To ask about options in cars for kids who won’t stay in booster seats?

[Nosnowjustrainandwind]

DS will not stay in his. Just won’t. Tried absolutely everything in terms of punishment, explaining he could die, everything. Still does it.

So now since we do have to use the car I need other options. I can put him back in his old car seat for now but there will come a time I physically can’t and what do I do then? (He’s 4.)

He doesn’t care.

He won’t look childish at all!!! He will look bloody safe!!!!

one day people will take car seat safety seriously! 😡

He’s four?
then he needs to be in a full seat with seat belt, until he’s 135cm
a booster isn’t suitable until that height.

Apologies I’ve triggered you here. I was trying to find a solution to OP managing to get her son into any car seat at all…

Hmm! There is something he cares about! Parent him, he's 4 for gods sake! Any wonder why there are so many teens/older children with no boundaries etc!

A 4 year old should not be in a HBB. At all. Bones do not reach the density required to sit in a HBB until 5/6 years old.
Simple
There's LOTS of worrying misinformation on this thread. Some seats have a 5 point harness and are then usable with the adult seatbelt. This is ENTIRELY down to the size age and height of the child, as to which is safest, and you should use the manual of the seat for guidance.
May I suggest you seek out a professional car seat shop and go for recommendations there, rather than an Internet forum where dog crates and smacking are being suggested.

Straight back into his old seat.

He’ll grow out of it. My 3yr old was an escaping terror and he’s quite sensible now.

I also showed him crash test videos of unrestrained child dummies (not real crashes, just the tests) That worked a treat, didn’t make a big deal of it, just let him watch and answered any questions factually ‘Yes, the child would be dead’

He may not care now. But he may care by the time you have to use a booster.

If not I can only imagine there is more to it than this.
Is it a sensory issue? Does he just run off at other times? What about his other behaviour?
If he just laughs when you are telling him off - then personally I would keep a diary and ideally see a paediatrician.

My 3 children all knew you had to be properly fastened in or Mummy wouldn't drive. This is the basic lesson you have to teach, because eventually he will be able to get out of even a 5 point harness.

A 5 point harness is NOT for babies. This thread is making me so sad at the amount of children being put at risk, for what. Because their parents think they should be adults at 4? A 4 year old should not be in a seatbelted high backed booster. The sooner the law catches up with crash testing and safety the bloody better. Then everyone can keep their child safe, whether they want them to look "mature" or not.

He doesn’t care because he’s too young to understand therefore he’s not old enough for a booster seat. He’d be back in a harnessed seat as no way I’d be negotiating with a 4 year old about what I do or where I go. I have 4 boys, they need to know you will follow through on what you say, so back in old seat and he will do as he’s told. There doesn’t need to be shouting or screaming he’s just not ready, don’t make it bigger than it needs to be. I pick my battles, but safety is something I will not compromise on.

If that were me I would say "You need to sit in your seat to keep you safe. If you wont then we wont be able to go out in the car today. We will either stay home or we will walk" and if that journey was eg 10 miles away I would explain how long it would take to walk there and then say "oh well needs must, lets get going" and start walking. Get 20 mins along and explain well that was a mile............ only 9 more to go etc.

If he isnt bothered......... figure out what does bother him and use that as a "hook". He needs to be safe so you need to ensure that by whatever means.

@user1496146479 there isn’t. He really isn’t arsed. I’m trying to ask about how best to manage the situation.

But I think we’re confused (my fault) he’s in a high back thing with a seatbelt. It is in keeping with the law which obviously doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best option, just trying to explain. And sorry if I sound a bit dismissive but I know the usual advice is - pulling over, not going anywhere, absolute bollocking. I’ve tried absolute bollocking and it just doesn’t work. Pulling over also isn’t possible or practical. We’re often either on carriageways or motorways or on narrow, winding country lanes with nowhere to pull over and no street lamps. That’s incidentally where we live, so not driving is just not an option; we have to.

After my third ‘ripping him a new one’ went unheeded I just have to concede it isn’t working and look at alternatives.

@Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen it a) doesn’t work, he isn’t arsed, but even if he WAS then b) do I say to work I’m not coming today because my kid won’t sit in his seat? He’s not going to school because of the same? Realistically that isn’t happening.

I think 4 is really young for a booster seat. Get him back in a proper car seat. If it’s an 18kg limit and he’s heavier than that, get him a 25kg one. Axkid do one that goes up to 36kg! Yes it will be an additional cost but better to be safe. He will mature as he gets older so give him a couple of years and see what he’s like then.

Read this: https://thecarseatlady.com/when-is-a-child-ready-to-use-a-booster-seat/#:~:text=Young%20children%20under%20age%205,car%20seat%2C%20leave%20them%20there!

it even tells you which seat is best for larger kids that need 5 point harness and has the tightest shoulder straps

Another idea........ the alternative is not going. So Id plan a week off work and school (pretty easy atm seeing as its the school hols for Christmas). Plan a little outing that can easily be cancelled. When he refuses to sit in his seat you go back indoors and have him sit in a very boring spot in your house until he is ready to try again. And repeat until he does sit properly in his seat. If that takes all day so be it. It that means his sibling is angry at him...... maybe that will be the "hook" to get him care. If that takes a week......... rinse and repeat until he finally gets it. Make the whole experience very boring and dull. Dont shout or make it in any way entertaining - just calmly explain and then have him sit on a cushion etc (no screens, books or toys) until he is ready.

Thanks, I’ll have a look.

I can’t plan a week off work and a week off school and a week of doing nothing. Please stop it @Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen , I know you mean well but it doesn’t work and even if it did I can’t organise my life like that.

There's an American device called SafeRider. Not sure if it's legal in the UK but you could look at it online and find out.

I doubt he could get out of it.

Eh? I’m suggesting to OP that she threatens to put him in one if he doesn’t get in his current seat. It’s not up to me what car chair the OP has picked out for her child. I’m suggesting something to say that would matter to a 4 year old. What makes you think she’ll get him in a 5 point seat if she can’t get him in a high backed booster currently? My intention was him being in A chair is better than none.
For the record, my children were rear facing at that age…

Yes, that is EXACTLY what I would do. Because if you cannot get him there safely you have no choice. Plan a day/week off, explain to the school (its Christmas atm so presumably no school anyway? So you can have an easy to cancel outing instead).
If he wont sit in his seat he will either have to walk or not go, its that simple.

I would also investigate whether he has any ASD type issues which might explain his refusal and not caring - but even if that is the case........... he will still have to ultimately learn to sit properly in his seat. Or not go. Guaranteed eventually you will find a lever that will tempt him cos eventually he will realise he is missing out.

My kids were too tall for the strap height of their 5-point harness seats well before they hit the weight limit. Sadly, most car seat manufacturers don’t provide this information easily so it’s hard to compare.

@Nosnowjustrainandwind so you never ever have any time off work? Not ever?

Might as well carry on having him be unsafe in the car then clearly as you arent keen on any suggestions or solutions. Crack on.

You do that then @Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen

Thanks @LovelessRutting , it’s a bit of a minefield and an expense I hadn’t budgeted for.

I’m not looking for the solutions on how to change the behaviour as none work, I’m looking for the solutions about the car seat.