This bloody dog will be the death of me

[captainPugwashh]

I love him to bits but fuck me hes outdone himself this afternoon

Went out to pub and had a lovely time. Came home to him bashing into thing and staggering about with a nice pile of sick in the middle of the only rug we have (why do they always do that) quickly rush him to the vet who asks what he ate. He ate bread dough and vommed it all back up. The yeast was fermenting in his stomach and he was effectively drunk.

They could feel something in his tummy so he was sedated and x rayed. He had coins in his intestine and a Lego action man. So he's had emergency surgery today and has cost me &
£1600. He'd eaten 27p in coins fuck knows how or when!

How old is the dog you ask? 17 years old no shits given.

He also chewed off the vets shoe lace when he was brought back to me as the vet was telling me what he had removed from his stomach. He didn't swallow that thank God.

My parents dog has done that too 😂

All hail Simon!

Our late lamented Lab only went for actual food and cat shit. His misdemeanours included:

• A whole Victoria sponge
• A whole loaf of bread
• the contents of the bin after I'd cooked a full English for 10 (was shitting foil, eggshells and all sorts)
• a whole cooked crab he found in the park 🤷‍♀️
• 18 mince pies in one go
• and his piece de resistance: four packets of Atora suet - he was shitting dumplings for a week 😂

I grew up with corgis. I'd love a Lab x corgi. Apparently a corgi could mate with a Great Dane but it would still be the size (height) of a corgi.

What park do you go to?!

omfg crying with laughter here. Chewed the vet’s laces ……. Fs hysterical , but hope he’s alright op

and his piece de resistance: four packets of Atora suet - he was shitting dumplings for a week 😂

He looks so innocent- looks are obviously deceiving in his case.

Labrador chewed the zips on cushion covers. I replaced, did it again. And so one. She's had at least a dozen. Plus my zip up dressing gown. Shoes, boots. My beautiful wool rug. Handbag, the bins of course. Two wallets after she carefully removed and chewed every credit card, driving licence etc.

She's never touched money though.

21 months. Please tell me she'll grow out of it.

This cost us (well, PetPlan) a couple of quid shy of £7,000 last Christmas. She didn't eat it, to be fair - she rolled on it, got it embedded in her flank, and we had a five-month saga involving multiple surgeries and the world's most horrific exploding abscess. We have an artificial tree this year.

I hope Simon is on the mend soon. He's gorgeous 💕

Ear buds. I've lost two sets. She drinks out of my bedside glass of water too.

One Christmas our spaniel was having a poop something sparkly emerging. I stood on the end. Four foot of bloody tinsel appeared.

Another Christmas tree, Labrador one. Kept in the dining room. Some chocolate decs at the top. We sat down for lunch. The tree behind husband slowly fell towards him landing square on his head scattering ornaments across the table.

This one ate her bed - just why?

This really isn't a big deal, just a mistake 😅

Wee arsehole ate a friend's red Thai soup. You can just about make out the perfect circle from the bowl round his fat face.
He's a Shiht Tzu and they genuinely do not give one shiny Shiht.

Look at those big brown eyes though
<forgets millions of past food misdemeanours and melts with love>

This is Dobby - he is a chihuahua.

You can probably guess what he loves to eat from my username 🤣🤣🤣

Last dog’s finest hour was a bag of oatmeal. Didn’t think he’d eat that, having carefully made sure the bread etc was locked away. Came back from work to find the kitchen floor an inch deep in fucking oatmeal. At 3am he let out an unearthly groan and I had to take him out in the snow and wait for ages while he shat out 99% oatmeal poos.

Current dog 1 used to have a thing for socks. Unfortunately she was extremely sneaky so was never caught in the act, only when the evidence reappeared.

Dog 2 just costs us money in many, many ways (under chin abscess with a stalk of grass stuck in it, then diagnosed with hip dysplasia at 5 months. One total hip replacement and £6500 later, she’s once more free to wreak havoc by never flipping stopping getting in the bin when my back is turned.)

Me too, I mean it would be awful for the neighbours but it is so funny😂

Grown up child has a golden retriever puppy. On the phone to them a couple of nights ago and suddenly they stopped talking to me and started shouting stop eating the lawn, stop eating the lawn. I nearly fell over laughing. Simon is a legend.

See, you just don't get this with cats 😆

My dog went through a phase of chewing things as a puppy, but mostly concentrated on things he couldn't damage, such as radiator pipes. However. His second christmas was the first time he lived with a christmas tree ( only 3 months old for his first and I thought better of it), and he was obsessed with knocking just one bauble off the tree to play with. They were sturdy plastic, too big to fully fit in his mouth (he's a pug), and he just wasn't a strong chewer, so after the umpteenth time of putting the same bauble back on the tree I thought fuck it, let him keep it. It was gold and glittery, and he concentrated on scraping it with his front teeth. Then on christmas morning, he produced a beautiful glittery christmas poo 😂

One of our springers got to my husband's new debit card when it was delivered-it looked like a 3D sculpture. The cashier at the bank was a true dog lover-when I produced it as proof, the first thing she said was "is the dog all right?". (She was)

Ours has just had a large rock cut out of his intestines. Should be coming home this morning, rather doped up and sorry for himself but digestive system successfully repaired.

He's a very handsome Cardigan corgi, not far off the size of a labrador with short legs.

Why did he eat the rock? I don't know. Personal reasons. He got it all the way through his stomach too.

He just looks like he's thinking "And .....?" 😂

Well, what a way to start my morning - a cup of coffee and reading the updates on this thread!😂Brilliant - it never gets old! 😂

He is utterly gorgeous ❤️

My 9 year old lab when not even a year old, ate the kitchen flooring twice. Ended up just putting a mat over the bit he chewed. Eaten the cupboard door too, fixed that. He ate 1/2 a bag of dog biscuits 3kg worth of food. Other lab ate the plaster off the wall. Labs are so bloody greedy 😆

<cries> In honour of this thread I was awoken by Dog 2 at 5am when she had diarrhoea on the bedroom floor. She got into the bin yesterday and ate a chicken thigh (with bone) and homemade baked beans.