To ask about options in cars for kids who won’t stay in booster seats?

[Nosnowjustrainandwind]

DS will not stay in his. Just won’t. Tried absolutely everything in terms of punishment, explaining he could die, everything. Still does it.

So now since we do have to use the car I need other options. I can put him back in his old car seat for now but there will come a time I physically can’t and what do I do then? (He’s 4.)

Ah well he doesn’t care.

The cybex ones have some higher weight rated seats too ...

Parent your child...if doesn't go in seat you don't go out. Tbh at 4 he shouldn't be in a booster but a proper car seat. Unless got sens he 4 you the parent...he goes in seat or you don't go anywhere..

Do you want people to say “Oh well just drive him around in your car without a booster seat or a seat belt on, he clearly won’t do as he’s told, so just go for it.” Or “I have this magical device that freezes my child so that they can’t move while in their car seats, problem solved.”

Because neither is going to happen.

Not ideal, but after my nephew let himself out of his seat three times while we were 200+ miles from home I found an empty, waited until he started to stand up, and braked sharply. Was only doing about 10pmh but it was enough to really scare him and he's never done it since.

You don't have to spend any money or book anything. You're not getting their hopes up for nothing. They're the ones undoing their seat belt and being dangerous in the car. Just go for a drive and then stop the car if they misbehave. Even if you're just driving to the shop or the park.

Just want to say I was absolutely desperate, had no way of getting another seat and he was already in a harnessed seat.

This it may take a few times, it'll be a pain but oh well. He needs to know safety comes first and he is not in charge.

I probably wouldn't win any parenting awards, but undoing the car seat was the one thing I just absolutely lost my shit over. I generally never yell, which made it more effective I think. But I really yelled - she unbuckled herself on the smart motorway near us, so nowhere to pull over. It's a safety issue, it's non-negotiable, and I just wasn't having it.

I know I will be flamed for this, but here we go...mine get smacked if they undo their seat belts. The only time they get smacked, is if they're purposefully doing something very unsafe, that they know they're not allowed to do. My 3yo learnt to take theirs off during a long car journey, on a motorway, when I was halfway between my house and my parents, so I couldn't "not go out", as was already out! I only had to do it a couple of times ever, and now neither of them ever take their seat belts off. I personally (although others will be along shortly to disagree), think the very, very occasional smack, is better than risking them dying in a car accident. That is, if you have exhausted every other avenue, as you say you have.

If the issue is he undoes the seat belt you can get things to plug into the buckle so they can't undo it. Not ideal but if you did it for a bit he might then not realise when you stop. I have one for my SEN child when he become so deregulated I can't get him to stay in his car seat

He doesn’t undo the seatbelt, just climbs out of it.

He doesn’t care if you lose your shit.

He doesn’t care if you stop the car.

He doesn’t care if you don’t go anywhere (the rest of us however …)

He. Does. Not. Care.

Tried that. Still does it.

Buy a dog crate then.

Why post it you're just going to ignore everyone's help?

Clearly not. What I’m asking is quite simple - the booster seat is a no go and looks like this will be the case for a long time so I need an alternative. At the moment he has an old car seat I can use but he won’t fit in it forever and tbh I hadn’t budgeted for a replacement but obviously needs must.

Because everyone’s telling me what I should do to stop him climbing out of the booster seat and I’m asking for alternatives TO the booster seat!

How old are they? Surely 8/9/10
old enough for cause and consequence.
going back in the house only works if going out is something they want to do.
so I would have a clear withdrawal of thing they do like.

is the seat well padded?
is the seat belt well positioned.
have you got a good kid friendly podcast or audio book on?

my kids hate the car .

Try a harnessed seat like this https://www.halfords.com/baby-and-child/car-seats/baby-car-seats/cozy-n-safe-hudson-group-12f22f3-child-car-seat---black-327198.html?cm_mmc=Google+PLA--Motoring%3EBaby+and+Child%3ECar+Seats%3EToddler+Car+Seats--Motoring%3EBaby+&+Child%3ECar+Seats%3EToddler+Car+Seats-_-327198&gPromoCode=DEAL10&gQT=1

Thanks @IroningThrone

He is 4 - I do say this.

Ah well, back to a 5 point harness seat. Shame he’ll look childish to his friends outside school! Have you tried explaining that big boys don’t need to be strapped in like a little boy but if he can’t be big you’ll have to get him a baby seat again?
It sounds painful!

Crelling harness.

According to the page it's suitable up to age 12.

"Group 1/2/3 Car Seat suitable from 9kg to 36kg (approx. 9 months - 12 years)"

Forgive me if this is just too much extra to think about at this point - but my understanding is that one of the positives of a booster seat over a five point harness is that when forward facing it puts a lot less pressure on their spine in an accident (because the seatbelt is dynamic and allows for some release of force before holding them tight, whereas a harness just holds them in place so the neck is what gets thrown forward). There are some rear facing seats out there that go up to 36kg - Axkid Movekid is an example which is sometimes on offer.

My eldest did this 30 odd years ago, climbed over to sit next to me!! Fortunately I was on a country road, not too busy, I pulled into the first lay by, literally dragged him out, absolutely balled him out, told him he wasn't going in the car again, he could walk home and pretended to get in to drive off without him! He was screaming by then. I stopped, opened the door, he got in, climbed back into his seat, never did it again. Sometimes, the nuclear option is the only one that works.

She can't she has to go to school / work.