I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

I had a friend who lost similar weight and was really upset our friend's did not comment on it. When I asked our friends about this, they said that they had once previously asked friend if they had lost weight and they had not and became really upset. So they were too scared to comment this time.

I've only read the OP's comments so apologies if it's a repeat, but I read on here about losing weight like a kitchen roll. If you're really fat - and I mean high 40/50 bmi - you are a new kitchen roll. Every sheet/pound comes off but it still looks like a new kitchen roll. Then you get to a point where every pound/sheet of kitchen roll makes a much bigger difference to the size of the kitchen roll and suddenly it's half gone. Towards the cardboard roll, every single sheet/pound is noticeable.

My start weight was higher than the OP and the loss a little more right now, but I too am that kitchen roll, very well done @Lilyflame

Well done OP.

But I would never comment on anyone's weight loss unless they said something like "Do you think I've lost weight?"

Many years ago my cousin was looking really slim and I made the mistake of saying "Wow you look great, have you lost weight?"

She replied with "Are you taking the piss? No I haven't but I clearly need to then!" 🤦‍♀️

She didn't need to, and she did look much slimmer than usual but apparently it was just the dress and the Spanx she was wearing.

Yes it's a real minefield mentioning weight.

At an event in the summer I noticed my friend's DH had lost a load of weight and looked fantastic, but for all I knew it could have been down to an illness. I could check with her and she confirmed it was deliberate, but it's a really tricky area.

Unless I have been specifically told someone has lost weight deliberately , I restrict myself to saying they look well or that dress looks fabulous on them.

Honestly you cannot win these days if you mention someones weight it (like everything else) is seen as a bad thing

There is girl Debbie, at my work who recently lost a couple of stone and she talks non stop about it, suddenly started dressing very differently,but she looked good
One day when Debbie was talking about it (again) - one of the ladies said 'Yes you can really tell you have lost weight, you look great' and Debbie ripped her head off. Considering it was Debbie who instigated yet another conversation about her weight, she snapped at this lady and said 'well that is the whole point of it, ISNT IT, so people notice, no, no?'
And my colleague was trying to be nice sat there with a red face wondering what she had done wrong.
However I found Debbies comments strange, most people lose weight for health or to feel better, not to expect comments from people

My work place is the opposite. SO far ive lost 18kg and get "have you lost weight?" "Omg youve lost so much weigh!" "you look completely different" "its changed your entire face" "youll dissapear if you lose any more" (im still a size 16 so unlikely) daily.

However, its a team of over 300 people. I can go months not seeing people, those i see all teh time however havent said anything at all, its only when i point it out they say oh god yeah i can see it now. Being with someone all the time makes it less noticable.

Well, we've noticed!

I'm in awe at your achievement!

4 stone loss is huge so WELL DONE! 👏🏻

I agree people just don’t want to put their foot in it by saying the wrong thing but I’m sure given the healthier outcomes for your mind and body the people who love you will be delighted.

congratulations I know how hard it is to lose weight, still trying myself lol.

You've done amazingly and I can understand why you're miffed that nobody has noticed.

However... I have a colleague who was a similar weight and has had a similar loss, but because it's been gradual and sensibly controlled it's not immediately noticeable IYSWIM? The loss is all over, and probably not helped that we wear uniform so never see her in "new" clothes. If she'd crash dieted and lost a ton of weight in 6 weeks then it would be far more obvious.

I also feel really bad mentioning weight in case I fuck it up 😬

People find it rude in the UK to comment on it.

I noticed my friend have lost weight and I told her; she felt very happy about it. My very English DD1 was a bit shocked I commented; I knew my friend would be pleased as we are not English

Well done OP, great achievement.

My Dsis has recently lost a lot of weight and I have commented, mainly because she has updated me on her progress throughout so it feels normal to engage. In general tho, conversations about weight make me feel stressed due to yrs of an eating disorder (under control for now).

My Dsis and i met up with family recently and nonone commented on her significant weight loss. It was odd because if it was a change of hair colour or other identifiable change like a tattoo it would definitely have been discussed. I think weight throws up all kinds of emotions for people - shame, jealousy, embarrassment among them. Dont take it personally and stay motivated to your plan. After all, you are doing this for you!

That’s great! I’m very jealous 😄. I have had friends lose lots of weight and decided not to say anything, because I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. I worried it would come across like “oh you look great NOW, you used to be so big and fat”. It’s awkward! But they will 100% have noticed, and if you bring it up in conversation I’m sure they’ll chime in with supportive and congratulatory comments.

Saying "wow you look great, you've lost weight" is actually saying "I really thought you were properly chubby you know and looked gross"

So best not to comment.

I've only lost 1/2 stone in a few weeks and several people have noticed. I'm tiny, though, so it does make a noticeable difference. One person did ask if it was intentional, though. 4 stone is amazing; well done!

If you're my friend: I noticed and I did say! I don't really see anything wrong with saying so, doesn't mean you didn't look good before, I can just see when someone has made an effort.

I think they do not know the reasons behind the big weight loss. So they might think it is too sudden, why etc....and how would you feel if the comment comes out in a questioning way

I think some people are a bit afraid to comment nowadays. My mum lost a lot of weight a few years ago and she was hurt that nobody said anything, but some people are a bit offended when it's mentioned in a complimentary way, like "gee thanks, was I not good enough before?"

I told my cousin once that she looked amazing after losing some weight, and it turned out she's been in hospital and really quite unwell. I felt awful!!

So it's not that nobody has noticed, I promise you. Well done, I know how hard it can be! I hope you feel great 🙂

Haha! Someone asked me if I was pregnant in a sauna. I was 60.

I lost 5 stone. My MIL told me my haircut (which was the same as I had always had it) was really flattering, as it made me look as if I had lost weight.

I don't comment. A family member lost lots of weight. He's really ill. I'm not risking anything.

my friend lost two stone a few years ago and everyone told her she looked amazing / the best ever etc.
she actually had stomach cancer.

Well done OP.
People are most likely being polite not commenting, but also winter coats and jumpers hide several stones!
For people you see regularly, unless you've lost it very rapidly, maybe they’re just used to your appearance, like you don’t notice your own kids getting taller.

But that can backfire, what if they're not trying, then what? You suggest they see their GP! Awkward!!