To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

[Santaslittlehelper83]

So a family member has just told me that every year with the kids Xmas presents they rip off every label from presents that have been given, then tell them that all the presents are from Santa! I mean...wtf. I feel it's an odd thing to do, and also nice for the kids to know who has got them what and to appreciate and thank them for it. I've now written in sharpie across all her kids gifts! AIBU?

Don't be so dramatic.

It was a bit tongue in cheek, but I can see how that would be missed by people who live in Fantasy Santa Land.

Your sister is being unreasonable. Saying everything comes from Santa means that her child’s friends that live in poverty and get no presents, think that they’re on the naughty list, just because they’re poor. Santa brings one small gift, or does the stocking of cheap toys/ chocolate

It's ridiculous. Father Christmas fills stockings and other presents are from who they are from. Don't get this nonsense about buying presents and sending them to FC to be delivered either, it makes no sense.

In our house Santa brings stockings & then one much asked for gift under the tree. The rest are from the giver including anything else we’ve bought for the kids.

The under the tree gift isn’t something massively expensive. One of my kids is getting an Xbox for Christmas, but his Santa gift under the tree will be a Transformer that he’s been desperate for for months.

We do this so the kids don’t go into school proclaiming that Santa brought them an Xbox, when they got something significantly smaller.

However op, each to their own & if your SIL cares to, she could re wrap everything.

I think that whatever way you pick there will be some cracks in the story that the kids just accept. My 6 year old wrote a letter to santa with lots of stuff on it that he will open from us on Christmas day. I am confident that he'll be happy with that! We had to tell him that some of the things he wanted were too expensive, which makes no sense if he's asking santa for them, but again he seemed fine with that. Some version of that must happen if santa brings the big gift (DS wasn't getting the Lego Titanic no matter whose name is on the label) and there's a logical contradiction there, too. It makes no sense to have a price limit on presents if they're all from santa but people who do this must fudge around this if their kid asks for a faberge egg? To be fair, we're not a santa fanatic household - I think he half knows it's a game. We are a religious household, so Christmas has a different magic for us in any case.

Do people really force their kids to write thank you letters these days? We have smartphones now.

I don't do all presents from Santa but some people do and that's fine. It's really not a big deal.

Surely the parents say thank you to the gift giver, the kid is all excited about "Santa" and a couple of years later they don't believe anyway and they say thank you for gifts etc like normal?

And they say thank you for birthday gifts etc when received throughout the year.

I just do not understand people getting this worked up about not receiving "credit" or the correct "gratitude" from a small child.

It’s ridiculous and doesn’t make sense to you, but thousands of families will disagree with you, including me.

IMO your Christmas sounds miserable.

Stocking from Santa, everything else from the person who it's actually from. This way my kids can be involved in choosing presents for other family members and they learn that Christmas is about giving as well as receiving. They are actually very helpful when it comes to choosing gifts for their cousins and they like to help with wrapping too. Thankfully, I don't know anyone who claims all presents are from Santa but I wouldn't be comfortable with it either, OP. I don't like the thought of potential upset when Santa brings some kids multiple expensive gifts and others get a lot less. I hate the idea of any child thinking they haven't been good enough because someone else got more presents than they did.

I don't really understand this? Surely your children should know that presents from grandparents etc are really from whoever bought them?

And yes, gifts ought to be acknowledged by the child. It's a good way to teach them about giving to others and gratitude and manners

See I don't get this either tbh. Kids are going to talk about their presents, whoever they're from, you just teach them how to do it appropriately.

If you get your kid an X box and Sam's parents get him a book and a chocolate orange, it's still a big difference, regardless of whether parents or Santa brings things. Just teach your kids not to brag or be mean like you you would in any other situation.

Again to reiterate, we don't do ALL gifts from Santa either, but some do and I can't say I really think about it much at all (except when reading seemingly endless posts about it on here) let alone let it make me "feel uncomfortable" 🤷

I really don’t understand why Christmas is only magical if Santa brings ALL the gifts. Surely well-filled stocking is magical in its own right? I’d be mighty pissed off if I was spending time and money on a gift and it wasn’t acknowledged by the child. It’s not about gratitude per se, it’s about the child knowing that I love and care for them enough to want to bring them joy. I also don’t think presents are the only thing that makes Christmas magical for children - or at least they shouldn’t be.

What's miserable about receiving presents from family and friends? Do you have a birthday fairy in your world so as not to cause misery during kids' birthdays when they realise that actual people buy them gifts...?

You might not like it. But her house her rules. You probably have house rules she thinks are bonkers too. You’d be outraged if she went against your parenting wishes I’m sure.

if it bothers you just give money and take the effort out of it for yourself.

Santa brings the presents in the stockings. The presents under the tree are from family/friends.

It's different though. You can explain to kids that some families have more money than others and that not everyone can afford a new X box. It's harder to explain why Santa would favour one kid over another, especially with the whole narrative around the good and naughty lists. It's not actually something I've come across personally tbh but still worth considering I think.

Miserable how? Kids get the magic of seeing that he's been and filled their stockings and also have a big pile of gifts under the tree. Not so much now as both are late teens but interestingly both have told me separately this year that stockings are their favourite bit. (Think 19 year old DS was concerned they might stop)! When I was a child my dad would leave footprints in ash on the hearth which made it even more magical and let's face it, big presents like bikes etc are not fitting down the chimney!!

If you get your kid an X box and Sam's parents get him a book and a chocolate orange, it's still a big difference, regardless of whether parents or Santa brings things.

But surely you can see the difference for Sam between 'my parents don't have the money for an xbox' and 'Santa, who has infinite resource, brought my friend an xbox but not me'?

No but a “Birthday fairy” isn’t a well known tradition, Santa is!

Agreed. It's ridiculous. It's only from mumsnet that I've seen people do this. Also with you on Father Christmas!

Op is not being childish to want the present that she lovingly purchased, wrapped and gave with love should have the labels removed and repurposed as part of the policy of all gifts come from Santa. I can very well imagine only one set of people felt they could stand up to the “is it ok if” request. This is incredibly rude. And quite childish of parents to expect people to part with their hard earned money for no thanks or recognition. Dd and I used to spend hours writing thank you cards.

I think this is bonkers. If you want all your gifts to be 'from Santa' then fine, but ripping labels off what other people have given is very weird behaviour. I want my kids to know that they have thoughtful family members who have taken the time to choose gifts they will like, and to be able to thank them.

If Father Christmas brings all the gifts how do you explain when your best friend gets the toy everyone wants and you didn’t. Or she gets twenty gifts and you get five. Ah, you must have been a bad child in some way.