This bloody dog will be the death of me

[captainPugwashh]

I love him to bits but fuck me hes outdone himself this afternoon

Went out to pub and had a lovely time. Came home to him bashing into thing and staggering about with a nice pile of sick in the middle of the only rug we have (why do they always do that) quickly rush him to the vet who asks what he ate. He ate bread dough and vommed it all back up. The yeast was fermenting in his stomach and he was effectively drunk.

They could feel something in his tummy so he was sedated and x rayed. He had coins in his intestine and a Lego action man. So he's had emergency surgery today and has cost me &
£1600. He'd eaten 27p in coins fuck knows how or when!

How old is the dog you ask? 17 years old no shits given.

He also chewed off the vets shoe lace when he was brought back to me as the vet was telling me what he had removed from his stomach. He didn't swallow that thank God.

Love all these stories! We used to have a couple of cocker spaniels. On one occasion DH was sent outside to investigate the rear end of one of them who appeared to be losing part of his intestine! Turned out he’d stolen a packet of sausages from somewhere and the plastic wrapper was filling with gas and appearing under his tail! On another occasion DH brought both of them home from a walk where they’d jumped into a muddy ditch. He hosed them off and put them in the garage to dry off. They managed to open a bag of cement and rolled in it. By the time we found them one of them looked like Gnasher from the Beano and had to had a trim with my dressmaking scissors!! Loved them both to bits and was very upset when they died but we don’t miss the messes they got into.

That's brilliant spanner's are always insane !

One of mine specialises in long grass, and then gets very uncomfortable with it sticking out of her bum,so I have to pull it out. If you see me in the park pulling long grass out of a dogs bum, please say nothing and go throw up away, far away in case my dog eats it.

The other loves to chew balls and for some time we had rubberised balls for the longevity. Many colours. Until I saw multicoloured poo that I had to pick up. So now its chukits and only chukits.

They both found a huge ham joint somewhere in the forest and proudly brought it to me, were most upset when told not allowed. To this day I wonder where the hell they got it from and why it was left in the forest.

One stole my piece of chocolate from my plate. Having never shown signs of wanting chocolate before I thought I'd be ok leaving my plate on the side of the chair while I answered the door. Came back to my chair after putting parcel away, puzzled as no chocolate, noticed dog looking decidely guilty. Have to tell her many many times to drop. Eventually out comes an intact piece of slightly melted chocolate.

So far that's the worst. May it stay that way.

I used to have a doberman who was mad. I left a crate of sparkling water in the hallway once. 2 litres bottles x 10. He took them into the lounge and threw/punctured every bottle. 20 litres of sparkling water in my carpet it looked like a flood it took weeks to dry out.

That dog has since died. I now have a toy breed that's very very small and delicate. Yesterday I put some gifts from my mum under the tree. I didn't realise any were food. I had been upstairs when heard a noise from the other room and came in to find she had been working at a wrapped biscuit box for 2 hours. Looked like a mouse has been at it. Thankfully confiscated before she actually got into the double cookies inside but she was very very close.

happy to say that this is not my dog but it does live within a few miles of us!! 😂

https://scontent-lhr6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/327946146_1235076377220021_7600272648618728408_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=K1TIMml2UQEQ7kNvgHPUasc&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr6-1.xx&_nc_gid=AWPBx_OIB6ltnSnnwleTNtR&oh=00_AYAiyLYXNjjjO97MmMJTm3LgtczphRclBjV2Dc70NPt6Kg&oe=676CC518

.

We had a cat flap-and a nosy springer. We now have a dog flap, after she got her head and shoulders through it and broke it off.

🤣🤣

Awe, made me laugh, he is the cutest. We had a cavalier that snaffled a whole box of quality street once at Christmas, this was back in the eighties, we didn't know that chocolate was toxic to dogs. She wasn't even sick FFS, perfectly fine . She even got the wrappers off fuck knows how, the other dog just sat facing the wall when we came home as if to say nowt to do with me lol

One of mine specialises in long grass, and then gets very uncomfortable with it sticking out of her bum,so I have to pull it out. If you see me in the park pulling long grass out of a dogs bum, please say nothing and go throw up away, far away in case my dog eats it.

Ours eats DD's long hair then her poo comes out like a string of sausages but doesn't come out easily so we have to gently pull it otherwise it just hangs. Having DDogs is an absolute joy isn't it?

I love Simon. That face! I’ve just had to show DH his picture. 🤣🤣

I love Simon!

Our Lab ate 12 mince pies (plus foils) one year. I had them in my bag to take to my class (he ate through the packet). My fault really but the vet kept saying ‘12!’ I was crying. Cost about £800 to make him vomit and then put him on a drip.

I know you can’t tell which dogs will have a reaction to raisins. Therefore you can’t take any risk. Though I suspect after that amount he is not one of the dogs who are allergic..

My dog, yes, a lab, ate a hot cross bun last year so Off to the emergency vet we went. It was only afterwards I remembered that if I’m not careful, he would help himself to my muesli, with no ill effects

Hot cross buns and muesli no longer purchased.

He’s also a bin raider.

My DDog once ate an entire tub of large cod liver oil tablets, I was braced for the aftermath but surprisingly nothing dreadful happened. His coat was beautiful though

my childhood dog ate a box of crayons once, rainbow speckled shit. Also a whole flannel, that went through and we only realised she’d eaten it when it came out.

my current dog cost us £600 recently after eating some rotten fish she found on a walk (don’t ask me how or why a rotten fish was in a bush).

I'm sorry, the bill is eye-watering but almost worth it for the comic genius.

My dog is a jack Russel chihuahua cross and the biggest God damn knobhead known to men. I have to feed the cats on worktops because she will risk life and limb to get at it. She stole their pilchards a few weeks vag and cost me £500 in meds and vet visits because she is apparently allergic to them and spent 4 weeks sitting everywhere.

She has developed vertigo which infinity hysterical given she is only about 8 inches off the floor 🤣🤣

The vet described her as being drunk and disorderly

They are utter picks but we love them.

Mine is 16...so also old enough to know better

My golden retriever is 11 months old and I have to watch her like a hawk. Family round this weekend and she’s been tied to either me or dh on a lead, or tucked up in her crate, or fuck knows what she would have taken the opportunity to have swiped by now.

She said hello to dh brother for 5 seconds and had one of his gloves in her mouth.

A former rescue dog came home with a cooked leg of lamb, still hot. Nearest neighbour was half a mile away, we never asked if they’d lost one.
Another time she and her partner in crime brought an entire deers head, complete with antlers, presumably poachers had killed one 🫣

Sorry chuckling here🤭. Bad for the wallet just before Christmas. But least he's ok. Definitely channelling his lab side. I want to know how the hell he reached the side!! We have a new rescue & his petty thievery knows no bounds. Waltzed in yesterday with whole loaf of bread wrapper & all, that he'd reached from off the top of the microwave! He is a big dog, but I was amazed. He is adorable but, now everything is put in a cupboard... On a plus point the house looks much tidier 😂🤣

🤣 old little dogs are genuinely hilarious

My late brothers old spaniel ate (in no particular order): string of onions, father’s sheepskin coat, the crotch area of 7 pairs of men’s trousers hanging to air after being cleaned, a hole in the back door, part of an indestructible dog basket and the rolls of film from our wedding waiting to go to be developed. He had to be rehomed after DH had to remove the miniature daschund from him one Sunday lunchtime!

My Nan had a dog like that called ‘piss quick’ he had a wee everytime he saw you😂

I'm always wary of meat found on walks. There's semi-regular sausages on a green near us. Not sure if it's a neighbour feeding foxes, or poisoning foxes so we have to be on sausage watch when we go that way to steer him away.

He had to be rehomed after DH had to remove the miniature daschund from him one Sunday lunchtime!

He was eating him?

My Ddog is generally non destructive. But she does have a thing for earplugs, especially used ones. Her dog sitter rang me in a panic once to say Ddog had just eaten a pair of used foam earplugs and I explained it was fine, if I don’t put mine away she always eats them and I don’t know until I’m picking them up in her poo. We agreed she must view them as a tasty snack.