this week. All you need is some brown paint (or red/green to mix) & a few stick on accessories). We did one onto canvas for my parents from my eldest and a similar snowman one from youngest that they get out and hang up every Christmas. I painted on the eyes/nose with Posca pens after the footprint dried to avoid bits falling off. Or suggest your OH does something like that. You can also do a bauble with a handprint or footprint and have it glazed. It’s not really my thing but if it’s yours then they are pretty cute.

Great idea to make a hand or foot print - that really is from your baby!

(just don't be like me and accidentally clear out too enthusiastically)

You have just had a baby you really wanted. Isn't that enough?

Jesus. Is this what us causing people sleepless nights? The non receipt of a Xmas card 5 days ahead of Xmas from a baby?

What's the point when you asked him to get you one in the first place? It's hardly heartfelt if you did get one.

Go get a mug that has mum on it then. If it's just the word, buy the word.

It will only actually mean something when it's the illegible scrawl from your actual child.

Let me guess. You struggled with English at school because you can't extrapolate or infer or indeed extract any meaning from the given text. 🤔

I got my very first xmas card when my son was 3 he made it at nursery.
I still have have it.
Hes a grown man now.
It was and still is treasured because he made it it was not got from a shop by someone else just because it was xmas.
It says my Chrispmas mooommy.
With a tree and glitter on it a smowman bits of tinsle.
Its a wonderful mess.
That now livs in a box in the loft.
No matter what cards you get its the first ones they make that mean the most thats what i think.

Our cards went in the post on Thursday. We haven't exchanged family cards (or written them) yet. Probably Monday or Christmas Eve, depending on when DS buys his.
Plenty of time OP.

Stop being so dramatic.

If you want something that says mum then buy it yourself.

It’s not from your baby.
It’s from your DH who you asked to get you one.
So your point about not reminding him is irrelevant and you might as well just get one yourself.

I can’t see how you can compare him not giving you a card from your baby to not caring about you.
It sounds like you are trying to start an argument.

When will you give him his dad card?
I assumed cards would be given on Xmas day?
Surely you wouldn’t give cards to people who live in your own home before Xmas.

I don’t understand why you don’t but your baby a card and just sign it with mum.
The baby’s first Christmas is quite special but the focus should be on the baby and not you as the mum.

Do you feel a bit jealous of the attention your baby is getting?
It can be a big adjustment when you’re used to just the 2 of you.

Yes it is inconsiderate. If you have to remind at this point you may as well buy one for yourself! I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he doesn't care about you though, that is a bit of a stretch.

I'm a stepmum and I have always ensured my SC have a card and presents to give to my DH for his birthday, Father's Day and Christmas. No excuses.

Maybe he will give you a card on Xmas day. My husband gets one from me then - not before.

You know that the OP's issue and reaction is completely bonkers. Nothing to do with my English skills (I did fine in school and at uni btw).

A perfect illustration of how different we all are, and that's fine. I would never even have thought of this, but I have zero sentimentality, so that's just me. I don't like hand or foot prints, keeping hair or teeth, for example, that kind of thing creeps me out.

But ..... If it is important to you, you need to set the standard clear with your DH. He's probably, like me, less sentimental, and just not on the same wavelength, rather than being uncaring or unfeeling.

People are being such arses for no reason.

It’s means something to you and your Dh knows this.

I’ve just done the same for my dd from my dgd (no partner). I knew that it meant a lot to her.

Maybe he’s waiting? It sounds like a lot of emotions are tied into this (which is understandable after years of trying for a baby). Give him his daddy card, he might surprise you.

In all honesty I think this is another example of the commercialisation of Christmas and forgetting what it's really about. And the true meaning is lost in all the tatt that's now around.

When I was a child, there was no such thing as Christmas cards with 'Mummy' on them or mugs etc. And the pressure to buy or receive them. Christmas was really for the kids.

When we were older and could buy a card ourselves for our parents, we did.

I'm a gran now. Am I supposed to get a card to 'granny'? From a 6 month old baby? Nope. It never crossed my mind.

Did DH ever buy cards for me from a baby? No.
Did I even think about this? No.
Did my kids make cards at school for me for Christmas. Yes and that was nice.

I don't buy DH a card and he doesn't buy me one. We say 'happy Christmas' instead.

My late dad didn't believe in giving cards to family who you see on the day.

What on earth is the point in paying £3 for a card made in China just to 'prove' your baby loves you and has 'Mummy' on it?

OP you've got the rest of your life to receive those cards when your child understands what they are buying or making for you.

😂
How do some people get through the hurdles of life....?

‘Jesus’. Have people forgotten to show any empathy towards others?

Maybe you struggle with English because using 'extrapolate' here in this sense is incorrect.

Its something that would make you happy and it's easy to do so he should do it

It's in AIBU not 'Parenting'.

It's a forum where people ask if they are being reasonable.

We don't have to empathise if we think it's an odd thing to expect.

Slightly different because my DS1 was in NICU on Christmas Day and we didn’t know if he was ever going to come home to us - but on Christmas morning there was a homemade card on top of his incubator, with a Polaroid photo of him inside it, with ‘to Mummy and Daddy’ written in it. The NICU nurses had made one for each of the NICU babies to ‘give’ to their parents. This is one of my most treasured possessions.

OP - given your long wait to have your baby, I do understand. Talk to DH and have a lovely Christmas. 🌷