To ask about options in cars for kids who won’t stay in booster seats?

[Nosnowjustrainandwind]

DS will not stay in his. Just won’t. Tried absolutely everything in terms of punishment, explaining he could die, everything. Still does it.

So now since we do have to use the car I need other options. I can put him back in his old car seat for now but there will come a time I physically can’t and what do I do then? (He’s 4.)

Simply go back inside the house.. Shame he wil miss out on xyz because he can't sit still.

Get a 25kg harnessed seat and his maturity will be greatly improved in 2 years

I assume you mean a high back booster type car seat where you use the seatbelt instead of a harness?
Agree with PP get a car seat that he can stay using the harness until he is older

Refuse to take him anywhere. And if you need to, follow it through with not going to wherever you were heading. Give it a few go's and he will soon learn.

It is important to teach them some things are just non negotiable. Safety is paramount.

I feel for you. One of mine did the same. But you need to be more determined than them on this one.

Sorry, but no seat no car trip. What if he wouldn't wear a seatbelt? Or hold your hand near a busy road? Some things are non negotiable.
I was expecting you to be describing a smallish 10 year old on the cusp of being tall enough and feeling a bit babyish, not a 4 year old.

I would definitely put him in his old car seat.

What is he saying when he gets out and what is he saying when you talk to him about it?

I'd inconvenience myself (and obviously him) to walk as much as possible.

'We will walk to the shops today because mammy can't drive in the car because you won't stay in the car seat so we will have to walk.'

'No we can't buy those shreddies because we have to walk remember because you won't stay in your seat and we can't carry the shreddies and this cabbage'.

5 point harness seat. I agree with others u would be waking most places and definitely unable to carry treats etc whilst telling him why on repeat.

I'd put him back in his old car seat. By the time he's physically too big to put him in that, he should also then be old enough to understand that he has to stay in his car seat for safety.

I suppose what I’m asking is what happens when he’s outgrown the old car seat completely. Not going in the car isn’t an option; I have to go to work and he has to go to school.

At 4 he can still use a harnessed car seat, you just need to buy one that goes up to 25kg. The Joie bold is a good example.

Many 4 year olds aren’t mature enough to sit in a booster with an adult belt.

The 25 kg seat should get you to age 6 ish and then hopefully he will have matured.

Thanks, looks like that’s the best option.

Yes, but not twenty four hours a day seven days a week. Make something up that you have to do and walk there.

Buy a new car seat when he grown out of the old one.

Yes, Joie Bold is a good option for this age, assuming you have a top tether point in your car. He might have another year or so in his old car seat too - do you know his weight and height? And what seat is it?

If it's still an issue in a couple of years e.g. due to SEN, there are special needs restraints which can help.

We put DD back in a harness seat then used a week when we didn't have anywhere we had to be, no work or school. Every time she undid the seatbelt I pulled over and refused to move the car till she had plugged back in. I stripped any interesting stuff out of the back seat so she had nothing to play with or look at, I bought a book for myself and a coffee in a thermos and I resolutely ignored any crying, whingeing or tantrumming.

It was a bastard of a couple of days if I'm completely honest, it is very hard to look chilled and pretend to read your book while your child screams, but I knew she was safe, confined and just annoyed and frustrated at not getting her way.

Did spend a fair few hours sat in car parks though 😂 She's a determined little sod sometimes.

She got the message and if she ever showed any signs of reverting I swiftly pulled over, looked at her and said 'do we need to repeat this again? I will not turn the car back on till you are plugged in.'

He doesn’t care.

It’s a maxi cosi pearl I think.

OK the Pearl seats all have slightly different limits but are approx 105cm and 18kg. (Some are 18.5kg, some 17.5kg) - it should say in the manual or on the sticker on the seat somewhere.

Joie Bold needs to be the older one not the i-Bold - tricky to find stock but it is in stock here: https://www.thenurserystore.com/p/joie-bold-r-group-123-car-seat-ember-9-months-12-years

What happens is that you cannot drive him anywhere in a car until he understands that he needs a booster seat until he is 135cm tall.

There is no other alternative option.

When he grows too big for the 5 point harness seat then you will have to think of how you can make this point absolutely imperative to him. You are the adult, he is the child and he has to listen to you. Or you don’t go in a car.

Thanks Bertie. @Hollietree others seem to be saying there are options actually.

Go out for a drive on a miserable, cold and windy day when you have time to spare. Take another adult with you. One of you gets out as soon as he starts messing around and you walk him to wherever you want to go, other one drives the car home.

Plan a lot of trips to fun things that you will drive to. No outings at all that you walk to. Do 1 outing in the morning, 1 outing on the afternoon for as long as it takes. Do it consistently and predictably. And then don't go at all if he doesn't stay in his seat. Don't hold grudges, try again the next time.

Look, it doesn’t work, he doesn’t care. I’m not getting my other child’s hopes up for her day to be ruined either or spending a pointless fortune. I don’t have another adult.

Put him back in his old car seat for now. Children who act like babies in cars must sit in baby car seats....

Why are you saying this to me?

This might not even be an issue, a few months will make a lot of difference to his maturity level

@Nosnowjustrainandwind sorry not trying to be mean - this is just what I would be saying to him that's all!