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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bf on works Xmas do but not texting me

119 replies

Beepop22 · 19/12/2024 23:33

He’s been out since 3pm and was texting me up until around 8:30pm now it’s 11:30pm and complete silence but yet he keeps appearing online ?????? He does this everytime he goes out ? Is this strange

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 19/12/2024 23:35

Hmm. This isn't one of those threads where he said he wouldn't stay out late so now he wants to avoid you asking when he'll be back? Or one of the ones where you have to pick him up at the end of the night? 😒

GluggleJuggle · 19/12/2024 23:35

No. It is normal. You don't have to constantly be texting and so not socialising with those you are out with. So many people miss so much of life because they are constantly on a phone.

Ihatemondays1962 · 19/12/2024 23:36

He may just be enjoying a night out, there is surely no need for constant texting.

murasaki · 19/12/2024 23:37

Why are you checking to see if he's online? Unless you have to pick him up or let him in, leave it, it's his work party.

JockTamsonsBairns · 19/12/2024 23:37

Genuinely, what do you need him to text you about?
I'm guessing he's out out?

Do you trust him? Has he got previous form for cheating?

Can you just kick back and enjoy your night alone, or is something bothering you?

DaniMontyRae · 19/12/2024 23:37

Why does he need to be in constant contact with you? Just leave him to enjoy his evening. It's pretty rude to be using your phone a lot when out with others.

millymollymoomoo · 19/12/2024 23:37

Why dies he need to be texting you

i wouldn’t have messaged at all while out

AhBiscuits · 19/12/2024 23:38

Why are you texting him? Leave him alone to have fun. When I was on my work do I sure as shit was not constantly texting my husband.

Scutterbug · 19/12/2024 23:39

We wouldn’t contact each other if out for a night. It’s supposed to be about having fun not keeping touch with somebody back at home. Leave him be.

Itisjustmyopinion · 19/12/2024 23:41

There seems to be so many threads like this at the moment. I would be pissed if my partner text me when I was on a night out or expected me to text them. Same as he would be annoyed with me.

Let him enjoy his night

ECJW98 · 19/12/2024 23:42

This seems a bit possessive - he is out at an event - he shouldn’t need to be messaging you all night to stop you jumping to conclusions. Leave the poor man be to enjoy his night.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/12/2024 23:43

My DH is at a work do tonight. We last spoke at about 7.30 this morning. He'll be here in the morning when I wake up. It hasn't occurred to me to text him.

JingleB · 19/12/2024 23:44

The man’s on a works night out. Leave him to it.

If a bloke were posting that about his female partner going out and not texting we’d (rightly) say he was controlling and it was a red flag.

GCAcademic · 19/12/2024 23:44

There is no way I would be with a partner that expected me to be in constant contact on a night out. YABVU.

JustTalkToThem · 19/12/2024 23:45

Does he not have his keys?

Oreyt · 19/12/2024 23:47

He's done well to text you upto 8.30pm really. Stop checking WhatsApp it will send you crazy.

MumonabikeE5 · 19/12/2024 23:49

Why would he be messaging you when he’s out?
apart from to say “I’m on my way home”

Ponderingwindow · 19/12/2024 23:49

If DH is out, I don’t feel the need to communicate unless there is something specific that comes up. It doesn’t have to be an emergency, it can just be something that would make my life much easier if I had a piece of information. I still try to save contact for something meaningful. We don’t need to chat.

Emotionalsupporthamster · 19/12/2024 23:50

It is normal to focus on the people you’re actually with on a social occasion rather than keeping in constant contact with someone who’s not there.

murasaki · 19/12/2024 23:51

Ponderingwindow · 19/12/2024 23:49

If DH is out, I don’t feel the need to communicate unless there is something specific that comes up. It doesn’t have to be an emergency, it can just be something that would make my life much easier if I had a piece of information. I still try to save contact for something meaningful. We don’t need to chat.

This. DP is rarely in the last ten numbers texted from my phone. If we do, it's because it's urgent.

ilovesooty · 19/12/2024 23:55

Agree with the others. I don't see why you're texting him or expecting him to text you.

Endofyear · 20/12/2024 00:32

I don't understand this wanting your partner to text you on a night out - he's enjoying his Christmas night out, leave him alone! It would drive me mad if my partner was texting me when I'm on a night out 🙄

Mymouseisonfire · 20/12/2024 00:37

I don’t get this at all. He’s on a works day/night out.
Dropped my DH off at 7 and didn’t expect to hear from him till at least midnight for a lift but he txt just as I got home about what he was eating and then again asking me to get there for 10pm to get him. Either way I certainly wouldn’t have expected to hear from him as he was busy.

EvieR · 20/12/2024 00:38

Why does he need to keep messaging?

I had my xmas night out,messaged before I went out and then DP heard from me in the morning (hotel overnight).

Unless you have other reasons to worry, give him a break.

Enko · 20/12/2024 00:39

Well I'm clearly a very poor wife as I left at 2 30 p. Gave a quick text to say I'd areived safely and its now almost 1 am and I've not made contact with dh.

BTW nor would I expect him to do so if he was out.