I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

I rarely comment on other people’s weight loss, because as a yo-yo dieter, I am irritated when other people comment on my weight loss approvingly. To me it highlights that they disapproved of my being overweight.

I do think people don't like to comment on weight anymore. I definitely don't as I know it's complex.

HOWEVER. I am very proud of you! Amazing achievement, well done!

I don't think people really comment on other people's weight these days, which is probably for the best. Last year I had lost a quarter of my body weight through illness and people did not comment.

They have definitely noticed. They're not saying anything because they don't want to make a big deal of it.

You mention that you've lost weight before and they've said something. I think that if you've lost and gained and lost weight a few times, people mention it a lot less (I speak as someone who has lost weight a number of times myself!)

Honestly, don't worry about what other people think or say. You don't need them to be your motivation. Keep at it - you're doing brilliantly and I bet you're looking great.

Well done. I'd just be telling everyone if I lost 4st. People on the bus would know.

Indeed. I lost 4 stone thirty years ago and preferred people not to tell me how "Well" I looked, because it confirmed I looked like shit before.

I never comment on a person's size. Trust me, OP, they HAVE noticed.

I wouldn't comment, also if it's gradual weight loss and they see you regularly they may not notice. If you want people to congratulate you then tell them you've lost weight and are feeling great and they will

Well Done OP. That is a great achievement. I hope you can treat yourself to some new clothes. I wish you all the best.

You did it for yourself.
your own achievement should be satisfaction itself.

it’s really impolite to comment on people’s weight.

did you want someone to say “you look better now, you used to be a right ol porker”

You have lost it gradually, so if they see you regularly that might not have noticed. If they looked at a before and after photo, they would probably say something.

I've lost 3 stone and get a lot of 'you look well' type comments but no blatant weight loss ones. People are just being polite!

I’ve also lost four stone but I lost it due to cancer. Now I look like a skeleton and everyone comments. It’s not the best feeling to be honest.

I lost 3.5 stone and nobody mentioned it until I was at a class one day and one person congratulated me and suddenly everyone joined in!

I think people think they shouldn't comment these days due to ' body positivity' and all that. One friend has still never mentioned it in over a year.

Ok, I understand a bit better now.
this point is the lowest I’ve been for 10 years so I’m pleased I’ve got a handle on it.

What's quite interesting is that I have had a few comments along the lines of 'don't go mad though, you don't want to end up looking gaunt or scrawny.' In my late 50s I am obviously aware of the effect on one's face, but I can deal with that later. Surgery or fillers. I'd rather be slim and far healthier with less stress on my joints.

The funny thing is that although I look and feel pretty slim now, with a fairly small waist and flat tummy again, and I'm able to buy a size 12 most of the time, sometimes even a 10 if it's M&S, I am still a good few pounds off being in the 'healthy' zone on the BMI chart. I'd have to get to 8 and a half stone before I'm even in the middle of it and I think I'd probably die of organ failure and starvation before I reached anything like the lower end of the healthy range. I know my own body and I just don't think I'm capable of ever getting there without developing an eating disorder.

Good for you

I lost 2 stone (12 down to 10 - went back to a bmi of 22 from being on the verge of overweight) about 10 years ago and one of our neighbours commented on it. But the way she said it (and very publicly in front of others) just came across as a bit of a back handed insult about my start weight. She really laboured on about how I’d lost ‘ALOT’. She has a bit of a reputation as vindictive and never having a nice word to say about anyone, so that didn’t help.

Then a lady who works at a local hair/beauty salon who I know quite well lost weight and had clearly started working out a lot. She looked amazing and when I saw her I told her so, but as soon as I said it I felt a bit awkward. She said thank you and smiled but I suddenly got really paranoid that it had come across as patronising.

So it’s a tough one.

Because we are not allowed to comment on anything anymore for fear of offending people so we all just keep our mouths shut, no one wants the drama!

It’s a great achievement…well done.
But no one would dare comment if someone had put on 4 stone.
i still think you deserve a round of applause 👏🏼 xxx

Rarely have I seen such a level of agreement on Mumsnet! But I agree, people are incredibly nervous about commenting on other people's weight.

As someone who is struggling to lose one stone atm I think you have done an absolutely amazing job, and no way should you feel down. I'm sure people have noticed, even if they haven't mentioned it.

Yes I think there is this great fear that if you say 'Wow, well done, you look great' the response might be 'So I looked shit when I was fat did I? And now I am slim I am automatically more successful. How judgemental.'

I’ve noticed that a school mum has lost loads of weight, I think she’s done great but I just don’t think it’s polite to comment. However another mum I am much closer to also lost weight and I felt comfortable mentioning it because we do a lot together. If someone is a friend I would definitely say something about it.

Congratulations!

My MIL has recently lost 3 stone (she's very short & as it turns out has a tiny frame so it's very visible) & kept discussing her "weigh day" etc she was upset with DH later than neither or us nor the children had mentioned her weight loss.

i was brought up being told that it's incredibly rude to comment on people's bodies and our children have been taught the same. DH hadn't noticed because she's his mum so he just sees his mum & he was just delighted to see her.

So please assume your hard work is visible to others but they dont want to be rude/offend you.

I've lost two and a half and it's only in the last half that people have started mentioning it. I found this the last time I lost weight too - small amounts often don't register with others, especially if they see you a lot.

Well done on you weight loss, sounds fantastic!

It is an absolute minefield to comment on someone's weight so I just never would. Sometimes weight loss is not a good thing for someone/not intentional so it can be insensitive to mention it. It can also create the false impression that you think they look better thinner.

Saying that, when I lost a lot of weight (intentionally) I did get several comments, but only from close family and friends who knew me well and knew I wasn't ill or anything.