This bloody dog will be the death of me

[captainPugwashh]

I love him to bits but fuck me hes outdone himself this afternoon

Went out to pub and had a lovely time. Came home to him bashing into thing and staggering about with a nice pile of sick in the middle of the only rug we have (why do they always do that) quickly rush him to the vet who asks what he ate. He ate bread dough and vommed it all back up. The yeast was fermenting in his stomach and he was effectively drunk.

They could feel something in his tummy so he was sedated and x rayed. He had coins in his intestine and a Lego action man. So he's had emergency surgery today and has cost me &
£1600. He'd eaten 27p in coins fuck knows how or when!

How old is the dog you ask? 17 years old no shits given.

He also chewed off the vets shoe lace when he was brought back to me as the vet was telling me what he had removed from his stomach. He didn't swallow that thank God.

There is a dog called Norris near me always makes me chuckle

Our older JRT is called Gladys. People often say “Oh, my nanna/auntie/mum was called Gladys”, it really resonates with them.

I once found a pile of poo covered marbles in the garden and realised that was where they had gone. I gave them a soak and a scrub and I think we still have them!! Gross animals but very entertaining!

I had to pick up my dog's ashes from the vet yesterday. I said I hoped they wouldn't get too many dogs that have eaten something they shouldn't. She said they've had five already!

I'm really sorry about your dog. I feel like foreign objects increase exponentially over Christmas

Sadly not. Butter is only her main specialism because it is an everyday item.

Chocolate cones into its own at Christmas and Easter. One Christmas I noticed very quickly, so it only needed induced vomiting. She came home with the info that she'll probably be sleepy, but it goes the opposite way in a few cases. She was bouncing off the walls and desperately wanting to play for a couple of hours. I wasn't in a playful mood.

One Easter she got hold of the chocolate overnight, so I woke up on the bank holiday (out of hours prices at the vets) to find melted chocolate vomit all over the house. That was an overnight vets stay, just in case. She was fine...

There was also the time she found a food-smeared plastic bag in the park, and forced it down while running away from.me all over the park. That was, happily, induced vomiting during normal opening hours.

Just as well she is very cute...

My Main takeaway from this thread is a desire to get a corgi. I already have a dog but am broody for a second. I need to focus on the vets bills and talk myself out of it

My border terrier is called Trevor, and my cockapoo Douglas.

Trevor is a VERY GOOD BOY and rarely steps out of line apart from giving Douglas a good shoeing now and then when he needs it. Trevor is, however, an opportunist. Out on walks I have pulled chicken bones, prawn crackers, a whole pizza and some unidentifiable hard block of something yellow and waxy out of his very powerful little jaws; but his favoured delicacy is cat shit, preferably fresh and runny. At home he once got into a rubbish bag and ate a chicken breast, 8 chipolatas, some toast and the remnants of a leg of lamb. He was very pleased with himself until he had to eject a poo the width of his skull the following day.

Douglas is a stone cold thief. I have child locks on all the dustbins otherwise he has been known to dissect used tampons and pantyliners on the sofa, and eat just about any foodstuff inside any wrapper. He is a small, 10kg dog but somehow can reach food in the middle of the dining table - he has carefully lifted down and snaffle whole bags of crisps, and when DH recently played Santa for the local school, Doug found and snaffled (and encouraged Trevor to snaffle) a handful of chocolate coins intended for the children.

Doug also has a penchant for his own poo. He mostly goes outside at 1am (they have a dog door) to crimp one off and then nibble on it undisturbed (no dog kissing in this house), but when he was a puppy he'd go outside and collect frozen turds from the night before and bring them in to thaw on the rug. I also found whole turds in their toybox.

Sorry, my mistake still a bit rude though as he looks perfect

Oh no!! Not the frozen turds brought in! Our border is so well behaved. When she was a puppy she used to chew through cables preferably plugged in ones! We had to unplug everything when we went out, she doesn't do it now.

She will energetically play with anything given to her but if it goes near either Simon or Allen she looks at us as if to say 'oh it's lost forever now' as both are grumpy and will sit or lie down on the thing she was playing with and hit them on the head with. She then spends about an hour trying to get it out from underneath them somewhat like what's the time mr wolf as every time they move she runs away and tries a new angle.

She also buries treats in things mostly fresh air but once under a tree in the garden Simon found a hot dog and now will check the magical hot dog tree.

Her best effort was hiding a chew underneath Simon when he was asleep and then being upset when he woke up and ate it

I’m his lawyer and I can confirm that he didn’t do any of the alleged acts.

Also our border terrier is so clever if she had thumbs she would take over the world. She puts her chews in her water bowl to soften them up, if we give them a filled kong or bone she uses her paw to get out the filling and licks it off her paw instead of chewing the toy.

She has also been known to bark at the back door wait til the old boys have joined her in barking at fuck all because they can't see or hear and then she runs to their shared bed and steals either the warm bit or their chews. She can open our bedroom door by herself (she's 6kg) by biting on our dressing gowns and pulling.

Our elderly retriever is a dustbin on legs but our cocker spaniel puppy can outdo him, especially as she appears to have become partners in crime with the younger cat.

She also buries treats in things mostly fresh air but once under a tree in the garden Simon found a hot dog and now will check the magical hot dog tree

Reminded me, one dog will take a treat outside and bury it (see also bit of *antler that reappears about twice a year) other dog goes outside when shes finished burying, digs up and eats it.
Also one dog as a puppy discovered a cat hiding in a garden many miles from us, to this very day over 10 years later, he still hunts for this cat in said garden. Quite likely that cat has died by now, but must check just in case.

• that bit of antler reappears and tries to kill me, I dont notice it cos all the mud has been licked off and it's the same colour as the flooring until I trip quite dramatically over it, or stub my toe disastrously. That fucking bit of antler cost next to nothing and has lasted years now.

Oh god they're so slippery if you stand on one on flooring that isn't carpet!!

My husband put his back out by standing on an antler the same colour as the floor and slid with one foot down the hall!

Once saw one of my socks get shat out in pieces.

Memorable.

First Labrador we had quite well behaved. We had a garden with either fencing or hedging behind a stone wall six foot high. So never escaped.

One night she was lying in front of the fire as usual. I glanced down and noticed that her belly was moving in the oddest way. Got down quietly put my hand on it. Was like ferrets fighting in a sack.

Said to husband I think Tess is pregnant. He pooh poohed me. Same happened the next night. So off to the vets i went.

Two weeks later she gave birth to a litter of six puppies.

We never worked out how the dog had managed to get in and out undetected.

Oh my word! What mix were they??

Was a neighbours yellow Labrador of course. 😁

@justasking111 brilliant!

My DSis' first DDog was an absolute loon (Chocolate Lab so not blessed with much brain). He would eat the tea-towels while and then poo them out but needed her to help with a gentle tug not shock.

Ours ate the best part of a nail brush. Out of hours emergency vet. They induced vomiting.
Brought up said nail brush, some red material (part sock), some green mesh material (no idea) and a lot of grapes (no idea where from, we dont have them at home).
Had he not eaten the nail brush, he wouldn't have been at the vets and we wouldn't have know he's eaten grapes!! The vet repeatedly told us how lucky he was , treatment of charcoal with food to absorb the toxins.

I’ve enjoyed reading all these 🤭 ours licked a toad as a puppy (first night trip to the garden for a pre-bedtime wee) and started foaming at the mouth 🫣🫣 we were on the phone to the out of hours vets and about to get ready to take her in when she took a huge drink of water, shook her head and looked at us as if we were all lunatics for over reacting 🤣🤣

she has gotten hold of my ball of knitting wool, but (as far as I know) not ingested any, just crunched through a few strands so I’ve been having to tie threads together every so often for the last two projects I’ve worked on!

thing she was most proud of must be when she countersurfed and successfully got hold of (and consumed) a whole 6pack of eggs, cardboard packaging included to hide the evidence. There was just one tiny thumbnail sized piece of cardboard in her bed that gave the game away 🤣

thankfully not had anything serious in terms of what she’s eaten which is quite something considering she is a Lab! Still, she is only 1 at the moment, so I am sure there will be things to come🫣

Could the grapes have been raisins? Rehydrated raisins (absorbing the stomach juices) would be grapes...

Were definitely still recognisable grapes, assume picked up on evening walk just before we noticed the nailbrush!