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Original poster

This bloody dog will be the death of me

279 replies

captainPugwashh · 21/12/2024 00:44

I love him to bits but fuck me hes outdone himself this afternoon

Went out to pub and had a lovely time. Came home to him bashing into thing and staggering about with a nice pile of sick in the middle of the only rug we have (why do they always do that) quickly rush him to the vet who asks what he ate. He ate bread dough and vommed it all back up. The yeast was fermenting in his stomach and he was effectively drunk.

They could feel something in his tummy so he was sedated and x rayed. He had coins in his intestine and a Lego action man. So he's had emergency surgery today and has cost me &
£1600. He'd eaten 27p in coins fuck knows how or when!

How old is the dog you ask? 17 years old no shits given.

He also chewed off the vets shoe lace when he was brought back to me as the vet was telling me what he had removed from his stomach. He didn't swallow that thank God.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
crowsfeet57 · 21/12/2024 08:56

I love your dog. He's brilliant! I speak as someone with a 9 stone newfoundland puppy, who I found wandering round the garden with a christmas cracker in his mouth the other day!

GoldFawn · 21/12/2024 09:03

Love him!! Ur post made me chuckle, he's adorable.

Indianajet · 21/12/2024 09:16

This post has both cheered me up as I am obviously not the only one with a greedy dog (yes, labrador) and depressed me as he is only 18 months and I hoped he would grow out of it - obviously not! The microwave is bolted to the counter and has child locks, as does the food cupboard and fridge!

Namechangey23 · 21/12/2024 09:17

captainPugwashh · 21/12/2024 00:44

I love him to bits but fuck me hes outdone himself this afternoon

Went out to pub and had a lovely time. Came home to him bashing into thing and staggering about with a nice pile of sick in the middle of the only rug we have (why do they always do that) quickly rush him to the vet who asks what he ate. He ate bread dough and vommed it all back up. The yeast was fermenting in his stomach and he was effectively drunk.

They could feel something in his tummy so he was sedated and x rayed. He had coins in his intestine and a Lego action man. So he's had emergency surgery today and has cost me &
£1600. He'd eaten 27p in coins fuck knows how or when!

How old is the dog you ask? 17 years old no shits given.

He also chewed off the vets shoe lace when he was brought back to me as the vet was telling me what he had removed from his stomach. He didn't swallow that thank God.

Crikey dogs are the stupidest pet known to mankind. Makes you wonder how they would have survived in the wild to be honest or whether they would have died out with the dodo. Cute and fluffy but brain the size of a pea. Still they manage to make their owners pick up their poo (usually) so there must be something going on up there. Cute and fluffy has a lot to answer for.

AngelicKaty · 21/12/2024 09:19

@captainPugwashh
"Labrador size with Corgi legs" sounds like me! 😂

Oh bless you OP, I LOVE this thread.💖I thought I couldn't chuckle more until I learned your "little shit" is actually called Simon! 😂😂😂 I'm so sorry he's caused you all this extra expense at what is already an expensive time of year, but he sounds (and looks) marvellous!
My Westie is almost 17, with various health problems, but still keeps going (still enjoys his food - not other "stuff" lol - and is up for a daily walk). He has cataracts, so walks into things, his hearing has deteriorated, he can't do steps anymore and his breath is rancid, but he's the only dog I've ever had and I adore him. 😍 However, the one thing that sends me over the edge is his sneezing - it's, how can I put this politely, "productive" - ugh! My living room carpet is currently covered (mostly) with doggy pee pads, but he seems to have a talent for finding small gaps between them to aim his sneezes at. If I'm in the room I can spot him throwing his head back in preparation so I can do a commando dive and roll to get a tissue under his nose before he buries it in the carpet, but I'm not always in the room, so my spot carpet cleaner has become my new best friend!
Your post has made me realise it's OK to be frustrated with an otherwise adorable old dog. 🤗

merlotmerlin · 21/12/2024 09:19

Wish I had £1600 totally spare!

AngelicKaty · 21/12/2024 09:21

@merlotmerlin
I'm sure it wasn't "totally spare" and I'm sure OP could have done without having to find it.

Baital · 21/12/2024 09:24

Simon is indeed a legend. Our DDog is also a dustbin, but has chosen to specialise in getting the butter off the work surface overnight and eating herself sick on it, so I wake up to puddles of melted butter vomit. And then have to discover where she has buried the rest of the block, the sofa cushions and bed in the spare room being the starting point (but not always the end point).

We have no idea how she does it, as she isn't tall enough to reach things on the work surface...

LostPups · 21/12/2024 09:26

captainPugwashh · 21/12/2024 00:58

Here he is

Ahhhhhhhhhh! He is so cute!!!! 🥰

We have a very cheeky, eats everything dog! But I had hoped he would get better as he got older! You've shattered the dream!!!!

Your dog is gorgeous!!! Couldn't ever be cross with that cutey!!

Baital · 21/12/2024 09:28

merlotmerlin · 21/12/2024 09:19

Wish I had £1600 totally spare!

Probably savings for emergencies rather than 'totally spare', and if they have pet insurance then it is usual to pay the vet yourself then claim it back.

Twinkletows · 21/12/2024 09:30

Our dog went through a stage when he was young of eating my daughter's toys and art supplies.
He got into her box of loom bands one day and we had rainbow poo for days.
She didn't want the 2x little rubber stingrays we retrieved from his 💩
Though I was quite amused when picking up his 💩 and there was a gold star in it. It was like a well done for picking up my poo reward.

And the cat has a thing for bobbles (hair ties)....we have to hide all ours so he can't eat them. I still ended up cleaning up bobble sick complete with bobbles that weren't ours (must have been raiding the neighbours houses too!!) .

Original poster
captainPugwashh · 21/12/2024 09:33

merlotmerlin · 21/12/2024 09:19

Wish I had £1600 totally spare!

It wasn't 'spare' it's gone on a credit card and will be reimbursed by the insurance company

OP posts:
SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 21/12/2024 09:35

Oh Simon, you are a card.

Not going to lie, I'd have gone mental. It's our puppy's first Christmas and he's on his best behaviour. The tree is in tact, the pressies are being ignored...
...Just waiting for him to pull some epic shit and end up in the doghouse.

Moveoverdarlin · 21/12/2024 09:35

I love that you went to the pub, so Simon thought ‘fuck ‘em, I’m gonna get pissed on my own, now where is that bread dough?’

AlpacaMittens · 21/12/2024 09:36

This is just the best thread ever. Please keep the stories and the pictures coming!

Thelnebriati · 21/12/2024 09:45

Ddog once pooped out a green poo shaped candle. It still had the wick in the middle.

PugInTheHouse · 21/12/2024 09:49

If we're talking about chewing things my malamute has chewed up 2 cat flaps then once we gave up he has gradually chewed off parts of the door, he can fit his head and shoulders through now, clearly planning his escape. He has chewed a set of Russian dolls that actually came from Russia 20 years ago, our wedding cake topper, the sofa, numerous shoes, recently irreplaceable Xmas decs, photo frames, pictures off the wall, and a million other things.

Mostly he doesn't chew anything when we're out but occasionally he'll just get irritated that we've left him I guess. Usually within the first few mins of us leaving, I check on the camera after a few mins and the damage is done so he sleeps for a few hours after that.

He is nearly 3 and we put Xmas tree up this year and he's not even glanced at it, I have a terrible feeling we will go out Xmas eve and he'll trash it like he did to our sofa last year when he'd never even gone near it before!

PreBlendOils · 21/12/2024 09:56

This handsome chap was Jose. Jose once jumped the fence into the neighbours, dug up and ate their dead cat, threw her up, and then ate her again. It all happened in within a minute and in full view of the neighbours sobbing dc. I've never wanted to harm a dog but I could have murdered him with my bare hands.

Rest in peace Jose, if there is a dog heaven you're probably not in it.

This bloody dog will be the death of me
Nannyfannybanny · 21/12/2024 09:59

I laughed as well, then thought that's probably not appropriate, but I see everyone else has. What a character!

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 21/12/2024 10:03

My 11 year old, stone deaf, mostly blind and sporting a huge mammary tumour, girl must know it's her last Christmas as she won't stop stealing the presents from under the tree and unwrapping them. It's always been her favourite thing to do but this year, she's really taking the piss.

Bananaramad · 21/12/2024 10:12

@PreBlendOils Rip Jose, surely a legend in doggy hell

KeepinOn · 21/12/2024 10:25

You're never going to win with that cross/combo! My dgps had a corgi years ago - they owned a campground with areas for tents, caravans, and statics, and he would take a daily route through the park for his snacks. Everyone loved him, so be of course became the size of a small pony, named Brutus. Great memories! 😄

smellsfishy · 21/12/2024 10:29

Our dogs have only stolen and eaten actual food - a whole large dark chocolate Lindt bunny - didn't know who'd eaten it so both had to have induced vomiting. Turns out they didn't share. Santa's mince pie a couple of Christmas eves ago - sitting at the emergency vet at 11pm having counted the exact number of raisins in another one from the same packet wasn't how I wanted to spend the time!

Whole loaves of bread, whole blocks of expensive cheese, whole tubs of butter - steaks - doughnuts hanging from a string at Halloween. Nothing is safe. I'm always yelling at the family not to leave any food on tables or near the edge of worktops. It's a constant battle. I will lose my mind if they develop a passion for action men and coins.

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 21/12/2024 10:38

PreBlendOils · 21/12/2024 09:56

This handsome chap was Jose. Jose once jumped the fence into the neighbours, dug up and ate their dead cat, threw her up, and then ate her again. It all happened in within a minute and in full view of the neighbours sobbing dc. I've never wanted to harm a dog but I could have murdered him with my bare hands.

Rest in peace Jose, if there is a dog heaven you're probably not in it.

Good lord and the Holy baby Jesus.
I can confirm that your dear doggy is indeed in doggy hell, I have word from the man himself.

Wigtopia · 21/12/2024 10:45

PreBlendOils · 21/12/2024 09:56

This handsome chap was Jose. Jose once jumped the fence into the neighbours, dug up and ate their dead cat, threw her up, and then ate her again. It all happened in within a minute and in full view of the neighbours sobbing dc. I've never wanted to harm a dog but I could have murdered him with my bare hands.

Rest in peace Jose, if there is a dog heaven you're probably not in it.

To be fair, in dog heaven he would have got a 10 out of10 for those shenanigans! 😂 he is likely king of dog heaven with that on his record 🤭🤭